I Know Not Why
by ATruthSoLoud
Summary: Blaine loses his sight at the age of seven and his world changes drastically. He meets a young boy that sings like an angel and it sparks something within him. Years later, fate brings the boys back together and Blaine's world is changed once again.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: I Know Not Why

**Pairing**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: Mostly PG, eventually NC-17

**Word Count**: ~52k

**Summary:** Blaine loses his sight at the age of seven and his world changes dramatically. He meets a young boy that sings like an angel and it sparks something within him. Years later, fate brings the boys back together and Blaine realizes that he's never forgotten that day so long ago when he first heard Kurt sing.

**Warnings:** poorly translated French, angst, angst, angst, homophobic slurs, sporadic smut.

**A/N:** In this story, Blaine and Kurt are the same age/grade.

Originally a post on the kink meme - http:/glee-kink-meme(.)livejournal(.)com/22507(.)html?thread=26013419

….

_**I lift mine eyes against the sky,**_

_**The clouds are weeping, so am I;**_

_**I lift mine eyes again on high,**_

_**The sun is smiling, so am I.**_

_**Why do I smile? Why do I weep?**_

_**I do not know; it lies too deep.**_

_**I hear the winds of autumn sigh,**_

_**They break my heart, they make me cry;**_

_**I hear the birds of lovely spring,**_

_**My hopes revive, I help them sing.**_

_**Why do I sing? Why do I cry?**_

_**It lies so deep, I know not why.**_

_**...**_

It was already such a horrible day. Grey, dull, ugly.

He was picked last in dodgeball and had his lunch stolen by that stupid Tommy Johnson.

At the end of the day, he ran as fast as he could to his mother's waiting car. She always knew how to cheer him up after a day like this.

She sang all of the Veggie Tales songs with him as they drove. She was never embarrassed to sing about cheeseburgers and hairbrushes at the top of her lungs with him.

The last thing he remembers is her shining green eyes and rosy cheeks as she smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

Then everything went black.

...

He's scared. So scared.

And hearing their voices only makes it worse. He's never heard his mother so sad, but it's his father's calming whispers that worry him most.

"It's okay, he'll be okay. He's alive. Shh, it's not your fault."

He wants to fully wake up and hug his momma and ask what's wrong, but everything is still so dark and he can't help but let himself drift away again.

...

When he wakes next, he tries to open his eyes, say something, sit up. All he can manage is to squeeze the hand holding his so delicately.

"Blainey? Can you hear me?"

He nods at the sound of his mother's voice. She still sounds so sad.

A straw is placed at his lips and he takes a small sip. "Where are we, momma?"

She stifles a sob and tries several times to say something before the words actually come out.

"Baby, we were in an accident. And y-you got hurt. We're at the hospital."

"What kind of accident? I don't feel hurt. I feel real tired though. So tired I can't even open my eyes."

His mother let out a choked sound and put her head down where their hands were clasped. He can feel the way she is shaking and the tears running down her face.

It's his father's voice that he hears next. The tenderness in it is something that he's not used to. His father has always been very straightforward, gruff, often demanding - never the soothing presence that his mother was.

"Son, another car slid on some ice and that's why you're hurt. They've given you some medicine so you won't feel the pain. But sometimes..." His father sighs deeply and moves closer to the bed. "Sometimes we get hurt in ways that we don't necessarily feel."

"But how can I be hurt if I don't feel it? Is the medicine they gave me keeping my eyes closed?"

"Blaine, your eyes are open. The accident made it so you can't see anymore." His dad sounds annoyed having to explain. This is probably the most he's ever said to Blaine in one sitting. Blaine starts to cry and slowly brings his free hand up to his face.

"Careful, baby," his mother whispers.

He feels the bandages covering his forehead and eyebrows and then slowly moves his fingers down so they hover over his eye. He can feel his eyelashes move as he tries opening and closing his eyes. Tears continue silently falling from his eyes because he doesn't understand. He feels ok. His mother pulls him into a hug and rocks him as he cries.

'You can't see anymore' is all he can think before he falls asleep again.

...

The next few months seem to go by in a daze. His father argues with the doctors and makes them run every test imaginable. He's taken to see specialists, they say words he doesn't understand, and he doesn't have the will to ask. All he can think day in and day out is that he wishes he could see. Maybe if he hadn't made his mom sing those stupid songs then everything would be ok. Or if he hadn't stopped to tell Mrs. Duncan to have a good weekend they would've made it home sooner and that other car wouldn't have been anywhere near them. It's obviously his fault that this happened so he accepts that he deserves this. He can't tell anyone this because his mother already cries enough and his father would probably agree with him. He stumbles around his house still trying to do things on his own and usually ends up throwing a tantrum when he needs help (but won't ask for it).

He stays in bed as much as possible because he doesn't have to see anything to just lie there. His mother still sings to him every morning to wake up. It only makes him sad and he wishes she would stop, but he can't bring himself to tell her because it's the only time of day that she's not crying.

His father seems to avoid him, focusing rather on finding a new specialist that can 'fix' him. When the doctor he flies in from California tells him there's nothing he can do, his father yells. All of the doctors have said the same thing - words like neurological and cortical and trauma. The only word Blaine understands is blind and it makes him squeeze his eyes shut so tightly that it hurts.

...

_The light is so bright in his eyes and he wants to tell whoever is shining it at him to knock it off. But when he sits up, he realizes it's the sun. He's in the park surrounded by lush green grass and blue skies that go on as far as the eye can see. The red and purple slides shine like they are brand new. When he stands up to take everything in, he sees his mother sitting on the swing. She looks at him as he waves and smiles, but her expression does not match his. Her face is smudged with makeup and tears. She looks away as her sobs increase._

_Blaine tries to yell out, but starts gasping instead. He falls to his knees trying to take a breath. He feels the darkness starting to take over again and he begs in his mind for it to stop._

Blaine shoots up in bed, gasping and kicking the covers off. He can breathe. It was just a dream. _Just a dream_. The only time he'll ever see colors again is in his dreams. And even then he's not sure he remembers them correctly. He curls back into a ball and cries. In his dream, he couldn't see the color of his mother's eyes and now he can't remember the exact shade of green they are.

….

On the worst days, Blaine thinks that it would be better if he would just die. Then his mother wouldn't have to do everything for him. His parents could have other kids and they would eventually forget about this stupid, blind little boy.

Everyone keeps saying how lucky he was. He doesn't feel lucky; he feels broken.

He's run out of tears so he just pulls the blanket over his head and covers his face with his hands trying to hide from a world that he can't even see.

...

In the spring, his parents come to tell him that they're sending him back to school. It's been almost three months since the accident and he's heard his parents argue about him just 'lying around' and 'wasting away.' His mother wants to encourage him; his father wants him to get over 'this thing' as he refers to it like it's just a bad day. He doesn't like when they fight, especially about him, but he doesn't know how to function anymore.

He panics for a minute thinking about that bully Tommy Johnson and how he'll never be able to get around the school on his own. But his mom says that he's not going back to that school. They've found a special school for kids like him in Columbus and the teachers there will be able to help him adjust.

"You're sending me away?" He lets out a little whining noise, but holds back the tears.

"No, baby, never. I'm going to go with you next week to get you enrolled and then your father will join us in a few weeks once he's able to finalize the transfer at his work. We've already looked at some houses and we'll stay with your Aunt Marcie until we find one we like."

She rubs his back as she explains. He withdraws back to that comfortably quiet place in his mind and just nods. He doesn't care where they go. He still can't see.

...

With the car fully packed, the pair head off a few days later. He keeps his eyes closed and presses his head against the cool window. Music starts playing and he immediately straightens up.

"Can you please turn that off? I just want it quiet."

"But baby this is your favorite CD. Did you want to listen to something else?"

"No, just quiet. No music."

She gives him a concerned look in the rearview mirror though she knows he can't see it. The next two hours are silent except for the sounds of the road.

...

They get settled into Aunt Marcie's house with no trouble. Blaine has only met her a couple of times that he can remember and she was always nice to him. But now she talks to him like a baby or like he's stupid instead of just blind. He wants to yell that he doesn't need her treating him that way because he is 7 years old and most definitely not a little boy, but he only thinks that will make his momma cry. Instead, he asks her to walk him to his room so he can lie down.

He doesn't cry anymore about it. He's still sad, but has decided it's not worth the tears. Staying quiet and out of the way are the only things he can think to do to keep the burden off his momma. What he doesn't know is that she watches him always and prays every night for her enthusiastic smiling boy to return.

...

The first day at his new school is scary. His mom leads him to the front office, but then the principal sends her away saying something about learning independence. Blaine turns toward where he thinks his mother is and wants to beg her to take him home. He lifts his hand slightly as if to grab for her. After just a few moments, he frowns and lowers his hand back to his side. The principal grabs Blaine's hand and begins to walk slowly with him down the hallway.

"Blaine, I'm Principal Foster. I'm going to walk you to your first class and tell you a little about our school here. Every student here is blind. Some can partially see, or see shapes or colors, others are completely blind like you. All of the staff here will do everything they can to help you, but we also want you to do as much on your own as you can. For the first couple of weeks, you will be assigned an aide that will walk you to class, help you get settled, and teach you some basics for outside of the classroom." She pulled him to a stop and he could hear her squat down next to him. "I want you to reach your left hand out to the wall."

Blaine slowly raised his hand until he felt the cool, smooth wall. He could also feel a thick wire that hung just a few inches away from the wall.

"These are guide wires, Blaine. They'll help you to get where you're going once you become more independent. Now, let's continue to class."

Principal Foster stood, but did not start walking. After a pause, Blaine grabbed the wire loosely and started walking forward. It wasn't a smooth walk, but they arrived at his classroom with minimal guidance from Principal Foster.

Blaine met his teacher (Mrs. Bixby), his temporary aide (Jennifer), and settled into the class.

'Just make it through today' he thought as he sat at his desk and Jennifer began talking to him about what his routine would be.

….

It was an accident. Accidents happen every day, right? But it was more than that. That accident not only took her son's sight, it broke his spirit.

What 7-year-old stays in bed twenty hours a day? She tried everything from cooking his favorite meals to singing his favorite songs and nothing worked. Christina Anderson would have gone to the ends of the Earth to get Blaine what he wanted - all he had to do was ask. Problem was, the only thing he wanted was to see again and no matter how hard she tried, she could not give him that.

She noticed that he stopped listening to music. He barely talked. And though his eyes still glowed that beautiful amber hue, the blank stare and overwhelming sadness drowned it out.

They were sending him to school in Columbus. It wasn't up for debate with her husband. He could bring in one hundred specialists and have them poke and prod, but it wasn't helping. This school could help. It just had to.

She talked with the guidance counselor all about their program - they had music and sports and knew how to help Blaine adjust to this in a way that she couldn't. When she told Blaine about the school there was a flash of apprehension at first and then he just looked resigned.

Blaine didn't seem nervous on the drive there or when they settled in at Aunt Marcie's. On the morning of his first day at his new school, he acted the same as every other day for the past three months. It wasn't until she gently kissed his forehead and let go of his hand in the principal's office that she saw any emotion on his face. She stood just outside the door, but the almost pleading look on Blaine's face as he searched for her quietly made her want to grab his hand and never let go. The look only lasted a few seconds before it turned into a small frown and then back to his blank stare.

This would be good for him. Everything was going to be fine. It wasn't until Blaine and Principal Foster disappeared around a corner that she let herself cry.

'Please…' was the only thought in her head. But so much held on that one word.

….

She was too nervous to go home, so she busied herself with errands. Every hour, she would drive by the school, unsure what she was even watching for. As it approached 3 o'clock, she returned to the school and parked at the curb to wait. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to go back to the principal's office to pick up Blaine, so she hovered just outside of her car until the bell rang. Dozens of kids from elementary to high school age emerged and dispersed to waiting parents and buses. The crowd began to clear and Christina saw Blaine walking out slowly with a young woman holding his hand and talking to him very enthusiastically.

"Hi, Mrs. Anderson? My name is Jennifer and I'm Blaine's assigned aide for the next few weeks while he gets acclimated."

Christina shook the aide's hand loosely, more focused on her son with his bowed head. "Nice to meet you."

"Blaine, I'll be out here tomorrow morning at 8:45 when your mom drops you off, ok?"

The boy's head nodded minutely. Jennifer released his hand and walked off with a smile and a wave.

Christina buckled Blaine in and slowly started the short drive home. She watched him intently in the rearview mirror, waiting for him to say something, anything, but he just kept his head down.

When they got home, Blaine timidly felt his way to his bedroom and sat on the bed. Christina leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed, a concerned look across her face.

"Blaine, how was the first day?"

"Okay."

"What kind of things did you learn?"

"Nothing really, it was just the first day."

"Jennifer seems nice. And do you like your teacher?"

Blaine gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Did something happen, baby?"

Her concern increased when he didn't answer, a long pause hanging between them.

"Blainey?"

She heard him mumble something so quiet that she walked over and sat next to him on the bed. "What was that?"

"Please don't make me go back," he whispered.

"Why do you say that, baby?"

"I just… please don't make me go."

She wrapped her arms tightly around his tiny frame. "But why Blaine? It's a good school."

"Please, Momma. I'll do anything," he choked out a small sob. "You can teach me here and I'll be so good and do whatever you want."

Christina rubbed soothing circles in his back while he cried into her shoulder. She waited him out, knowing more words would come when he was ready. After a few minutes, Blaine had stopped crying and pulled away so he could lay his head in her lap. She slowly began to run her fingers through his hair and hum softly. His breathing had evened out and she was almost certain he was asleep until she felt him move while he talked.

"It's so hard."

"What's hard, baby? The school?"

"Yah," he sniffed.

"It's always hard at a new school, but it will get better. Remember when you first started at your other school? You didn't like it until the third day when you found someone to eat lunch with. And then you started liking your teachers and all the new things you were learning. Remember?"

"It's different here. They want me to do stuff on my own and it's just so hard because I know they know I can't see, but they don't care."

"Blainey, I'm sure it's going to be very hard in the beginning. But I need you to try because this school can really help you. There are a little more than two months until school lets out. Can you please try until then and I promise if you still hate it we will find something else?"

"That's a long time."

"I know, but you can't just quit something after one day because it's hard. I want you to try really, really hard to learn what they're teaching you."

He sighed and cuddled into her leg. "Okay, momma."

She leaned down and kissed his temple, saying a prayer for tomorrow to be better.

….

Jennifer met him outside of school just like she said she would. The morning was hectic practicing spatial skills, organization, focusing on other senses to help with daily activities. It was barely after lunch when he became frustrated. Jennifer had him working on learning the Braille alphabet and it was just too hard trying to 'read' with his fingers.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Blaine, this is our afternoon activity. It's important that you start learning this."

"I don't care. I don't want to do anymore." He pushed the book off his desk and crossed his arms.

"Please pick that up, Blaine."

He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored her.

"Blaine, I know this is difficult, but you can't throw books on the floor. Please pick it up and we'll go into another room where it's quieter."

He let out a noise of annoyance, but slowly lowered himself to kneel on the floor and feel around for the book. It didn't take long to find and then Jennifer reached down and grabbed his other hand. She led him to another room that sounded empty.

"Let's sit down on the floor. There are some comfy cushions."

He leaned down and felt for one before sitting. Jennifer sat across from him and again took his free hand.

"Blaine, can you tell me why you had an outburst today?"

"You're making me do too much and I hate it."

"Don't you want to be able to do stuff on your own?"

He made a pouty face. "Yes, but you can't just make me learn all this stuff. It's too hard."

"Of course it's hard, Blaine. Learning anything new is hard. And I know it's especially hard for you starting here in the middle of the semester."

"But I'm blind! I can't read and I can't walk wherever I want and I need people to help me."

"You'll always have people to help you, but what this school will show you is that you can do so much on your own. I know you're blind, Blaine. There are also 200 other kids at this school that are blind so you are not allowed to use that as an excuse."

She rubbed circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. "This book that you have, these letters that you're feeling will help you to read just as well as those that aren't blind. It's going to take a lot of hard work on your part though. You're going to have a lot of days where you get frustrated and want to just stop, but you can't just give up when things get hard."

"I don't!"

"Ok then, show me that. Blaine, your mother has told us how very bright you are, how determined and hardworking you can be. I know you can do this and I'm here to help. I won't let anything hold you back, including your own stubbornness."

"I'm not stubborn," he mumbled.

She laughed a little. "Ok then, how about you open that book again and complete the lesson for today."

He sat there thinking about it for a minute before he silently withdrew his hand from hers and flipped back to the first page.

….

She wasn't entirely sure what she expected or when she expected it to happen. Blaine had been at the school for nearly two months and the only advancement he was making was in his braille studies. The music teacher said he refused to sing and declined learning any instrument, choosing rather to just sit quietly in the corner until it was time to go back to his regular class. He never initiated any contact with his peers and responded less than enthusiastically when anyone approached him. He'd stopped having a regular aide once he figured out the guide wire system and how to read the basics of braille. His teacher said he was smart and did everything she asked, but stayed withdrawn unless forced to interact.

Christina thought when they finally found a place of their own and Blaine's father joined them in Columbus that things would improve. Blaine seemed to adjust to the house very quickly, feeling his way along the walls and mapping his course. But as his independence at school grew, so did his independence at home. Unfortunately, this just meant that he was even more isolated because the list of things he needed help with grew smaller and smaller.

This should make a mother happy, right? And she was happy. But she still missed her little boy and she didn't know what else to do. It was like living with a moody teenager instead of a first grader and Christina hated herself for thinking like that. Blaine was allowed to be upset, he had every reason to want to be alone. But the longer he stayed in the depths of this despair, she knew it would be that much harder to crawl out again.

….

"Class, please put your books away. We'll be heading to the music room here shortly for an extra special treat."

Blaine sighed. He didn't know which was worse: math or whatever 'treat' awaited them in the music room. Things had improved slightly in his months at the school, but he still didn't feel like he belonged. He was able to learn his Braille books relatively quickly and maneuvered around much more confidently than when he first arrived. He was still pretty sure that he didn't want to return after the school year ended though. His mom could teach him all of this, he was sure of it. And she wouldn't push him to do more until he almost cried. She'd let him go as slow as he wanted.

Plus, it's not like he had any friends here. He ate lunch in his homeroom while his teacher prepared for afternoon lessons. Nobody would miss him if he stopped coming to this school.

He put his math book in his bag and placed it in his cubby as the class lined up against the wall. Once they arrived in the music room, he started to head towards his normal seat in the corner, but Mrs. Bixby told them the chairs had been removed to make more space and everyone should sit on the floor. It was a fairly large room, more than double the size of most of the classrooms, but they had to fit all of the elementary classes together for this 'treat.'

Blaine sat on the side against the wall, knees pulled to his chest, and his arms around them. He laid his head against his knees and tried to tune out the loud chatter in the room.

"Alright everyone, please hush now. We have some special guests visiting us today from Lima. The McKinley Elementary School choir is here to perform for us all today. They were one of only 5 choirs chosen to perform at this year's Columbus Arts Festival and we're so happy that they could make time to come sing for us also. So without further ado, Mr. Randall, the stage is yours."

Blaine heard a group of people shuffling into place and then someone softly began playing the piano. A young girl started singing a song he wasn't familiar with, but her voice was nice. The rest of the choir joined her on the chorus.

_Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?_

_Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?_

_Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?_

_Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?_

When the song came to a close, Blaine's classmates clapped politely, and then there was a prolonged silence before another student rustled forward on the stage. The pause between songs was so long that Blaine started to drift off into his own thoughts again. The next sound, though, hit him like a splash of cold water.

_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high_

_There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby_

Blaine's head shot up and turned towards the boy singing. He sung without the accompaniment of the piano, but he didn't need it. His voice sounded so clear and pure.

_Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream,_

_Really do come true._

The rest of the choir joined the boy in singing, but Blaine tried to focus on that singular voice.

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me._

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops,_

_Away above the chimney tops, _

_That's where you'll find me._

_Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_Why then, oh why can't I?_

The rest of the choir faded off and the boy sang the last bit by himself.

_If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow_

_Why, oh why can't I?_

Blaine unwrapped his arms from his knees and clapped along with his classmates.

"Ok, for this next song we need everyone to clap along with us."

The director clapped his hands together until the group got the beat. Blaine found himself clapping along without really thinking about it. When they started to sing, Blaine smiled.

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me_

_When the road looks rough ahead_

_And you're miles and miles_

_From your nice warm bed_

_Just remember what your old pal said_

_Boy, you've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me _

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too_

_There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you_

_We stick together and we see it through_

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me _

_Some other folks might be_

_A little bit smarter than I am_

_Bigger and stronger too_

_Maybe_

_But none of them will ever love you the way I do _

_It's me and you_

_And as the years go by_

_Boys, our friendship will never die_

_You're gonna see_

_It's our destiny_

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me_

At the end of the song, everyone had joined in. The loud applause and encouraging cheers from his classmates seemed to snap Blaine from his trance as he realize he had been singing along with a smile plastered across his face. He couldn't remember the last time he had smiled like that.

"Alright, kids, the next hour will be free period. You can stay here or return to your homeroom. Several of the McKinley kids are interested in participating in our adaptive learning activities. If you would like to help with that, please hang out here."

Blaine stood, but stayed rooted to his spot against the wall. The room had mostly emptied except for a few scattered voices over near the stage. He kept hearing that voice in his head. The boy had so much life and emotion in his voice. He wondered if…

"Why are you standing over here all by yourself?"

Blaine was torn from his thoughts by the question and caught off guard.

"Huh?"

"I just wanted to know why you're over here alone."

"Oh, I don't know."

The other boy giggled and it sounded like a melody.

"Are you…? Did you sing the solo in that second song?"

"Yah. Did I do okay?"

Blaine's eyebrows rose. "You were amazing. I've never heard a boy sing like that before."

"You mean like a girl?" The boy sounded defensive.

Blaine furrowed his brow in confusion. "No. Like an angel."

The boy giggled again, this time with a hint of relief. "Well, I'm no angel, but it's nice to meet you anyway. I'm Kurt."

"I'm Blaine."

"Do you sing, Blaine?"

"No. Kind of. I mean… I used to a little. But not like that."

"Why not anymore?"

"I just haven't felt like it now that I'm blind."

"You don't have to see to sing, silly."

"I know that. It's just that I used to sing when I was happy and I don't really feel happy anymore."

"My mom used to say that singing can make you feel anything you want. So you just need to find a happy song and then you'll be happy by singing it. My mom and I sang together all the time, but I can understand sometimes not feeling like singing."

"She doesn't sing with you anymore?"

There was a pause before Kurt responded. "No. She got real sick the end of last year and… she died."

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"It's ok. I used to sing her all the happy songs I know and it always made her smile. It's just me and dad now and he doesn't sing a whole lot, but he tries really hard and he's a good dad."

Blaine didn't know what he would do if anything ever happened to his momma.

"If singing was something special between you and your mom, how did you keep doing it after what happened?"

"I just remembered how happy my singing made her and how much she encouraged me. I don't think she would be happy with me if she knew that I stopped singing. So I just pretend like she's still singing along with me and I want to make her smile again."

"When I sang, it used to make my mom happy too."

"Maybe you should just try it then. I bet she misses singing with you."

Blaine hadn't thought of that. His momma still sang to him in the mornings and hummed while making him breakfast. She didn't sing like she used to though. "Yah, maybe."

"I've gotta go. I'm supposed to do the blindfold thing where we learn what it's like to be blind."

"I can help with that!" Blaine said a little too enthusiastically.

Kurt grinned and grabbed Blaine's hand. "Okay, let's go."

Kurt got his blindfold and they walked together along the guide wires. The teacher led them out to the activity field where the older students were playing goal ball. They could hear the ringing of the bell as the ball got closer to the goal near the building. The teacher led the group back in where they touched different signs outside of classrooms to feel for the braille. Kurt stayed in front, but waited for Blaine to touch each one to tell him what it said. They ended back in the music room and Kurt quickly took off his blindfold.

"That was so hard. I don't think I could ever do that."

"What? Be blind? We can't really help it."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just… I guess I can see how hard it must be for you."

"It is. But when you don't have a choice, you just have to learn to do things differently."

There was a long pause between them and Blaine could hear Kurt fidgeting. "Blaine, can I ask you something?"

"Okay."

"Were you born blind?"

"No. I was in an accident and I hurt my head. When I woke up in the hospital I was blind."

"Is that why you have this scar?" Kurt reached up and ran his finger along the scar just above Blaine's eyebrow. The touch startled Blaine.

"Yah. So I guess I have it better than a lot of kids. I got to see for 7 years before my accident. I've seen colors and shapes and things that other kids here only imagine because they never got a chance to see."

Blaine heard someone yelling in the distance. "It sounds like your teacher is rounding everyone up."

"Yah, I guess I've gotta go. Uhm… it was nice to meet you, Blaine."

Blaine frowned a little, but held out his hand. "It was nice to meet you too, Kurt."

Kurt shook his hand and then turned to leave. "Hey Kurt?"

"Yah?"

"Why did you come up and talk to me earlier?"

"I saw you before we started singing and you looked so sad. When we sang you started smiling, but then when it was over you just looked sad again. I'm alone a lot at my school and sometimes I wish someone would just come up and ask what I'm doing."

Blaine smiled as he heard Kurt turning to leave again. "Thanks, Kurt."

Blaine stood there for a while lost in his thoughts. He slouched and meandered back to his homeroom to get his backpack. He knew it was almost time for school to let out. As he walked along the wire leading to the front of the school he hesitated momentarily outside of the music room. He sighed and turned into the room before he could talk himself out of it.

"Ms. Crenshaw?"

"Yes, Blaine?"

"Can I borrow a couple of your braille music books to take home?"

….

Something was different when she picked him up that afternoon, but Christina couldn't put her finger on it. Blaine was just as quiet as he always was as they drove home. He still went straight to his room and only came out for dinner. Her husband was working late again, so when Blaine retreated to his room after they ate, the house was filled with an all too familiar silence.

She busied herself with cleaning the kitchen and finishing the laundry from that afternoon. She called down the hallway to Blaine for him to put his pajamas on since it was almost bedtime.

Every day, she looked forward to two things: waking Blaine up and tucking him in at night. In the mornings, she would tiptoe in and sit on the edge of the bed to watch him sleep for a moment. His curls were always a tangled mess and he had the sweetest face. He didn't have that dejected look that he seemed to hold throughout the day. He looked so peaceful. And in that moment, it was as if nothing bad had happened. She would hum softly and brush his hair out of his eyes until he stretched and opened his eyes with an unfocused gaze.

In the evenings, he still let her read him a story though he would never ask for it. He protested weakly (_I'm almost eight, momma - you don't have to read to me anymore), _but then he would give her all his attention as they continued the story from where they left off the night before. She knew his days were exhausting and it never took long for his eyes to droop and she would lose him to dreamland.

As she walked into his room that night, he was already in bed with eyes towards the ceiling.

"Did I already miss getting to tuck you in? That's my favorite part," she said in a fake pouty voice.

Blaine didn't respond and didn't show any sign that he'd heard her until she sat on the bed next to him. He tilted his head towards her and placed his hand on her knee.

"Momma, do you miss singing with me?"

"What? Of course I do, Blainey."

"But aren't you mad at me?"

"Why on Earth would I be mad at you?"

"We were singing and I distracted you and then the car hit us."

"Oh baby, is that what you think? That because we were singing that caused the accident?"

"It did. Maybe you could've seen the car and stopped us."

She lay down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her until he was cradled against her chest. "Blaine, we got in that accident because someone hit a patch of ice and couldn't stop their car from sliding. It had nothing to do with you or me or even that other driver. It was a terrible accident, but no one is to blame for it."

His breath stuttered as he cried against her chest.

"Blainey. It's not your fault."

She looked at his red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks, wiping away the tears that still fell.

"Then why did it happen?"

"Baby, I don't know. Sometimes bad things happen that we can't control and it's nobody's fault. Do you understand that?"

"I guess. I just wish it didn't happen and I tried to think of ways it could've been different."

"I wish every day that it didn't happen. But you know what? I am also so very happy that you weren't hurt worse. I know this has been hard on you, Blaine. But you're still here with me and I love you so much."

"I love you, too, momma." He burrowed his face back into her chest. "Can you sing to me?"

She bit her lip and held back the cry that desperately wanted to leave her body. "Yah, baby."

She started off slowly, one hand running through his curls and the other cradling his back.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

Her little boy was asleep before she even finished the first verse.

….

Everything wasn't fixed overnight, but he felt like there was a small spark in him that was growing every day. And as it grew, things started to get better.

He learned to read music in braille and sang with his music class (very quietly at first, but it was a start). He picked the happiest songs he could find and it really did make him happy to sing them.

This school had been good for him just like his momma said it would be.

….

He started giving her a goodbye wave in the mornings and greeted her with a shy smile in the afternoons. The changes were subtle, but there was something new every day. On the last day of school, Christina took Blaine for ice cream as a treat. Between bites of his sundae and stories of how his day went, he nonchalantly added that he wanted to stay at the school. She didn't probe further or act too excited though the smile on her face surely gave her away to everyone else in the shoppe.

"I'll call your principal tomorrow and let her know."

She watched him finish his ice cream, hers long forgotten. The glimpses were small, but there he was. Her little boy was coming back.

That afternoon when she overheard him singing quietly to himself in his room, she locked herself in the pantry for twenty minutes and cried tears of joy.

Before the summer was over, they were singing loudly together, neither holding back or ashamed.


	2. Chapter 2

….

It's amazing the things you can learn when you open yourself up and just believe that you actually can do things. Sometimes your path differs from what is expected, but you still make it to the end in your own time and your own way.

Blaine was by no means the star of his school or the top of his class. But after that first school year ended, he approached everything with a little more enthusiasm and determination than before. It helped that he no longer held back with his mother (and with his father when they had time to spend together). He finally began to make friends at school – mostly people who shared and helped build upon his love for music. The people around him nurtured his current talents and helped him to identify and cultivate new ones along the way.

The summer after third grade, he attended his first sleepaway camp. His mother had worried for weeks before and hardly slept the first two days he was gone. It wasn't until she received a call from him on the third day that her nerves were calmed. Blaine spoke so enthusiastically that she could barely get a word in other than a quick goodbye before Blaine had to run off to dinner. She still worried after that, but only the way any mother would worry about their child that they've entrusted to another person.

Blaine always came home exhausted but smiling after the three-week camp. It quickly became a summer tradition.

….

When Blaine was 11, he got his first walking cane to help him maneuver in areas where he was not familiar. It took a few weeks of accidently hitting people and breaking things before he seemed to get the hang of it. Christina still helped guide him sometimes, but Blaine preferred using his cane when he could (_I can't have you lead me around forever, Mom_). Her heart swelled with pride at her son's growing independence and confidence. She still thought often of those early days after the accident when she worried so for her son and his future.

There were still times when she caught herself thinking 'what if?' and imagining the future Blaine could've had if not for the accident. Other parents giving her sympathetic smiles when they noticed her son, or particularly frustrating days when Blaine seemed to regress and withdraw. Those were the days that she thought back to that icy winter afternoon and wondered about a different future.

But then she sees the smiling, strong young man she's raised and there is no other possibility that could replace the here and now. Because when she looks at him, he lights up the room.

….

When Blaine is 14, a girl enters his life and everything changes forever. It's love at first sight (or rather, touch) and he swears they'll never be apart. She's a beautiful two-year-old Golden Retriever and she's Blaine's first guide dog. Learning to get around with her is a struggle in the beginning. He takes classes to learn how to use the commands she already knows and train her on new things that will help him in his daily life. During the day, she guides him carefully, always staying in pace with him. She lies dutifully at his feet when he sits in class, waiting patiently until he needs her again. But at night, with her harness off in the comfort of their home, she is the playful family dog begging Christina for treats and carrying her toys around looking for a willing playmate. She never strays far from Blaine though, never knowing when he might need her next.

….

He's giddy as his junior year comes to a close. For the first time in years, he's not going to camp. There are a number of reasons why – between all of his extracurriculars and increased academic workload in high school, he's in need of a break. His friends are disappointed, but they understand. Mostly though, Blaine is looking forward to going home.

His father received a huge promotion in the fall that meant he would have to relocate back to the Lima office. They'd found a house that October, but Blaine and his mother stayed in their Columbus home until just before Christmas and then moved the last of their items out of the old house and into the new one. His mother said they could move back in with Aunt Marcie when school started again, but it was Blaine that suggested the possibility of boarding. He was getting older now and he needed to continue learning to be more independent. Living in the on-campus housing would be one more step in this. She'd been reluctant to agree, but Blaine's father supported the idea so she eventually conceded.

The hardest part about boarding was that he missed his mother so. She drove up almost every weekend to spend time with him or attend any competition he was in. On his free weekends when his mom couldn't come up, he would ride with Aunt Marcie to Lima. It was still a hard semester though.

So when school let out for the year, there was no question in Blaine's mind that his summer would be spent at home.

….

He settled his things in his room and wandered the house re-familiarizing himself with it even though he'd spent enough weekends here to know the layout. His mother had been cooking all day in preparation for Aunt Marcie to bring him home. She'd made cookies and fresh bread and a cake to celebrate his homecoming. There was homemade lasagna baking in the oven and the entire house smelled like heaven.

He'd been home approximately one hour and his mother had already hugged him half a dozen times. The happiness radiated from her and Blaine soaked every bit of it up. _Home_.

His dad arrived shortly before dinner was ready, giving Blaine a brief, but tight hug. His dad was never one to wear his emotions on his sleeve, so it surprised Blaine when he said he was really glad to have him home. Throughout the years, his mother had always been the cheerleader, the protector, the one to fight for Blaine. But his father was always there in the background supporting him.

After dinner, they all walked Aunt Marcie out so she could make the two-hour drive before it got too late. Blaine went to bed shortly after, completely exhausted and thankful to be home.

….

In his first week home, Blaine had been far lazier than he intended, but it was just so nice to be able to sleep in and lounge the day away. He faintly heard his mother crack open the door to let the dog out, but Blaine just rolled over and hugged his pillow. The loud, repeated honking of a car woke Blaine from his sleep. He reached out to his clock and pressed a button to get the time. 7:42am.

He slowly crawled out of bed to close his window when the honking stopped, but the yelling started.

"Puck, stop it! He said he'll be out in a minute."

"Come on, Princess. It's the last week of school. Lighten up."

"I am perfectly light, thank you very much. Now move your heap of junk car so I can back out."

"Just ride with us."

"And be at your mercy? No thank you."

Blaine heard car doors shutting and before long both cars were gone. He crawled back into bed, but left the window open to let the breeze in.

….

In an attempt to jumpstart his summer studies, Blaine began reading the first book on his required readings list that afternoon. He was just getting to the part where Elizabeth refuses Mr. Darcy's proposal when he heard a car pull up next door. He set the book down and listened, both windows open wide now. The door slammed and its occupant was mumbling gruffly to himself as he entered the house. He was just about to pick his book up again when he heard the window that faced his room being opened. Blaine sat still on the floor next to the bed. His neighbor continued to mumble to himself, but it now sounded like soothing words as he stayed at the window taking deep breaths.

"Just four more days and then you don't have to see them for months." The boy seemed much calmer now and eventually sighed heavily before leaving the open window. Blaine focused all of his attention towards the other house, trying to hear something more.

"Blaine?"

He jumped as his mother walked in.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"I, uh, was reading."

"But your book is closed."

"I know. I was taking a little break." And eavesdropping…

"Well finish up and get ready. We're going out for dinner and I want to stop by the bookstore before we meet up with your father."

He reluctantly picked himself up off the floor and headed to take a shower.

….

When they got home that night, he headed back to his room to read more of his book. He sat on his bed, but before he could even grab for the book, he heard talking next door. The boy was talking to someone and since he couldn't hear any response, he assumed the boy was on the phone.

"You have no idea how happy I'll be when this week is over, Mercedes. They are determined to make my life horrible." There was a minute of silence and then the boy continued. "I know, I know. I have to go do my skin care regimen so I'll see you in the morning."

Blaine was too afraid to move even after several minutes of quiet. His light wasn't on, but he was still sure the boy could look directly into his room and would catch him eavesdropping (for the second time that day!).

He relaxed back against the headboard and picked up where he left off in his book. Before long, he heard a faint sound again drift from next door. It wasn't a song meant to be shared, but Blaine could hear the boy humming a familiar tune.

It lasted for several minutes and then the room went quiet once more. Blaine stayed propped against his headboard, book in hand, though he didn't read another word that night.

….

The next day, he joined his mom while she ran errands. He hadn't left the house since he'd been home except for dinner the night before and to walk the dog.

"Mom, what do you know about our neighbors?"

"Why? Did something happen?"

"No, you worry too much. I'm just curious. When I was home at Spring Break, I think the house was empty and now there's a family living there."

"They just moved in about six weeks ago. Mr. and Mrs. Hummel and their two kids. Both in high school I believe, but I'm not sure what grade. They're a really nice family, though we've only met them a few times."

Blaine let out a casual 'hmm' as he walked down the grocery aisle. He wasn't sure what else he wanted to know or even what else his mother could tell him, so he let the topic drop.

….

When they got home that afternoon, he helped his mother put away the groceries and they made dinner together. His father would be working late again, so he liked to keep his mother company as much as he could.

That evening, he was setting his iPod on the dock when he heard it. It was low, but he could still make out the familiar tune from the boy next door. This time he was actually singing it.

_No more talk of darkness,_

_Forget these wide-eyed fears._

_I'm here, nothing can harm you._

_My words will warm and calm you._

There was something in this boy's voice that sent a shiver through Blaine's entire body. So familiar, but different.

_Let me be your freedom,_

_Let daylight dry your tears._

_I'm here, with you, beside you,_

_To guard you and to guide you . . ._

As if on queue, a loud squeak brought everything to a halt. His mother had given the dog her new toy they bought at the store that day and Blaine was always the first person she came to play with. Blaine was frozen in his spot, desperately hoping that he was completely out of view as the dog continued to squeeze the toy in her mouth.

"Well, hello there."

_Oh no._

"I didn't realize I had an audience."

Blaine was mortified. This was not the introduction he had hoped for. He opened his mouth trying to form some sort of acceptable excuse for his eavesdropping, but the boy was talking again before a sound came out.

"I haven't sung for many dogs, so I'll take the squeaking as a sign of your approval."

Blaine let out the breath he was holding. _He's not talking to me. He doesn't know I'm here._

He heard the boy laugh and then shut his window.

….

Wednesday afternoon, he found himself sitting on the floor, against the wall next to the window. He was reading. Really.

If he happened to overhear more singing, he wouldn't interrupt or complain. But he was reading. Obviously.

He heard the car parking and its occupant enter the house. He smiled to himself because this was silly, really. He didn't even know this boy and here he sat just waiting to eavesdrop on his life.

There was a loud thud of something being dropped or thrown and then nothing for several minutes. Blaine sat with his head against the wall, waiting… waiting.

And then he heard the last thing he expected. Crying.

It got louder until it was obvious the boy was sobbing. Blaine didn't know what to do. Stand up and call across to his window? Go knock on their front door?

_Hi, I'm Blaine and I was being a total creepy eavesdropper and I just so happened to hear you cry and I'm here to help. That would obviously cheer him up._

The boy's cries began to get softer again.

"Kurt? You ok, dude?"

The boy stopped crying and took a few deep breaths before his voice drifted as he left his bedroom and ventured elsewhere in the house.

Blaine's mouth fell open and then he laughed to himself as it came to him.

_**Kurt.**_

….

There were a million thoughts swirling around in his head. It seemed so unlikely. A boy… a voice… a distant memory. That had been a hard year and he'd lost many of those memories, too hurtful to hold on to. But he remembers the voice and he remembers how he felt, and suddenly it doesn't seem like such a distant memory after all.

What are the chances, though, that the boy from his memory was dropped back into his world so casually? And after all this time…

It had to be him. How many boys with his name and that voice could live in this town? He dared not hope, for in the end this could just be his imagination getting away from him. It could be the saddest of coincidences.

But surely fate would not be that cruel.

….

His mind was too preoccupied to allow him to be very productive that afternoon. He excused himself after washing the dinner dishes and retreated back to his room. Too many more days of shutting himself in his room and his mother would likely become concerned.

He lay on the bed, faced turned towards the window, lost in his thoughts. He started to doze when he heard it again. The muffled sounds of someone sniffling. He got out of bed and walked to the window, certain that he was still relatively hidden in the darkness. The boy's cries seemed to increase, though still soft.

Blaine didn't know what to do. Would calling across to the boy be a comfort? This was the second time in a day he'd heard these cries and not the first day he heard of his unhappiness. It's easy to ignore someone else's need when they have someone there to help them. But no one was coming to help this boy tonight and Blaine couldn't close his window and pretend not to hear.

He didn't know why the boy was crying, but he knew the pain that came with tears. He knew how it felt to be alone. But he also knew what it felt like to be comforted.

In that moment, he didn't even think of what he was doing. He just wanted the despondent boy to be ok.

He knelt at the window, leaning forward on the windowsill with his arms crossed. He took a deep breath and began to sing softly.

_Let me be your shelter,_

_Let me be your light._

_You're safe: No one will find you_

_Your fears are far behind you._

He could no longer hear the boy crying, the room completely silent. Blaine rested his chin against his folded arms and listened.

When a response came, it was barely above a whisper.

_All I want is freedom,_

_A world with no more night…_

_And you always beside me_

_To hold me and to hide me…_

In that moment, Blaine wanted to both smile and weep. The boy sounded so broken, nothing like what he'd heard before. But at least he was responding. Small victories. Blaine took a deep breath and continued without thinking.

_Then say you'll share with me _

_One love, one lifetime _

_Let me lead you from your solitude_

_Say you need me with you here, beside you _

_Anywhere you go, let me go too _

_That's all I ask of you . . ._

The silence seemed to settle and Blaine waited for another verse to come from the boy. The noise of someone moving trashcans to the street startled him out of his reverie. The next sound he heard was a window closing.

He picked himself up and crawled into bed. He felt like a fool.

….

He purposely tried to distract himself the next day. He played music, called some of his friends, helped his mom with dinner. There was surprisingly a lot of stuff he could do that kept his mind off certain things and certain people. He didn't venture back into his room until bedtime and before he lay down for the night, he shut the window.

….

On Saturday, his mom had told him to extricate himself from the house for at least an hour while she cleaned. She also said he looked too pale and he needed to get out more. All that did was get him to move from his room to the front porch swing. It was still technically 'out' and it's not like he could just drive himself somewhere. And as the afternoon sun began to dip lower in the sky, he could feel the sunlight on his face and the warmth sent a shiver through his body.

He played fetch with the dog until she got tired and took up residence at his feet. Blaine was swinging lightly, lost in his random musings.

"Hello."

Blaine's head shot up towards the voice. "Hi."

"We haven't had a chance to meet. I'm Kurt."

"I'm Blaine."

"And this beautiful girl must be the cause of all those squeaky noises I hear throughout the day."

"Roxy."

"Excuse me?"

"The dog. Her name is Roxy."

"Homage to Chicago?"

"No, Bryan Ferry actually, but she is quite the partner in crime."

Their silence cut off just a beat short of awkward.

"Can I pet her?"

"Pardon?"

"Your dog. She's a guide dog, right? I've heard you're supposed to ask first."

"Oh, yah, of course."

Kurt came closer to the swing to pet the dog lying at Blaine's feet.

"How did you know she was a guide dog?"

"I've seen you walking with her in her harness. And, well, your mom and my stepmom have talked, so I just know a little bit about you."

"That's embarrassing. And slightly unfair since I did not get to hear anything about you." Blaine blushed slightly after the words left his mouth.

"Trust me, there's not much to know. Kurt Hummel – resident gay kid. Loves Broadway shows, fashion, and sings like a girl."

"Well, now, that's a start. Blaine Anderson – resident blind kid. Loves music in all variations, lacking in the fashion department, but thankfully knows enough Broadway numbers to keep them from taking my gay card away."

They both laughed.

"And for the record, you sing beautifully." Blaine smiled, wishing desperately that he could see Kurt's face in the silence.

"Well, you're not so bad yourself, _Raoul_. And… thank you for that. I had a rough day and it kind of took me by surprise, but it really helped."

Blaine sighed with relief. "I'm glad."

"I have to be going, but it was nice to meet you Blaine. And of course Roxy."

"Uhm, yah, nice to meet you, Kurt."

"I'll see you around."

"Hopefully we can hang out some this summer. I don't have any friends around here, so maybe… if you wanted, I mean…"

Kurt chuckled. "That would be nice. Summer has officially started and I am determined to enjoy it. I'm going shopping tomorrow morning, but maybe coffee when I get home tomorrow afternoon?"

Blaine grinned from ear to ear. "I'll be here."

….

He was being ridiculous and he knew it. This wasn't a date. His neighbor (with the beautiful voice) was going to hang out with him over coffee (just the two of them, not counting Roxy) as a kind gesture because all of his friends were two hours away. So why had he spent the entire morning fretting over what to wear?

He'd had to lock his door after his mom came in for the third time asking why he had half of his clothes strewn about the room. He already told her that he was going for coffee with Kurt. She offered to drive them and that just set off another round of anxiety in him. Blaine just assumed Kurt would drive, but what if he didn't want Roxy in his car?

After trying his 10th outfit, Blaine threw his hands up in frustration and settled on a nice polo and jeans. They were just going for coffee.

He was being ridiculous.

….

When he pulled into his driveway that afternoon, Kurt felt his eyes tear up again when he spotted Blaine sitting on his porch. He was stupid to think that just because school was out for the summer that McKinley's own resident douchbags would leave him alone. He wanted nothing more than to go in and take a shower and ignore the world.

In the middle of the mall's food court, in front of everyone, they had slushied him, Tina, and Mercedes. He seemed to get most of it thanks to Mr. Head Douchbag himself – Dave Kurofsky. He was able to get most of the offending beverage off, but he could still feel the stickiness on his neck and down the front of his shirt.

He sighed and grabbed his bags as he got out of the car and walked next door. Blaine had obviously heard him arrive and was walking down the steps to meet him.

"Hey Kurt!"

"Hey Blaine. I, uh, I don't think we can do coffee today."

Blaine's face morphed from that brilliant smile into one of confusion. "Oh, okay then."

"I'm really sorry, I just had a… a really bad day." Kurt's voice wavered with those last words.

"Are you okay?"

"Yah, it's just… I just need to go inside."

"Well maybe another time then?"

How could someone's voice sound dejected, yet so full of hope at the same time? Blaine had looked so happy when Kurt first walked up and now he just looked disappointed. Maybe the distraction would help to make his day better.

"Actually, can you just give me 30 minutes? Maybe a caffeine fix will help improve things."

There was the smile again. "Yah, definitely, sure. Whatever you need."

Blaine took his place back on the porch swing as Kurt went inside. He dropped his bags in his room and jumped in the shower. It wasn't the best quick change he's ever done, but at least he was rid of the syrupy mess.

He called out to Blaine again as he walked back to the car, blanket in hand. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's fine. So, I'd totally offer to drive, but mom took the car away."

Kurt stared for a moment before he laughed. "Ah, he's got jokes."

"I try. But seriously, is it okay if Roxy comes with us?"

"Of course, just let me put this blanket down over the leather seats." He opened the passenger side rear door and spread the blanket out. "There we go."

"Roxy – up." The dog was in the backseat almost before the command was out.

"Okay, and do you uhh, I mean, should I help you in?"

Blaine smiled. "I think I can get in the car on my own."

"Yah, no, I… right." Kurt fumbled and walked around to get in the driver's side.

….

The ride was relatively quiet – mostly Kurt explaining where they were going, describing the things around them. It was a short drive to the Lima Bean and Kurt commented that it looked pretty busy for a Saturday afternoon. Roxy led Blaine to the door where Kurt was politely holding it open.

"Here, why don't we grab this table and then I'll go grab us some coffees. What do you want?"

"Kurt, I can get my own coffee."

"Of course you can," Kurt shifted awkwardly on his feet. "I just thought since it's so busy then we should grab a table before they're all full."

"Okay then. I'll take a medium drip."

"No bells, whistles? Shots? Whipped cream?"

"I like to keep it simple."

"Okay, here, let me get the chair for you."

Blaine reached over and put his hand on the back of the chair. "Kurt, I've got it. Really," Blaine said sitting down. Roxy settled under the table, her head resting on his foot.

"Yah, okay. Be right back."

When Kurt returned, Blaine grabbed for his coffee to occupy his hands that had gotten surprisingly sweaty while waiting.

"So, Blaine, tell me everything I need to know about you."

"That's asking a lot. You might want to rethink that before I bombard you with random facts about myself that you never wanted to know."

Kurt leaned in and lowered his voice. "I think I can handle it."

Blaine grinned. "Okay, but you have no one to blame but yourself. Born and raised in Lima, my family moved to Columbus when I was seven and then moved back just last year. I'll go back to Columbus in the fall when school starts again. I'm home to spend the summer with my parents. I love cold weather. I love to snuggle. I love the smell of rain. Head rubs make me weak in the knees. I cry at sad movies. I'm ticklish in certain spots. I love animals, as is evidenced by my insanely spoiled dog. Music is my life. And I have an unhealthy obsession with coffee, so thank you for feeding my addiction today." Blaine raised his cup to toast.

Kurt let out a breathy laugh. "Well that is definitely a lot of random information."

"Again, I warned you." Blaine smiled and sipped his coffee. "Your turn."

"I'm slightly less random. I was also born and raised in Lima. Unfortunately, I never got out, but I will once I graduate. I plan to move to New York City where I will become an insanely famous Broadway star. I have a stepbrother who drives me absolutely crazy, a stepmom that I love, and I father that would fight the world for me. I sing in glee club during the school year and spend almost every dollar I have on clothes."

"New York City, eh?"

"Yes, where my fashion and talent can finally be appreciated."

"Have you ever been? I bet it would be amazing to see a Broadway show."

"No. And the closest I've come to a Broadway show is when the touring cast of Wicked came to Columbus."

"Any good? I have the original cast recording."

"It was amazing. The songs and the sets and the costumes—you should've seen it." Kurt took a quick breath. "I mean… not seen it, but been there because that's just a saying and I didn't mean it because you can't see and now I'm totally babbling."

Blaine cocked his head to the side and grinned. "Kurt, you don't have to censor your words around me. I know what you meant. And I can definitely imagine how beautiful it was. I've read the book and memorized all of the songs. It's one of my favorites."

"Okay." Kurt continued to sip nervously at his coffee. "So… you go to school in Columbus? How does that work when your parents live here now?"

"I go to the Ohio State School for the Blind. I board there during the school year and then come home for holidays."

"You just live there? Like alone?"

Blaine chuckled. "No, I have a roommate and there are staff there. Afterall, I'm still not considered an adult, so I doubt they'd let me be alone."

"So you have people to help you with stuff?"

"Uh, yah, when I need it."

"I didn't realize that school had boarding. My school choir performed at a couple schools in Columbus when I was little. That was one of the schools we visited."

"I know."

"Huh?"

Blaine took a long drink of his coffee to stall. "I mean we had lots of choirs come sing at our school and I seem to remember a Lima school being one of them."

"Yah, well, it was such a long time ago anyway. I stopped doing the whole choir thing for a while. It wasn't until high school that I got back into it."

"Why did you stop?"

"I had to help out a lot more at home and then I started having problems at school. When you're already getting teased for your girly voice and lack of friends, you don't really want to give anyone another excuse to pick on you. I wasn't strong enough back then to ignore it."

Blaine pursed his lips and gave a slight nod, but didn't say anything in response.

"Wow, here I am just rambling on again about poor little ol' me."

Blaine furrowed his brow in confusion. "You're allowed to talk about yourself, Kurt. Last time I checked, it's usually a good thing when two people getting to know one another share things about themselves."

"I know. I just didn't want it to seem like I was complaining about my stupid little problems. I mean… there are harder things to cope with other than some idiots teasing you."

"You mean like being blind?"

"Yes. I mean no. I just… ugh." Kurt let out a frustrated sigh. "I just meant that I'm sure you've been through a lot too and had to sacrifice things you've wanted because you're blind."

Blaine still had a look of confusion on his face. "Kurt, I've been through a lot, but who hasn't? Things were hard in the beginning, but once I started to adjust to living without sight, I had a pretty normal childhood all things considered. I can do quite a lot that sighted people can. You're implying that because I'm blind that suddenly I'm not able to do the same things as you. I sing, I play sports, I can go places on my own with Roxy's assistance. I'm not an invalid."

"I wasn't trying to imply that at all. I don't know what kind of childhood you had, I'm just sure it was harder."

"I do things differently, but with most of them I don't know any other way, so it's not harder to me. It's just how I do things. I'm just a normal teenager like you."

"Did I offend you? I told you I didn't mean it like that."

"Maybe we can just go home. I told my mom I wouldn't be gone long."

"No, wait, can we just talk about this?"

"It's fine, Kurt, really. Let's just go." Blaine stood up, Roxy immediately by his side and walked out the door. Kurt followed behind and they quietly got in the car and drove home. When they pulled into the driveway, Kurt reached over and grabbed Blaine's arm.

"Look, Blaine, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to hurt your feelings or say anything to upset you."

"I know, Kurt. But the thing is – when I'm at school, I am very independent. People treat me like everyone else. Out here in the 'real world' I'm just that poor blind kid that can't do anything on his own. And while I do need help with things, I want people to ask me or let me ask them before they automatically jump in and assume I need help."

"Okay, I'm getting that now. But you have to understand that you're the only blind person I know and I don't know how to act around you."

Blaine sighed. "That's just it. I don't want you to have to worry about how to act around me because I'm blind. I want you to just act like you would with anyone else." He stepped out of the car and then opened the door for Roxy. He was already walking up the steps to his house before he even heard Kurt open his car door.

….

It takes two days.

Two days of wallowing in his own self-pity before he feels guilty for neglecting Roxy and drags himself out of his room and to the backyard to get some fresh air. He sits on the step and throws her favorite squeaky ball until his arm aches and she takes the hint and comes to rest next to him, belly on full display begging to be rubbed. Before long she's up and away, no doubt chasing something that caught her eye. He didn't expect that thing to be Kurt.

"Hey girl. Can't sneak up on you can I?"

Roxy returns to Blaine's side and nudges her nose under his arm and he pets her head gently.

"Hey there."

"Hi Kurt."

"So, I heard you out here and I just wanted to come over and drop off my 'I'm-sorry-for-being-an-idiot' cookies. Also known as triple chocolate."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I kind of did. Here." Blaine took the container and set it behind him on the deck. He hears Kurt move closer and sit next to him on the step. "I really am sorry."

"Kurt, you have nothing to apologize for. I completely overreacted and I shouldn't have blown up at you. You were only trying to be helpful and I really could've told you what was bothering me in another way."

"Call it even then?"

"Only if you'll eat an idiot cookie with me."

Kurt laughs and grabs for the container. "I can do that."

"Come on inside. Sounds like we're going to need some milk."

….

Being in Blaine's house is weird. It's the mirror opposite layout of his own and Kurt's first instinct is to run up the stairs and see if the bedroom layout is the same. Instead, he leans against the island countertop and watches Blaine carefully pour two glasses of milk.

They both eat their cookies in silence while Kurt quietly appraises the parts of the house he can see.

"These are really good. Still warm."

"Well, they are the absolute best just after you bake them. After that the chocolate gets a little too hard."

"I guess it's a good thing I happened to be outside with Roxy today."

He blushed, knowing full well it was no coincidence that he came over to find Blaine outside. He'd been trying to work up his nerve to come apologize. He was never good at admitting he was wrong. "This is actually my third batch. I wanted to come apologize the other day after we got back from coffee when I made the first batch."

"Again, no need for apologies. It was a miscommunication."

"I would've come over sooner, but your window was never open. I took it as a sign." _Not that I checked it multiple times, hoping it would be open._

"The only sign there was me acting like a baby holed-up in my room. Open window or not, you're always welcome to come over."

He couldn't help but smile. "Duly noted."

"But now I feel bad that you did all that baking. That's a lot of wasted cookies if they aren't good after they've cooled."

Kurt laughed. "Oh trust me, there's no such thing as wasted food in my house with Finn around. He would eat these things even if they were hard as a rock."

"Brother?"

"Step. But it's nice to have him around. Most of the time at least."

They finished their cookies and milk and Kurt wasn't sure whether to excuse himself or not. They had smoothed things out, but Kurt still didn't know how to act with Blaine. He was so worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, so he welcomed the silence that lingered between them.

"Do you want to hang out and watch a movie?"

"I… yah… we can do that."

He saw Blaine's lip quirk up. "Kurt, you can ask questions you know. I didn't mean to make you think that because I want to be treated like everyone else that I expect you to understand everything about me being blind."

He let out a small sigh of relief. "Okay, but tell me if I ask the wrong thing or say something stupid again. I promise I won't intentionally be disrespectful."

He was babbling again, but he heard Blaine chuckle so he took another breath and stopped himself.

"Okay, so we're going to watch a movie. Do you just listen and make inferences about what you imagine is happening on the screen?"

Blaine considered the question for a moment. "Kind of. The good thing about the movies we have is that they come with what's called a descriptive audio option. So when there's no dialogue, there's a narrator that describes the scene so I can understand it better. But you'd be amazed how much my imagination can put together just with the sound. It might be a little off for you at first though because it will obviously describe things that you can clearly see. Is that okay?"

"That is definitely okay. Bring on the movie."

They wandered into the living room and Kurt settled at one end of the couch. Blaine chose a movie at random since Kurt had no preference. Kurt noticed that each of the DVD boxes had labels on the spine with what he assumed were Braille letters. Blaine sat near the middle of the couch, but still on his own side.

It was a little odd at first having someone describe what was happening when he could also see it. He slouched slightly on the couch, leaning his head against the top of the back cushion. He turned his head to look at Blaine who was intently listening to the movie.

Kurt closed his eyes and let the narration paint the visual in his mind. It wasn't long before he was following along quite well without actually watching the movie. He kept his eyes closed and his head turned towards Blaine for the duration of the movie. It was the best movie he'd seen in a while.

….


	3. Chapter 3

It became an unspoken routine for them. Each day around lunchtime one of them would wander over to the other's house and they would spend the afternoon together. They watched movies, listened to music, read silently sprawled out on the floor.

Kurt taught Blaine about fashion and accessorizing, raiding Blaine's closet and making disapproving noises the entire time. Blaine defended his arsenal of t-shirts and jeans by saying he was used to his school uniform and thus did not need anything fancy to wear. Kurt demanded that they pencil in a shopping trip as soon as possible.

Blaine taught Kurt about the different adaptive devices that helped him utilize the latest trends. Kurt was surprised and a little jealous to see that Blaine had an iPhone, but programmed in his number and told Blaine to prepare himself for random text messages. Blaine showed him how he used a Bluetooth braille display with his laptop, adding Kurt as a friend on Facebook as his 'demonstration.'

In the span of two weeks, they had gone from strangers to being practically attached at the hip. It was a comforting feeling to both of them.

….

"We're going out."

Blaine ran his hand through his curls trying to wake up as he listened to Kurt through the phone. "Excuse me?"

"Today. We're going out. So get up and get dressed and meet me outside in an hour."

"Serious? But my bed is so comfy right now," Blaine whined.

"I don't care. You need to expand your wardrobe beyond raggedy shirts and jeans. And then we'll get lunch. Oh and maybe even a movie. That new Ryan Gosling film just came out."

He groaned at Kurt's chipper tone, but found it impossible to say no. "Fine. See you in an hour."

Blaine dragged himself out of bed and into the shower.

_This will be an interesting day._

….

Blaine was nothing if not punctual. Kurt wandered up to his car where Blaine was casually leaning.

"Are you ready to become the dashing and stylish guy that I know is hiding under those hideous clothes?"

Blaine laughed and shook his head. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret today."

"The only thing you'll regret is not letting me save you from your wardrobe sooner. Now let's go."

They got in the car, Roxy taking her usual perch in the backseat. As Kurt rattled off stores they could visit, he noticed Blaine fidgeting next to him.

"Are you nervous?"

"Maybe."

"What could you possible be nervous about, Blaine?"

Blaine seemed to contemplate the question for a few moments. "It's been a while since I've been out shopping. I told you – I like to keep things simple."

"Trust me. I won't steer you wrong."

Blaine turned towards him and smiled. "Okay."

They pulled up to one of Kurt's favorite stores and they were inside for mere minutes before Kurt had a handful of pieces for Blaine to try on. Unlike many of the things he owned, Kurt looked for conservative yet stylish options that would be easy to change into. Something told him Blaine did not want the bondage jacket with buckles and zippers in the front and back.

Blaine wandered slowly throughout the store, Kurt catching up with him to ask a question here or there – color preference, size, likes and dislikes. His arms were overflowing when he pushed Blaine towards the fitting room. He arranged the clothes into piles: tops, bottoms, and other. Blaine raised an eyebrow at that third category, but went into the dressing room without complaint. Kurt took a seat just outside with Roxy by his side.

"How am I supposed to know what matches with what?"

"How do you normally know how to match things?"

"I put braille labels on the inside tags."

"Okay, well for now just don't worry about it. Let's find things that feel good and look good and then we'll worry about matching them up."

It took some time, but Blaine came out with his first outfit on and Kurt clapped and squealed.

"First outfit and we already have a winner. It looks amazing. How does it feel?"

"The shirt is really soft. And the pants are nice, but they're a little huggy in the butt."

"Oh trust me, Blaine. They're supposed to be like that and your butt looks great in them."

Blaine immediately blushed and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Kurt's face was bright red as well and he was thankful Blaine could not see him in that moment. "I mean… that's the design."

"Got it. Pants that make my butt look great. Let's buy them in every color."

Kurt threw a hanger in his direction. "Next!"

Twelve outfits later (four pants and five shirts that were keepers) and they were headed out. Kurt was tempted to have Blaine change into the gorgeous sapphire button-up and the grey 'butt pants' as Blaine called them, but decided the new outfit could wait until another day. They headed to the café just a few doors down to grab a quick lunch.

The greeting they got was not what they expected. "I'm sorry, sir, but there are no pets allowed in the establishment."

"She's a guide dog."

"Yes, well, perhaps you'd like to sit on the patio then."

"Why would we need to sit out there when there are plenty of tables in here?" Kurt's limited restraint was obvious.

"I just thought… with the dog…" The young hostess stumbled over her words.

"The patio will be fine. It's a beautiful day," Blaine said with a smile.

"Blaine, they can't make us sit out there."

"I know. It's just not worth the fight. I'm sure they very rarely see a blind person in here, let alone one with a guide dog. It's Lima, Kurt. I'm used to things like this."

"That doesn't make it right."

"I know. I just want to continue having a nice day."

After they sat and ordered, the tension was gone and they were back to making jokes about Blaine's poor attempt at a runway walk back at the store.

"Thanks for getting me out today. This is nice."

Kurt beamed. "It is. I'm glad you're having a good time."

"So, what's next? A movie?"

"Yah, if you're up to it. The theaters here don't have the narration like your home movies, but I'll be your own personal narrator."

Blaine smirked. "That should be interesting."

They finished their lunch and got their waitress to reluctantly bring out a bowl of water for Roxy.

Kurt noticed some odd looks once they got to the movie theater, but he made no mention of it to Blaine.

….

Kurt guided him to their seats and Roxy settled in her normal spot at his feet. When the movie started, Blaine could feel Kurt lean over to him. The warm breath on his neck was startling at first.

"Mr. Anderson, I will be your personal narrator for this movie. If at any time you would like to discontinue this narration, please notify me immediately. I will warn you ahead of time that I won't describe any sex scenes or anything I deem to be inappropriate merely for the fact that I would feel like a perv whispering that in your ear."

They both laughed and Blaine nodded. "Understood, but if Ryan Gosling is at any point naked or semi-naked, I demand that you at least describe that. If you can talk about my butt, you can surely talk about his."

"Deal."

True to his word, Kurt explained everything happening outside of the dialogue to help Blaine imagine the full movie. Thankfully, the theater was mostly empty, so when they dissolved in a fit of giggles after Kurt described Ryan Gosling's bare chest nobody shushed them.

As the movie continued on, Blaine found himself far too distracted by Kurt's proximity. The warm words whispered into his ear. The firm shoulder pressed against his own. Blaine's not entirely sure what happened in the last thirty minutes of the movie.

As they walked back to Kurt's car, Blaine hears someone yell 'hey fag' and Kurt bristles beside him. Kurt grabs his shirt sleeve and mumbles to walk faster, but before they get to the car there are several voices very close to them.

"Why so quick to run Hummel? We haven't seen you in days. Did we scare you off from the mall?"

Blaine isn't sure who these people are, but he can hear at least three voices and Kurt has gone completely quiet.

"You got nothing to say, huh? What about your boyfriend here? And what's up with the dog."

"Dude, I think he's blind."

The original voice lets out a boisterous laugh. "You've gotta be shittin' me. You had to go out and get a blind boyfriend because nobody else would ever want you."

"Look guys, I'm not sure who you are, but I'm blind - not deaf, so feel free to address me directly. It's obvious from your limited vocabulary and severely lacking social skills that you're not here to discuss anything that could possibly interest us. So Kurt and I are going to continue on our way and you can feel free to act like idiots elsewhere."

Blaine felt someone push into his personal space and Roxy growled. "I don't know who you are dumbass, but nobody tells me what to do."

The body was pushed away and he could hear Kurt who was now standing directly in front of him. "Get off, Karofsky. Go find some women to beat over the head and drag back to your cave."

Blaine heard the group make a few more snide comments as Kurt grabbed him by the arm and led them to the car. The drive home was completely silent and Blaine briefly wondered if this was how all of their outings were going to end.

They parked and Kurt grabbed Blaine's shopping bags, following him up the steps to his house. "Just set them inside. I'll take them up later."

Kurt did as asked without saying a word. In fact, he hadn't said a word since they left the movie theater parking lot.

"Come sit with me on the porch swing?"

Kurt didn't reply, but Blaine felt the added weight on the swing as he sat down.

"Want to tell me who those guys were?"

Kurt let out a short, bitter laugh. The silence stretched on for minutes and Blaine could almost hear the gears turning in Kurt's head.

"Why didn't you ever ask me why I was crying that night?"

"Pardon?"

"That night… when you sang. I assume it was because you heard me crying. But you never asked why."

"As someone who's been pushed his entire life to open up and talk about his feelings, I thought it best to let you talk when you were ready. I just wanted to be here for you whenever that time came."

Kurt's breathing became short and stuttered and Blaine realized he was crying.

"Kurt…"

"Those are homophobic jocks from my school. I'm the only openly gay kid at my school and they've made it their life's mission to make me miserable."

Now that he was talking, the words were coming out as if Kurt couldn't stop if he tried, so Blaine just listened.

"And nobody cares. They pretend not to see when I'm shoved into lockers or thrown into dumpsters. That day I came home crying, they spray painted 'FAG' on my locker and it just felt like the last straw."

Kurt was nearly gasping for breath, his tears coming too quickly.

"And then that night this incredible voice came wafting in my window and I sang back without thinking. Then I was scared because I thought 'people don't just burst into song with strangers' so I closed the window. But when it comes down to it, you were the first person in a really long time to notice and even care."

"I'm sorry all of this happened. You don't deserve it."

"Yah, well, they didn't get the memo."

"Does this happen a lot?"

"It happens almost daily at school. I thought it was over at least for the summer, but I was obviously wrong there. The day we went for coffee, the reason that I almost cancelled was because they slushied me and my friends at the mall. Dozens of people standing around and no one did a thing."

Blaine reached over and gripped Kurt's shoulder lightly. "I wish I could make it better."

Kurt sniffed and seemed to be collecting himself. He stood and moved to sit on the porch railing. "Let's just forget them. I don't want the day ruined because of them."

Blaine sighed, not wanting to push the matter. Another time perhaps.

"Well I must say, I had quite the delightful time today."

"Delightful? Really Blaine?"

"What? It was. I have fun no matter what we do, but today was a treat."

"I'm glad. Hopefully the first of many."

He couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Absolutely."

….

It was nice finally having a friend to talk to. Sure, he still had his lady chats with Finn and he saw Rachel and Mercedes on the weekends. But he felt like Blaine understood him. And he never felt judged or stupid or like he needed to hide who he was. It was a comfort. Kurt knew he was getting attached and his biggest fear was that Blaine would go back to school in August and forget about him. Kurt spent his life waiting to be hurt.

….

Blaine was thankful, but scared. Aside from his family and the people at his school, he wasn't close with any sighted people. Especially not any that were his age.

It's like living in a bubble your entire life and then suddenly leaving the confines of that bubble and being so afraid of what might happen without that comforting familiarity.

But Kurt was comfort. Blaine couldn't imagine this boy ever hurting him.

….

"So what's going on with this neighbor kid, Kurt?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look up or set down his magazine. "We're friends, Dad. He doesn't have any friends here and I don't have a lot of friends anyway and we get along."

"That it? You're spending an awful lot of time over there and Carol says when you ain't over there then he's over here."

"Those are two very accurate observations."

"Hey, come on, I'm trying to talk to you, kiddo."

Kurt put the magazine down and sat up on the couch. "Look Dad, we're friends. I like spending time with Blaine and he likes spending time with me. Carol has met him and can vouch that he's a nice guy."

"What do you guys get up to over at his house?"

"Dad! Nothing! We listen to music and watch movies. His mom is usually there, but it's not like we'd be doing anything else if she wasn't."

"How's a blind kid watch movies?"

Kurt rubbed his temple. "Do you really want to know or are you just trying to be nosey?"

"It ain't being nosey when you're interested in what your kid is doing with another boy all day every day."

"Well feel free to stay home tomorrow so you can meet him and watch us do some pretty scandalous things like read the latest Vogue and gossip about celebrities. If he comes over here, he may even take off his shoes and I'll get to see his sexy ankles." He picked up his magazine again to hide the small blush that was actually beginning to sprout on his cheeks. He'd never really paid attention to Blaine's ankles, but just describing any part of him as sexy in front of his father made him embarrassed.

"Don't go gettin' snippy. Besides, Carol already invited them over for dinner tonight, so I'll just meet him then."

"What?" Kurt squeaked, tossing the magazine aside.

"They should be here in about an hour."

Kurt looked at his father who had a curious smirk on his face. "Fine. I'll go help Carol with dinner then."

Kurt walked into the kitchen and saw Carol putting a casserole in the oven. "I understand we're having guests this evening."

"Oh, yes, I invited the Andersons over. Your father thought it would be a good idea."

"Well, what can I do to help then?"

"Nothing, dear. The casserole is baking and the salad is already made in the fridge.

Carol went about cleaning her mess in the kitchen and Kurt stalked up to his room. He flung his window open and sat on the windowsill.

"Blaine!"

He yelled three times with no response, so he went to change his clothes and wait. They had just hung out that afternoon and Blaine had to leave early because he said his parents were taking him to dinner. Apparently, neither of them knew the dinner was to be at the Hudson-Hummel residence.

At 6:30, the doorbell rang and Kurt practically hurled himself down the stairs, but found his dad there already opening the door.

"Come in, come in. I'm Burt."

"Nice to meet you, Burt. I'm James and you already know my lovely wife Christina. And of course this is our son, Blaine."

Blaine held his mother's arm, but smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel."

"Nice to meet you too, kid, but call me Burt."

Kurt walked the final few steps down the stairs as the Andersons came in. "Hi Mr. Anderson. I'm Kurt. It's nice to finally meet you."

James Anderson smiled tightly at Kurt. "Yes, yes. Nice to meet you."

Carol came around the corner and ushered them into the dining room. Dinner was almost ready.

Blaine let go of his mother when Kurt approached him. "So, going out to dinner with your parents?"

"Kurt, I'm just as surprised as you are. I just thought it was because my dad got off early. I had no idea we were coming over here."

Kurt followed the group into the dining room, Blaine not far behind.

….

The dinner seemed to be going along quite well. The casserole was delicious, his mother had chatted almost non-stop with Kurt's stepmother, and even his father seemed to find common conversational territory with Burt. He had been sat opposite of Kurt, so they couldn't whisper conspiratorially.

A door slamming and a boy rushing in drew Blaine's attention away from pushing his food around his plate nervously.

"Finn, we thought you wouldn't make it."

"Sorry, mom. It's Puck's big weekend and we got carried away shopping for stuff."

The boy sat across the table next to Kurt, and quickly got the introductions around the table.

"Hey, dude. Nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

There was a pause and Blaine realized that Finn had been addressing him. "Oh, yes, of course. You too. I mean, I've heard a lot about you too."

"Did you bring your dog? Kurt said you've got an awesome seeing eye dog."

"No, she's at home. I don't need her in places that I know the layout and I've been over here quite a bit."

That sounded awkward, even to Blaine, and the silence afterward only made it worse.

"Bummer. I like dogs."

Blaine couldn't help but chuckle. Finn was just as random as Kurt had described him.

"So, Blaine, have you begun applying for any colleges yet?"

He set his fork down and turned towards Carol. "No, ma'am, not yet. I've started researching different places though."

His mother spoke up. "He's hoping for Juilliard. He's quite skilled with a number of musical instruments, but piano is his best."

"You didn't tell me you were thinking of applying to Juilliard." Kurt sounded confused.

"It's just a thought. I don't even know if I would get in."

"Yes, it's a very difficult school to get into." Blaine was surprised to hear his father join the conversation. "Besides, Blaine needs to focus on his senior year of high school and think about what would be the most realistic option for him when it comes to higher learning. Moving to New York with his… affliction… would not be easy. He would probably be better suited staying close to home."

Blaine slouched slightly in his chair. This was not a conversation he wanted to have here and now.

"Actually most large schools in major cities like New York offer accommodations to assist those that need them. And it would be a shame to waste a talent like that by not even trying." Kurt spoke with a defiant air about him, but was not disrespectful. Blaine's heart swelled a little with the support.

"Yah, Kurt here's looking at New York also. I think he's pretty much researched every school down to the tiniest detail."

When Burt spoke about Kurt, it was like every word was in support and full of love. It didn't matter what they were talking about.

Talk of school seemed to end there and thankfully Carol saved the evening by announcing dessert. Finn cheered as if he'd just won a prize, while everyone else silently fidgeted.

Blaine loved his dad, but sometimes he was thankful that he wasn't around very much. Blaine somehow always felt like a disappointment.

….

The next day, Kurt knocked lightly before letting himself into the Anderson home.

"Up here!"

He followed the voice to Blaine's room and saw the mess of books spread out.

"What are you doing?"

"Alphabetizing my bookshelf."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Don't judge. It was hard to find what I was looking for before and now it will be so much better."

He laughed, but settled on the floor near Blaine.

"So… Juilliard? Why didn't you saying something? You've listened to me babble about New York for weeks now."

"It's just a thought. My mom is really encouraging me to apply, but I'm sure the competition would crush me. Besides, you heard my dad. It's not realistic. And it's expensive. And it's so far away. And…"

Kurt covered Blaine's mouth with his hand. "Stop it."

He stared at Blaine, unmoving and unsure what to say or do next.

"Oh my god!" Kurt snatched his hand back. "Did you really just lick me?"

Blaine's face burst into the biggest smile he'd ever seen.

"You are gross, Blaine Anderson." Gross wasn't really how he was feeling though.

"But seriously. Don't let your father talk you out of something you might want. Besides, I did some searching online last night and they offer financial aid, on-campus housing. They even won some breaking barriers award for hiring visually impaired staff."

"You researched Juilliard for me?"

"Of course. I would've done it a long time ago if you'd actually told me you were interested in going there."

Blaine smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"Let's get these books cleaned up and then we can go online some more."

They rearranged the books how Blaine wanted them and then started looking on the internet for piano pieces that Blaine could include in his audition.

"So, some of my friends are getting together this weekend for a barbecue. You know – lots of meat, probably some drinking, and fireworks."

"Oh yah?" Blaine turned away from his computer towards Kurt.

"And I was wondering if you wanted to go? With me…"

"I sort of figured it would be with you. Ya know, them being _your_ friends and all."

Kurt huffed in annoyance, but then felt unsure of himself. "So…?"

"That could be fun. I've never met any of your friends."

"Well, they're pretty much accusing me of making you up since we've yet to hang out with them."

"Oh. So I'm your dirty little secret?

Kurt smiled at the joke, but there was something in Blaine's voice that hinted at another emotion Kurt couldn't pinpoint.

"Not a secret. I just don't like to share."

Blaine laughed. "Now I'm a possession?"

"You're so difficult. Yes or no? It's Saturday at 3."

"I would be delighted to accompany you, Kurt."

"That's more like it."

….

For the first time in days, Blaine was without his furry companion.

"Where's Roxy?"

"I thought I'd leave her home today since we'll be at your friend's house. If you don't mind leading me and helping me get around, that would just be a lot easier."

"Yah, definitely. I mean, no big deal. I can do that."

When they got to Puck's, Kurt was by Blaine's side as soon as he was out of the car.

"So, do you want me to lead you by the shoulder? Or how would this work best."

"Actually if I could just hold on to your arm, that would be fine. And tell me if we get to any steps or obstacles."

Blaine extended his arm and Kurt quickly sidled up next to him. He gripped Kurt's inner arm, just above the elbow, and moved close enough for Kurt to feel his body heat. "Lead on."

Kurt walked right in, knowing full well that everyone would be out back and wouldn't hear even if he did knock. They walked slowly through the house and Kurt felt Blaine's grip tighten momentarily when they heard voices calling out and heading their direction. "Are you okay?"

Blaine nodded. "Nervous."

"Don't be. Trust me – they'll love you."

"Well, well. It's about time you got here. I was about to come drag your butt out of your house!"

"Mercedes, it takes a long time to look this summer chic."

"And this must be the infamous Blaine," Rachel said stepping directly in front of the boy. "I understand that you are quite the pianist. As a fellow lover of all things musical, I want to make sure that you enjoy yourself today. And even though you can't see, I hope you'll stay long enough to at least hear me display some of my talent. You won't get the full effect without the visual, but I assure you my voice is the most important thing."

"Thirty seconds in and its already awkward. Thank you, Rachel. So, yes, Blaine – this is Rachel and Mercedes."

Blaine still had a blank expression on his face. "Nice to meet you both."

"And now we're moving along," Kurt said putting his hand over Blaine's where it rested in the crook of his elbow. "See you girls later."

As they opened the patio door to walk outside, Kurt nearly slammed directly into Brittany.

"Oh, Kurtie, I didn't see you there." She leaned in closer to whisper to Kurt, but anyone within five feet could've heard her. "And he can't see me, right?"

Kurt played along and whispered loudly back. "That is correct, Brittany. This is Blaine and he's blind. Would you like to meet him?"

Brittany beamed and nodded.

"Blaine, I'm sure you didn't notice, but Brittany is here now. Brittany, this is Blaine."

"It's nice to meet you, Brittany."

"Can you swim if you can't see? Santana said we are definitely swimming later and I brought extra floaties if you need them."

Blaine finally smiled. "I appreciate it, but I'll probably stay out this time around."

Brittany shrugged and seemed to remember she was heading into the house before being stopped by the two boys.

"Sorry about that. Brittany's a little… special."

"She seemed nice."

Everyone was slightly intrigued with Blaine. The girls teased Kurt about how cute Blaine was and that they should definitely be boyfriends. The boys quickly warmed up to Blaine when he started playing Puck's guitar and joked that they should start a band.

There was more food than the group could possibly ever eat, quite a bit of alcoholic drink available as well – thought both Kurt and Blaine politely declined. When the group started another rousing game of Marco Polo in the pool, Blaine asked Kurt if he wanted to find some place quieter to get away from the madness for a bit.

Kurt led them back through the house and into the front yard.

"Stay here for a second." Kurt rushed off for a minute, returning triumphantly with the blanket from his car. He spread it out on the grass and they both lay on their backs enjoying the cooling air as the sun began to set.

"Sorry, I just needed to get away. They're a boisterous bunch."

"No, it's fine. I needed a break also. Besides, it's a beautiful evening."

"Tell me what it looks like."

Kurt turned his head to glance at Blaine before looking back up to the sky. "It looks like the sky is on fire. Orange bleeding into pink. There are just a handful of clouds catching the last direct sunlight." A light breeze blew over them as they lay in silence. "The sky is turning purple now, almost all of the light gone. You can only see a few stars, still not quite dark enough, but the moon is full."

"Beautiful," Blaine whispered. Kurt looked back at him and his eyes were closed with just the hint of a smile. Something in the way Blaine looked, lying there under the fading light of the sun and the rising light of the moon, made Kurt feel brave. He slowly inched his hand towards Blaine's, resting by his side on the blanket. Kurt ran his fingers lightly over Blaine's knuckles before grabbing his hand. Blaine stretched his fingers out and for the briefest second Kurt was terrified that he was drawing his hand away. But Blaine just interlocked their fingers and let out a contented sigh.

….

Things were going to be weird. Kurt just knew that when Blaine came over, it was going to be awkward between them. They held hands while lying on a blanket under the stars two nights ago, drove home in relative silence, and said a simple goodnight. Kurt had done this before – crushing on someone that just wanted to be his friend. He worried that this was starting to become a pattern.

….

Blaine let himself in as usual and headed up to Kurt's room. He heard the shuffling coming from the direction of Kurt's closet.

"Kurt?"

"Hey Blaine, come in. I'm reorganizing some stuff."

"Didn't you just do that like two weeks ago?"

"One can never be too organized, Blaine. You of all people should know that."

"Well take a break and come here." Blaine kicked off his shoes and sat on the bed, back against the headboard. "I brought you the latest edition of French Vogue."

Kurt's voice got closer. "You got it for _me_?"

"Of course. I know there's nowhere to buy it around here, so I ordered a subscription online after you talked about it a couple weeks ago."

"But you don't understand French. Why would you spend the money?"

Blaine shrugged. "You like it and I like how it sounds even if I can't understand it. So stop fiddling around in your closet and come read something to me."

The bed dipped slightly and Kurt took the magazine out of his hands. "I can't believe you bought this."

Kurt's voice was quiet, disbelieving. Had no one ever done something nice for Kurt just because? Blaine saddened at the thought.

"So… am I going to get to hear about French fashion or what?"

….

Kurt ran his fingers over the cover. Such a simple thing – a magazine – but one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him. Blaine had listened to him, remembered a mundane comment. Blaine had _heard_ him.

"Yah, sorry." Kurt flipped through to the first article and began to read. "Tandis que sa silhouette tirée, châle de fourrure, et sac distingué harken de nouveau à une autre ère, elle le maintient moderne en utilisant le lacet de la tête à l'orteil (tout à fait littéralement avec une prise complètement fraîche sur la botte) et aux bijoux francs et vrille-libres."

"You could be describing paint drying on a wall and it would sound beautiful in French."

"Well, no paint here, just lacey boots and fur shawls. Apparently, the latest trends."

Kurt continued to read, stumbling over a word or two he wasn't familiar with. Blaine didn't seem to want or care about a translation, his head cocked as he listened intently.

"Some of these models look tragic. Seriously. There's maybe one hot guy in here for every ten ugly ones."

Kurt was startled by the hand on his shoulder. "Hey Kurt, can I ask you something?"

"Of course. You know that."

"What do I look like? I mean, to you."

"What? You look… I don't know what kind of answer you're looking for, Blaine."

"No, I'm not trying to get you to say something specific. I guess I just want to hear from someone other than my mother what I look like. When you're blind, people don't really talk a lot about appearance. I know I'm no Vogue model - just describe me."

Kurt's throat went dry suddenly, so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Or the right thing. Or being embarrassed in general.

"Okay. Um, well you're quite vertically challenged and you are definitely not using the right conditioner for your hair type."

Blaine hit him with the pillow. "Be serious!"

Kurt turned his body so he was facing him. "Fine, no more jokes." He cleared his throat and just stared for a few moments. "This might be the weirdest thing someone has ever asked me to do though, so don't judge me."

"Not asking for a dissertation here, Kurt, just what you see."

"Fine." Kurt wiped his hands on his knees. _When did they get so sweaty? _"You have kind of an olive skin tone. And you have dark brown hair, lots of curls, but you hide them under all of the gel. And we totally need to have a side conversation about that because really, Blaine, it's not supposed to be plastered to your head." They both smiled and Kurt took a deep breath as he continued. "And after a long day or if you've been laying down, some of the curls start to rebel and curl again. You have a strong jawline, and um, pink full lips. Your nose is a little big, but it fits well on your face. Your eyes are hazel-ish. In here they look brown, but when we're outside they are lighter, more golden. You have a small scar just above your eyebrow." Kurt stared at the scar for a minute and started to raise his hand to touch, but stopped himself. "You have the longest eyelashes that I've ever seen. And then of course I can't forget your crazy triangular eyebrows."

Blaine smiled and shook his head.

"Your best feature is your smile. When it's a genuine smile, it lights up your whole face. Your eyes get all crinkly and you look adorable."

The smile on Blaine's face got even bigger. It was infectious.

"I sound like quite the looker with my big nose, triangle eyebrows, and helmet hair."

Kurt huffed. "That's not exactly how I described it."

Blaine reached out and rubbed his knee. "I know."

Kurt's heart was fluttering, staring down at the hand.

"Okay, now you."

"Excuse me?"

"Tell me what you look like."

"You already know. Brown hair, blue eyes, a little taller than you, pale. What more could you possibly want to know?"

"Seriously? That's all I get?"

"Yes, I don't know what else you want."

"You just talked about every detail on my face and then you describe yourself as brown hair, blue eyes, taller, and pale?"

"Well, that's how I see myself."

"Can I touch your face?"

"Touch my…? But, what, why?"

"I want to know more about what you look like. Touching helps me to envision it when I can feel the grooves and dips and structure. You can say no. I don't want you to feel pressured – some people are weird about it so I don't ask often."

"I… okay." Skincare regime be damned. He never let anyone touch his face. He never really let anyone _touch_ him. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing."

Blaine scooted a little closer so their knees bumped. He reached out and placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt immediately tensed. "That's not my face."

"Well, I would hope not. Just need a point of reference to start."

He took a deep breath and tried to relax.

Blaine's hands skimmed up the side of his neck and fingertips traced along his jaw and then further up his hairline. "Can I touch your hair?"

_No, no, definitely not, no._ "Yes."

Blaine's hands threaded through Kurt's hair and for the first time he actually didn't care that his hair was being messed up. "Tell me about your hair again and don't just say brown."

The fingers continued to comb slowly back through his hair. "It's kind of a chestnut brown, some golden highlights in the sun. I part it to the side and use some product to give it volume."

The hands moved down from Kurt's hair, thumbs tracing over his forehead and eyebrows. "Now your eyes."

"They're uh, blue mostly. But sometimes they're a little green or gray. They change with the light. Mercedes says they change with my mood." He closed his eyes and felt the feather light touch over his eyelashes. Blaine held Kurt's face in his hands, thumbs stroking over his cheeks and then one finger drawing down the bridge of his nose. Blaine's hands were so soft. The hand still cradling his face moved to hold his jaw and a thumb slowly began to trace an outline of his mouth. Kurt fought the urge to lick his lips.

The thumb moved over each lip, top and then bottom. And then it ran again over his bottom lip. "Say something else in French," Blaine whispered.

Kurt was so focused on keeping his breathing steady that he said the first thing that came to mind. "Tu me rends heureux."

….

Blaine kept his thumb lightly on Kurt's lower lip as he spoke, the warm breath sending a shiver through his body. He dragged his finger down slowly, pulling Kurt's dry lip lower so his lips stayed parted. His hand slid over to cradle Kurt's neck and before he knew it he was leaning forward. Their lips hovered so close for mere seconds before Kurt leaned up to close the gap. Blaine could feel so much – the soft hair at the base of Kurt's neck as he pulled him up so they were both kneeling. The soft lips against his own. The warm breath as Kurt gasped when Blaine pressed their chests together. And the heat of Kurt's mouth as the kiss deepened, their tongues both slowly gaining confidence. Blaine pulled back for air, placing one more small kiss on Kurt's lips.

"I should've let you touch my face a long time ago," Kurt said breathlessly.

"I should've asked a long time ago." Blaine smiled and leaned forward again to claim Kurt's lips.

….


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, tell us again about the kiss."

He knew his face was plastered with a dopey grin, but he couldn't help it. "It was perfect. He has the softest lips and strong hands and he just kissed me senseless."

Rachel and Mercedes both squealed as Kurt blushed with the memory of the previous day's events. Blaine had left with his mom that afternoon to go to Columbus for a couple days to visit his friends, so Kurt had called for an emergency sleepover at Rachel's.

"He seems like a nice guy and he looks like a Disney prince. But he better treat you right."

"Of course he'll treat him right, Mercedes. This is Kurt's first boyfriend!"

Kurt's smile faltered for the first time that night.

"He is your boyfriend, right Kurt?"

"I don't know. We didn't talk about it. Is there a protocol for this?"

"Normally one person just asks the other. He didn't ask you?"

"No!" Kurt squeaked.

"That's ok, you can just ask him." Rachel reached over to her nightstand and pulled out a notepad. "Let's plan this out."

"Seriously, Rachel? The boy doesn't need a plan to say 'hey will you be my boyfriend?'"

"Maybe I'll just text him. He's not going to be home until the day after tomorrow." Kurt pulled out his phone and started composing a text. He paused and then set his phone down again. "I can't just lead with that question."

"Fine, start simple."

Kurt picked his phone up again.

**Kurt**

_Hey_

**Blaine**

_Hi Kurt_

**Kurt**

_Are you having fun?_

**Blaine**

_Lots. Hanging with my friends. They all say hi._

**Kurt**

_Should I avoid saying anything embarrassing?_

**Blaine**

_Yes. Left my earphones at my aunt's house. Don't spill any secrets._

**Kurt**

_I wouldn't dream of it. Have fun. I'll see you when you get home._

**Blaine**

_See you soon_

Kurt set his phone down with a sigh.

"So?"

"I didn't ask. He's with his friends and can't listen to his texts privately and that might be super awkward if his friends heard."

Rachel picked up her notepad again. "Then might I suggest we go back to planning the event for when Blaine returns?"

Mercedes threw a pillow at her. "Stop. It's not that serious. Kurt will talk with his boy when he gets home."

Kurt chuckled with them, but he still wondered what he would say to Blaine. He'd never had a boyfriend before. He didn't know if Blaine even wanted to be his boyfriend. Maybe it was just a kiss and Blaine would go back to his school in the fall and Kurt would be alone again. He didn't sleep much that night.

….

He'd managed to distract himself with cooking, organizing, and further researching his college options. Carol thought Kurt was manic, but she didn't question it because the linen closet had never been neater.

When the Andersons returned home, Kurt heard them laughing as they entered the house. It was 3:18pm. He would wait for Blaine to call or text or come over.

At 3:52pm, Kurt went into the backyard to make sure he was getting a signal on his cell phone. Sometimes he lost bars in the house.

At 4:25pm, he knocked on the Andersons' door. Mrs. Anderson opened it with a smile. "Kurt, honey. Blaine's upstairs in his room. Can you let him know I'm going to run some errands? I'll be back in a couple hours."

He nodded and took the stairs two at a time, but then paused outside of the door and took a few deep breaths. Why was he freaking out?

The door was halfway open, so he lightly knocked as he pushed his way in. "Blaine?"

He heard a groan and saw Blaine sprawled face down on the bed. His bag was dropped in the middle of the floor, one shoe still on, the other kicked into the corner. Kurt laughed at the sight.

"Hmm?"

"Hey, sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping. I'll come back."

"Kurt? No, c'mere."

Blaine sat up and started to run his hand through his hair. He winced when he felt the hard gel and dropped his hand to his side.

Kurt walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Long day?"

"Yah, I was going to come over once we got home, but traveling always makes me sleepy and I think I tried to cram too much into the short time we were in Columbus. I came in here and I guess just passed out."

Blaine reached out his hand and Kurt readily grabbed it. "I can let you get back to your nap. I'm just glad you're home."

"I'm awake now, don't leave."

Kurt felt butterflies in his stomach. He opened his mouth to ask serious questions and then snapped it shut. Maybe he should've let Rachel plan this out for him.

"Okay, what should we do today?"

"We can do whatever you want to do, Kurt."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. "Oh yah? Anything?"

"Sure, why not."

"There's something I've been wanting to do for so long now."

Blaine smirked and cocked his head. "This could be dangerous."

….

"Oh my goooooood. Please don't stop."

Blaine decided in that moment that Kurt's hands were magical.

"Shh, you sound so obscene."

"My mom's not home, I don't care. That feels sooooo good, Kurt."

Blaine's legs felt like jelly.

"No, come on, Blaine. Lean forward on your knees some more."

"You have no idea how good this feels."

"Well, we're done now, so stand up."

Kurt's hands were off him now and he turned his head to the side with a pout, water running across his face and down his neck.

"Seriously, you're going to drip all over the place." Kurt wrapped the towel around Blaine's head and helped him stand. He resumed massaging softly through the towel to help dry his hair.

"Mmmm."

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"I told you head massages make me weak in the knees."

"Well, I wasn't so much going for a massage as I was trying to get rid of the entire bottle of gel you had in your hair."

"I think it's funny that with an infinite number of options, you chose washing my hair as what you wanted to do today."

"I'm saving you from yourself. You know this, right?"

"If this is what I get for wearing so much gel, I will be ordering cases of it this evening."

Blaine sat on his bed and smiled and hummed to himself as Kurt ran his fingers through his hair to blow dry it.

"Much better! Here is where you would use the tiniest bit of product to help define the curls and prevent them from getting unruly. We'll go shopping tomorrow for new hair products for you."

Blaine didn't respond, just sat there with a goofy grin. He was so relaxed and happy.

He felt the bed dip next to him as Kurt sat down. Kurt took his hand and that made him smile even more.

"Blaine? I wanted to ask you something."

He furrowed his brow at Kurt's hesitant tone.

"You can ask me anything."

Kurt sighed and squeezed his hand. "So, what are we to you?"

"Huh?"

"You and me. What do you think we are? I mean, I don't normally hold hands and kiss people that are just my friends, but we never talked about it after and then I wanted to text you and ask but you were with your friends…"

Blaine reached up and put a finger to Kurt's lips. "I don't normally hold hands or kiss my friends either. I was hoping you'd be my boyfriend."

Kurt let out a deep sigh and loosened his death grip on Blaine's hand. "I was hoping you would say that. I've never had a boyfriend before."

"Me neither. I didn't really know how all of this worked." He laughed and rubbed his thumb along Kurt's knuckles. "Will you go steady with me, Kurt Hummel?"

"Oh my god, you are ridiculous. Would you just kiss me already?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Who says 'go steady' anymore? But yes, I will be your boyfriend."

Kurt leaned forward and placed a small kiss at the corner of Blaine's mouth. Blaine reached his free hand up and grabbed the back of Kurt's neck to pull him in for another kiss. Their lips met again for a sweet kiss that lingered, but then Blaine was licking Kurt's lips to get more. Kurt opened willingly and they both shivered as their tongues touched. Blaine moved forward, guiding Kurt's head to the pillow and swinging his legs up so they were lying fully on the bed, never breaking the kiss. Blaine groaned as Kurt's hand began running through his curls again. He hovered over Kurt, moving his head to kiss Kurt harder. When he pulled away slightly to take a breath, he nipped at Kurt's lower lip, eliciting a whimper from the boy. Blaine lowered his body onto Kurt's, sucking in a sharp breath when he could feel Kurt hard beneath him. He rocked forward once and Kurt broke the kiss to let out a noise of surprise.

"Too much?"

"No. Oh god, do that again."

Blain moved his head down to kiss Kurt's neck, slowly rolling his hips, the pressure on both their cocks sending waves of pleasure through their bodies. He felt Kurt's arms come around him as if trying to hold on. Blaine continued to suck the same spot on Kurt's neck, his hips moving faster. Kurt mewled, grappling at Blaine's back. Blaine brought his lips back up to hover just over Kurt's and whispered, "you're so amazing." And that was it. He felt Kurt tense beneath him, his breathing stopped, and then he was almost shaking.

"Blaine…"

The sound of his own name from his boyfriend's mouth as he came sent Blaine over the edge also. They lay there for a minute, breathing heavily against one another, before Blaine turned over on his side, pulling Kurt closer to him.

"I can't believe we just did that. Your mom could've come home at any minute."

"You just had an orgasm and you're thinking about my mom?"

"Well, now I'm thinking about the stickiness in my pants." Kurt started to get out of bed, but Blaine's arms tightened and drew him closer.

"You're ruining my afterglow."

The silence lingered between them; Kurt not quite relaxed in Blaine's arms. "I've never done that before."

Blaine kissed his shoulder. "I didn't exactly plan for that to happen this afternoon. Did we move too fast for you?"

"No, I just… it's new. It's all new. And I want to try everything with you. Not today obviously, but in time."

"Do you have any idea how wonderful you are?" Blaine burrowed his face into the side of Kurt's neck and hugged him closer.

"You're like a puppy."

"Cuddle with your puppy boyfriend for a minute, please."

He felt Kurt relax against him. "Okay, but just for a minute."

They were both asleep before the minute was up.

….

They sat on the porch swing, the light trickle of rain providing the soundtrack to the cool afternoon. Blaine sat on one end reading his final school book for the summer, Kurt on the other end reading his Vogue, socked feet meeting in the middle.

Blaine had been abnormally quiet all day, but Kurt chalked it up to the weather. He kept sneaking glances up from his magazine, sure that Blaine would somehow know he was looking.

"You okay over there?"

"Mmhmm," he responded without looking up.

"You sure? Because you've been on that same page for 20 minutes."

Blaine sighed and closed the book. "Sorry, my mind is just elsewhere today."

Kurt regarded him carefully. There was a confused look on his face. "Want to talk about it? I've heard I'm a pretty good listener." He chuckled and poked Blaine's ankle with his toe. When he got no response, his concern grew. "Blaine? What's wrong?"

"I just… what happened the other day in my room. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything with me."

"Blaine, I can assure you I didn't feel pressured. I mean, it was quite unexpected, but it was amazing."

"You have to understand that I just feel **so** much, Kurt. And when I touch you, it's like a drug and I just can't get enough."

"Is this where you make a lame Twilight joke about me being your own personal brand of heroin?"

Blaine pouted. "I'm serious, Kurt. I want you to understand."

"I'm sorry, I just don't get where all of this is coming from."

"You're my first boyfriend and I really care about you. I don't want to mess this up."

Kurt reached across the swing and grabbed Blaine's hand. "You're not messing anything up. What happened the other day? Definitely a little faster than I thought I would go, but—"

"See! That's what I'm talking about when I said—"

"BLAINE!"

They both sat silently for a few moments.

"Blaine," Kurt squeezed his hand as a gesture of reassurance. "Listen to me. What I was saying was that yes, you becoming my boyfriend and having our first orgasm together within minutes of each other was unexpected. I wouldn't change it. And if now we just go back to kissing and holding hands and take everything a lot slower – I'm ok with that. I meant it when I said I wanted to do everything with you. I don't want to set dates or put time limits on it or come up with a schedule for how this relationship should progress. I want to spend every minute with you that I can and in that time we'll learn more about each other – emotionally and physically. Three months ago I would've told you a touch of the fingertips was as sexy as anything needed to get. But now? I want to kiss you every second."

The slightest glimpse of a smile showed on Blaine's face. "Oh yah? Tell me more, oh wise one."

Kurt playfully slapped his knee. "Don't mock me. I mean it, Blaine. I'm not as fragile as you think I am. But all this time you've been fretting… do you regret it?"

"No! I was just overthinking it. I should've said something sooner. I don't regret anything with you, Kurt. I promise."

"Ok, end of serious discussion time then."

"Yah, let's get back to you wanting to kiss me every second."

Blaine waggled his eyebrows and Kurt rolled his eyes.

….

Blaine was beginning to think that Kurt spent more time at the mall than he did at home. This was already their second trip this week and Kurt was talking about the big sale coming up this weekend. Mercedes and Rachel had joined them earlier in the week and even though Blaine felt a little awkward around Kurt's friends, he enjoyed getting to know them better.

Blaine was never big on shopping. Partly because he needed help finding anything he wanted and partly because being in such a public place always drew unwanted attention. People treated him like a child, spoke loud and slow, and pity was always evident in their voices. He definitely wasn't a shut-in, but he preferred more private places or to be in the company of others like himself.

For Kurt though, Blaine would go anywhere. Even if it meant an afternoon spent shopping when he would rather be at home tangled together on the couch.

"Okay, you blanked out on me again."

Blaine turned his head towards Kurt's voice. "No, I'm here, just thinking."

"Then I'll assume you missed everything I just said since I know you have trouble multi-tasking." Kurt playfully bumped him with his hip. "Let's go home."

Now that was something Blaine could smile about. They walked quietly through the parking lot to Kurt's car, knuckles brushing as they walked, never holding hands in public for fear of the small town mindset on their relationship.

Blaine opened the backdoor for Roxy to climb into the car while Kurt loaded his bags in the back. Blaine had just closed the door when suddenly he felt something knock against him and he fell back against the concrete.

"What the hell?"

"Stay down, hobbit."

Blaine thought he recognized the voice, but his attention was now focused on Roxy barking in the backseat and Kurt struggling with someone else.

"Let me go!"

"You think you can just parade around here like you own the place? You should be locked away where you can't infect people with your queerness."

Blaine tried to sit up, but a foot pressed to his chest to keep him down.

"Being gay isn't contagious, Karofsky. I know you only have two brain cells, but you of all people should know that."

"What'd you say, fag?"

"Look, just leave us alone. We didn't even do anything to you."

"You were gaying up where we like to hang out," the voice above Blaine spoke up.

"You don't own the mall, Azimio. I hate to be the one to break it to you."

"You and your butt buddy over here need to stay out of our way."

"Karofsky, you can't keep me from going places. And you can call us all the bad names you can think of. But it won't change who we are and it won't change who you are."

Blaine heard something being slammed against the car and then a yelp from Kurt. He grabbed the foot still resting on his chest and pushed the person away from him as he started to get up. "Kurt?"

He barely made it to his feet when he was tripped and fell hard face first onto the ground again.

"Leave him alone!" Kurt was yelling and Roxy was still barking, but the voices sounded distant even though Blaine knew they were only a few feet away.

….

Kurt couldn't see from where he was pinned against the back of his car, but he knew Blaine must've hit his head hard. Blaine was moving very slowly trying to get his arms under his body to push up, but Azimio's foot came back to rest on his shoulders.

Kurt turned back to Karofsky who was holding him by his shirt collar.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"This isn't over, Hummel." Karofsky drew him forward and then slammed him back once more into the car before he let go and they walked away. Kurt stumbled over to where Blaine had now pulled himself into a crouch.

"Blaine? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Did they hurt you?"

"It's ok, like being slammed into a locker. I've gotten used to it."

"You shouldn't have to get used to that, Kurt."

"Come on, Blaine. Your head is bleeding a little. Let's go home."

Kurt helped him in and Roxy immediately climbed half onto the console to get to him. She nosed at his shoulder and he reached up to pet her. "I'm ok, girl."

….

When they got home, Blaine opened the door and let Roxy out. He ran his hand along the inside of the door, fairly certain he knew what he would find there.

"I'm sorry she scratched your car."

Kurt was by him then, running a hand up and down his arm. "It's just the panel. She was trying to get to you to protect you."

Blaine wanted to say, 'I was trying to get to you to protect you also, but I couldn't.' Instead he just kept his head down.

"Besides, you forget I have connections in car repair. Dad will help me fix this in no time."

Blaine nods and they walk towards his house. His mother greets them at the door and he can hear when the smile in her voice turns to concern. "Blaine, Kurt, what happened?"

He knew enough about Kurt's bullying to know that it's not something that he talks to adults about, so Blaine lies.

"I tripped in the parking lot. I was distracted and I'm sure it looks worse than it really is."

Kurt doesn't say anything, just rests a reassuring hand on his arm.

"Well come on, let me get you cleaned up."

He hears his mom walk away and he turns around to Kurt who has followed him in. "I'll call you later, Kurt."

The hand resting on his arm stills from its soothing circles. "Are you sure? Let me help get you cleaned up and then we can watch a movie or something."

"No, it's ok. My mom can help. And then I just want to lay down."

The hand pulls away. "Oh, alright then. I guess give me a call later when you wake up?"

"Sure."

He walks away then before Kurt can see how tears are beginning to form in his eyes. The door clicks a few seconds later and Blaine lets the first tear fall.

….

He doesn't call that night.

He doesn't call the next morning.

Kurt's honestly worried that Blaine hit his head harder than either of them thought and maybe something was seriously wrong. At noon, he knocked on the Andersons' door. Mrs. Anderson answered with her usual smile.

"Hey sweetie. Blaine's not feeling very well today."

"Can I see him? I was worried."

"He wants to be left alone right now. I think it's a migraine. He should be better tomorrow. I'll tell him you stopped by."

Kurt smiled his thanks and walked back to the house. He sent Blaine four texts that day, no response at all. Just before bedtime, he sat on his windowsill staring across at Blaine's window. The window had been closed for two days now.

"Goodnight, Blaine," he said loud enough that if the boy was in his room he would hear.

….

Kurt went over the next day, magazines and junk food in hand. Mrs. Anderson answered the door again as usual. This time, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"Hey, Mrs. Anderson. I brought over some stuff in case Blaine still wasn't feeling well. I thought I could help cheer him up."

"Kurt, it's… not a good day."

"Is it his head? Was it actually a concussion?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. He just…" She stopped, thinking of what to say. "Sometimes he just has bad days and this is one of them. You'd be better to come back tomorrow."

"Mrs. Anderson, I really wish you'd let me talk to him. I think I can help."

She looked thoughtful, weighing options in her head. "Okay, but just a few minutes and if he still wants to be left alone then you'll have to come back another time."

"Of course." He walked past her and up the stairs, nerves increasing with each step.

He stared at the closed door for what seemed like forever before he made himself knock. No answer, so he knocked slightly harder while slowly pushing the door open.

"Mom, I told you I wasn't hungry." Blaine was lying in bed, a blanket pulled up to his ears, back to the door.

"So, no Pringles or gummi bears?"

The messy pile of hair turned slightly. "Kurt?"

"Yes. I know you want to be left alone, but I wanted to come check on you."

Blaine turned back against the pillow and tightened he blanket around himself. "I don't… feel well."

"Please let me stay."

"I don't want to talk."

"Okay."

Kurt set his things down and kicked off his shoes. He pulled the blanket back and crawled in behind Blaine. When Blaine didn't tell him to leave, Kurt slid his arm over Blaine's side, hand resting on Blaine's chest. They lay snuggled like that, neither saying a word. Blaine's breathing evened out as he drifted to sleep. Kurt whispered softly into his hair, "I'm so sorry."

….

Blaine jerked awake. The dream still lingering as reality edged away the cloudiness of his sleep – images of pain and loved ones being hurt and screaming… lots of screaming. He felt the arm around him tighten and he remembered that Kurt was with him.

"Shh, it's okay." The breath was warm on his neck and a shiver ran through his body. "Do you want to talk about it? You kept calling my name, but you wouldn't wake up."

"Just give me a minute." He took several deep breaths as his mind jumped from the dream to the incident in the parking lot. His hand came to rest over Kurt's, still pressed against his chest. "You were hurt. Someone was hurting you. And I couldn't get to you. I just heard you calling for me, begging me to help. And in the dream I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find you."

"It was just a dream. I'm right here."

"It's more than just the dream, Kurt."

Kurt sighed against his neck and he shivered again. "This is about what happened the other day with the jocks." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

Kurt pulled with the arm around Blaine trying to get him to turn over, but Blaine pulled back to stay where he was. Blaine felt Kurt lean his forehead against Blaine's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Blaine."

Pity. That's what Kurt's words sounded like.

"I'm not what you need. I'll never be."

Suddenly Kurt's head was gone, his arm moved. The only contact was now Kurt's hand on Blaine's hip. "What? Why would you ever say that?"

"Because all I could do is lay there on the ground while you were being hurt!"

"You didn't just lay there. Azimio—"

"That doesn't matter! Even if nobody else was there, I couldn't have helped you! I'm always going to need someone to help me. Even when someone else needs something, my blindness will always hold me back. I'm not strong like you, Kurt. I'll never be what you need."

Blaine brought his hand up to cover his face to help hide the tears that were falling, though the shakiness of his voice was unmistakable. Kurt pulled his hand away and got up from the bed. This made Blaine let out a sob that he tried to muffle with the pillow. He knew Kurt could see now how pathetic he was. "Please just go."

….

"No."

Kurt wiped at his own eyes and walked around to the other side of the bed. If Blaine wouldn't budge, Kurt would just have to reposition. He crawled back into bed, pulling Blaine's hands from his face, and leaned their foreheads together.

"I'm not going anywhere." His voice cracked, but he didn't care if Blaine knew how hard he was crying. "I was so worried that you would hate me. That you would not want to be with me because all I seem to do is attract trouble and the other day it actually got you hurt. I have been so worried for the past two days because I feel responsible. You got hurt because of me."

"That wasn't your fault—"

"No, just listen. You talk about needing help like it's a crime. I always want to be able to help you. Not because you're blind, but because I care about you and that's what you do with people you care about." He took a deep breath and continued. "I don't know what will come of this relationship. It's still new and I don't want to scare you off. But Blaine Anderson, I will never stop wanting to help you because you have helped me so much already. It doesn't matter that you're blind because you actually **saw** me when nobody else did. And don't tell me that you're not strong because you are so much braver than I could ever hope to be. You are everything I need and want and I feel like both of our insecurities are trying to sabotage us before we even get started."

Kurt tried to calm his breathing and slow his tears. He was holding on to Blaine's hands like a lifeline waiting for a response.

It took several moments of silence before he got one. "We won't let them."

He furrowed his brow. "Won't let who what?"

Blaine actually smiled at that. "We won't let our insecurities sabotage us."

"So we're okay?"

"We're okay."

Kurt ran his thumb along Blaine's cheek wiping the last of the tears away. "Don't shut me out."

"That's a two-way street."

"I know. We'll both have to work at this relationship thing. We're kind of sucking at it."

"Hey!"

"I'm just saying – first boyfriends and all."

"Ahhh, young love."

Kurt saw Blaine tense, realizing what he just said. He wrapped his arm around Blaine, pulling him closer. "Young love indeed."

….

One month.

One month until he went back to school in Columbus.

Four weeks until his relationship with Kurt would change from kisses and cuddling and touchtouchtouch to phone calls and emails and distance.

But right now they had those four weeks.

He shifted on the couch causing Kurt to lift his head from his chest. "You okay?"

"Very okay." He held Kurt's face and kissed him long and deep.

Movie day cancelled.

Make-out day was much more fun.

….

Three weeks.

He promised himself he would focus on the here and now and not worry about what was to come, but who was he kidding with that?

Kurt was already preparing himself for when the summer would end.

What was that poem? 'Nothing gold can stay.' Well for Kurt Hummel, nothing good could last.

He squeezed Blaine's hand as they sat on the porch swing.

….

12 days.

Blaine loved his school. He loved the teachers and his friends and the way the school both challenged him and made him more comfortable.

For several days, Blaine seriously considered transferring schools. He could ride with Kurt every day. The school would have to let him bring Roxy. He'd adjust. He'd be with Kurt.

But then his rational thoughts won out. McKinley High couldn't offer him what he needed. Hell, it didn't even offer Kurt what he needed.

They would just have to make these last days count and then put in the effort to keep this relationship while being apart.

Blaine strummed his guitar while Kurt lazily hummed an accompanying tune.

….

48 hours.

In 48 hours, Blaine would be in a car, going back to school. Leaving Kurt behind. Kurt was sad. And scared.

But for now, he focused on running his hands through Blaine's curls as they lazed on the bed. Blaine's hair had gotten long over the summer and he was leaving the curls mostly untamed. Kurt knew once Blaine got back to school, the gel would be back in full-effect, but all he could focus on now was the softness beneath his fingertips.

"Okay, favorites."

"Yes!" Blaine did his little squirmy dance. He loved this game.

"Season. Fall – the time to start layering."

"Winter – I'm all about the scarves and jackets. Smell – cinnamon."

"Hmm, lavender. No, lavender and vanilla together. Dessert – chocolate soufflé."

"Kurt, you know I can't pick just one. I enjoy all desserts."

"But alas, you must choose."

"Fine. Apple crumb cake. Word – pulchritudinous."

"Now you're must making words up."

"No I'm not! It means beautiful. It was the word of the day in one of my English classes a while ago and it just stuck with me."

"Hmm. I always liked pamplemousse."

"What the heck is a pamplemousse?"

"It's French for grapefruit, but it just sounds so silly. Sound – thunderstorms."

"Your voice."

"Blaine…"

"What? It's true. I love listening to you talk. And make other sounds."

"You are insufferable."

"Just being honest."

"More like cheesy."

"I love you."

Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine. His boyfriend's face looked happy… hopeful. "I love you, too."

Blaine's smile widened and Kurt felt like he was floating on a cloud.

For the first time since the day Blaine asked Kurt to be his boyfriend, they allowed themselves to go beyond making out. Hands were finally being granted access to below the waist. They kissed and rubbed against one another, frantic like that first time. Orgasms came entirely too quickly, but neither boy cared in that moment.

And if Kurt held on a little too tightly as they both came down, Blaine didn't say a word.

….

He'd tried to convince his mom to let Kurt stay over the previous night to no avail. So they stayed up late talking across the space between their windows. Burt put a stop to that at about one in the morning, but then they just text each other under the covers until they both eventually fell asleep.

Blaine sat in the porch swing listening to the birds greet the morning. His mom wanted to get an early start in order to allow plenty of time to get settled back in his room at the school. Kurt's footsteps were slow, dragging, reluctant. He sat on the swing and leaned heavily against Blaine, an open arm waiting for him.

"We have unlimited texts and Skype and we can talk every night."

Kurt made an agreeing noise into Blaine's shoulder.

"And you'll convince your Dad to let you come up to Columbus some weekends. And I'll come back here on other weekends. Then the holidays will be here and we'll have weeks together."

"I know. And then just one more semester and we'll be graduating. It just seems so far away."

"We'll make it though. We'll make this work."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

….

It wasn't that Kurt didn't believe him. He did. But he was a cynic. Nothing ever turned out the way you wanted. Nobody ever got what they really wanted.

He felt Blaine hug him tighter, his other hand coming up to touch Kurt's face. The touch was feather light – feeling, mapping, memorizing. Kurt balled his hand up in Blaine's t-shirt trying to keep his breathing even. Blaine traced his face from hair to chin and back around again. The touch was so reverent, so loving, Kurt couldn't help it when the tears started to fall silently.

"Please don't cry." Blaine wiped away the tears with the same gentle touch and then let his hand rest against Kurt's cheek.

Kurt sat up and studied Blaine's worried face. Before he could stop himself, he was crashing their lips together. He put every ounce of his fear and sadness and love into the desperate kiss. When he finally pulled away, he wasn't crying anymore, but Blaine was.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

Kurt pressed their heads together. "I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Mrs. Anderson walked out then, shutting the door behind her, and jingling her keys. "Sorry boys, but we have to get going."

They walked slowly to the car, hands intertwined. Mrs. Anderson loaded the last bag and got Roxy situated.

Kurt opened the passenger side door for Blaine and then hugged him tightly around his shoulders. The feeling of Blaine's arms wrapping around his waist made him feel so safe. He knew the tears would start again any second. Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck and whispered, "please…."

Kurt wasn't sure what exactly he was asking for.

_Please don't hurt me. My heart is in your hands._

_Please love me. I've never felt like this before._

_Please don't leave me. I don't know if I can be here without you._

Blaine pulled back enough to kiss his temple and replied, "I know."

They let go of one another and Blaine fastened himself in. The look of misery on his face matched how Kurt felt. The car began backing out of the driveway and Kurt just stood there with his hand half raised to say goodbye. He didn't care that Blaine couldn't see him. When the car turned the corner and disappeared from sight, Kurt meandered back to his house, shuffled up the stairs, and then burrowed under his covers.

He woke up quite a while later, the sun high in the sky. When he checked his phone he had 11 missed texts – all from Blaine.

The first 10 simply said 'I love you.' All sent within a two-hour time span (probably the time it took them to drive to Columbus). The 11th was a picture – slightly off-center and askew – of Blaine and Roxy. Blaine's smile was tentative and Roxy was looking up at him. The message below was short.

_We miss you already._

….

It took three days of moping around the house staring wistfully at his phone for his dad to make Kurt get out of the house. Burt handed him some cash and told him to go have fun with his friends. Kurt ended up at Mercedes' house, but still sulked around like a child. He could tell she was trying to be supportive, but all of his time spent with Blaine over the summer meant that he spent even less time with her and the rest of his friends.

Kurt shook himself, put on a brave face, and tried to act normal. They had their own little in-house spa day and while Kurt did enjoy himself, he always had one hand on his phone.

….

Blaine was fairly certain teachers were supposed to ease you back into the school year. The pile of homework he brought back to his room on the third day told him otherwise. He tried to text Kurt during the day, but phones had to be put away during class. And with all of the stress of the first week back, he found himself wearing a little thin. It would sometimes take him hours to reply to Kurt's texts, but he always got an almost instant reply back.

The first time they tried Skyping that week, Blaine fell asleep after his long day. He felt absolutely horrible the next day, but Kurt just laughed about it and told him to focus on classes and they would Skype again over the weekend.

Senior year was going to be difficult.

….

Kurt barely slept that Sunday night. His dread for the following day kept his mind racing. The few hours he managed to get were restless at best.

He wore one of his fiercest outfits, head raised high as he walked into the school building. Blaine had text him words of encouragement that morning and it helped him to breathe a little easier.

The bright blue slushie that collided with his face before he even made it to his locker stopped his breathing altogether.

"Welcome back, fag."

He shook off as much of the offending mess as he could before rushing into the bathroom, bag in tow. He wiped the sticky drink off his face and neck. Thankfully, his shirt took the brunt of the attack, so he wouldn't have to change completely. He heard the first bell ring and rushed to switch shirts. With a final glance in the mirror at his relatively put-back-together self, he rushed to his locker, throwing what he didn't need in and slamming it shut. As he turned to head to class, he felt strong hands pushing him back against the locker, his shoulder aching from the slam. Kurt looked up to see Karofsky leering as he walked away slowly.

Senior year was going to be hell.

….

Their texts were usually random observations of the day. Phone calls were for complaining and catching up. Skype sessions were for them to just _be_. Kurt could watch Blaine. Blaine could listen to Kurt. They murmured sweet nothings and affirmations of love while they got ready for bed. And though Kurt constantly teased Blaine about his inability to stay awake that first night of Skyping, they made it a point to keep talking until one or the other fell asleep. They talked less on Skype than they did on text or the phone, but it was strangely comforting just listening to each other breathe and laugh and sigh.

It took some time, but they found their routine.

….

Kurt's attempts to convince his father that a weekend trip to Columbus would be a good idea failed miserably. He played every sympathy card he could think of and even pulled out the puppy dog eyes and begged. 'Not going to happen,' was the final response he got. When two guys quit at his dad's shop unexpectedly, Kurt began giving up his weekends to help out. He knew his father would work himself into a frenzy if left to his own devices, so Kurt and Finn stepped up. He stopped trying to guilt his dad into letting him go to Columbus.

Blaine's luck wasn't much better. His Aunt Marcie worked on Saturdays and it was an awfully long trip to go both ways in the same day. Mrs. Anderson was more sympathetic to their plight, but she also wanted Blaine to focus his attention on his senior year. Blaine had been working outside of normal school hours with his music teacher to continue mastering his skills on the piano. The dream of Juilliard was still dangling in the distance, but he would be prepared no matter what.

They both felt guilty for not having more time, sad that the reality of their lives apart was nothing like they imagined it to be curled up on Blaine's porch swing over the summer. They doubled their efforts with texts, calls, and Skype.

It wasn't quite the same.

….


	5. Chapter 5

The third week in September, Blaine's guilt almost broke him.

His phone was on silent while he attended his music lesson, so he was surprised to find four missed calls when he checked it on the way back to his room. His surprise turned to fear when he found them all to be from Kurt, only minutes apart.

He called Kurt immediately and it barely had a chance to ring before he heard a desperate voice on the other end of the line. "Blaine?"

"Kurt! What happened?"

He heard sniffling and it sounded like Kurt started to talk several times but stopped himself.

"Kurt, please tell me what's wrong."

"He kissed me…"

It was barely a whisper and Blaine thought he misheard. "What?"

"Karofsky. He… kissed me."

"Tell me exactly what happened."

"I just wanted him to stop pushing me around. You and I had been talking lately about not letting those Neanderthals ruin my senior year and I just wanted to… I…" Kurt's breathing got quicker.

"It's okay, Kurt. You just wanted to what?"

"I wanted to tell him to leave me alone so after he pushed me today I ran after him and yelled at him everything I've been bottling up. And then he grabbed me and I was so surprised and I wasn't angry anymore but I was so, so scared."

Kurt sounded like he was going to hyperventilate.

"Listen, shh, come on, take a deep breath. You're home now, right? Kurt? You're safe?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell a teacher? Or your dad?"

"No! I can't!"

"Kurt, somebody has to get involved. This is more than just pushing and slushies."

"I know. I just can't. Please, Blaine. Don't tell anyone."

"I'm going to find a way to get back there. I'll tell my aunt it's an emergency."

"No, Blaine, stop…"

"I can be there in a few hours. And everything will be ok." Blaine didn't realize it, but he'd been pacing. Roxy's worried whimper made him stop.

"Please, Blaine. I just needed to hear your voice. You can't come here now. You have to stay there."

"I want to be there for you."

"You are though. Just stay on the line. Talk to me."

"Kurt…"

"Please."

"Promise me you'll stay with someone at school. Don't be alone with him again."

"I promise, Blaine. I'll tell the glee guys that the jocks are getting pushier and ask them to walk me to class. I'll be okay, I just needed to hear your voice. Now tell me about your music lesson."

Blaine sighed and fell on the bed. He didn't want to think about music or school or anything other than being with Kurt. As hard as Blaine's life was, he never felt threatened. He was surrounded by safety and people that were there to protect him. Kurt had no one - everyone too consumed in their own drama to notice what was happening to him.

He'd told Kurt to stand up for himself. Courage. And look what happened.

He had to get home soon.

….

It had been a rough couple of weeks. Karofsky hadn't touched him or talked to him since the kiss. Instead, he glared at Kurt from down the hallway. He stared at Kurt in the one class they shared. It was so unnerving that Kurt almost wished Karofsky would shove him into a locker. Kurt knew how to deal with that. This was new. And scary.

His friends noticed the change in his behavior. He'd practically plastered himself to one of the guys anytime he saw a red jacket. Sam asked if it was because of the bullying and Kurt just nodded, not wanting to give any details. They walked him to class, checked in on him, did what they could.

After Kurt's frantic call to Blaine, their communication became a consistent comfort to get through the day. Blaine text him between classes, called him when he knew Kurt got out of school, Skyped every night. It seemed like they both needed it – too many weeks having passed since they last saw each other.

Kurt had high hopes that Blaine would come home the weekend of his birthday, but Blaine told him he had something already scheduled that day. Their fall recital was that Saturday and Blaine apologized a hundred times that he couldn't get out of it. Kurt held a small glimmer of hope that it was a ruse and Blaine would actually surprise him. That fizzled when he went on the school's website and saw the event page with Blaine's name clear as day on the list of performers.

It was okay though – a dozen lilies had arrived that morning with a note from Blaine that simply said 'I love you.' They exchanged a few texts throughout the day, but Kurt knew Blaine was nervous and focused on the recital. He wished him luck and they agreed to talk that night.

So sitting in Rachel's basement with his glee friends was not exactly his first choice for how to spend his birthday. It wasn't even his second choice (hello facials and movie night with the girls!), but he was determined to have fun nonetheless.

He ate some appallingly unhealthy food and sipped on the same wine cooler for an hour.

"Where's Puck? I thought he'd be first in line to an unchaperoned opportunity to drink."

Mercedes just smiled big and goofy at him. _How much has she had to drink? _"He's going to get the good stuff. You know he won't drink these pink drinks."

And as if on queue, Kurt heard Puck laughing and talking at the top of the stairs.

"Alright, Hummel. Time for your present."

"Puck, I can assure you that whatever cheap liquor you talked someone into buying you does not constitute a proper gift. I would much prefer you get me—" A pause, he blinked a few times trying to clear his head and speak again. "Blaine."

"Yes, that is exactly what I got you." Puck chuckled as he led the curly haired boy down the stairs slowly.

Kurt's brain had malfunctioned. He was 99% certain he only had one wine cooler, but this still wasn't making sense. "Blaine?"

"Surprise?"

He launched himself at Blaine, nearly knocking the boy over as we wrapped around him. Kurt buried his head in Blaine's neck and breathed the boy in. He pulled back after a minute, a confused look still on his face.

"I don't understand. How are you here?"

"Puck came and picked me up. We left right after my recital ended. And I obviously couldn't see the speedometer, but I'm fairly certain he drove like a bat out of hell since we got here so quickly."

Kurt turned to Puck who was beaming like Blaine's comment was a compliment. "You drove all the way to Columbus?"

"Yah, dude. It's your birthday and Blaine really wanted to be here."

Rachel was practically squirming trying to suppress her elation. "You've been so down lately that we all wanted it to be a surprise."

The surge of warm fuzzies he felt for his friends in that moment almost made him cry. Kurt turned back to Blaine. "Best surprise ever."

He kissed Blaine softly, wrapping his arms back around him.

"And now is when we get drunk," Finn chimed in. "Seriously, stop making out, this is weird."

Finn and Puck started taking bottles out of bags, clinking them together as they set them on the counter. Kurt was too busy holding on to Blaine and trying to recover from his shock to pay anyone else much mind.

Mike cranked the music back up and everyone grabbed drinks.

"Are you drinking tonight, birthday boy?" Blaine whispered it into his ear and Kurt was surprised how those seemingly innocent words were turning him on.

"No. I want to remember every second of you being here. Unimpaired."

Blaine smiled and kissed him again. This birthday was turning out to be pretty great after all.

….

They cuddled and kissed casually on the couch most of the night. Puck gave them a hard time about not drinking (_you're supposed to get trashed on your birthday, man!), _but for the most part everyone knew that they just wanted to be together.

Rachel cranked out the karaoke machine and both boys cringed at the onslaught of bad 80s songs.

"I should sing you a song for your birthday."

Kurt whined and pulled him closer. "But that would take you away and I want you right here."

Blaine couldn't argue with that.

After half a dozen songs (almost all sung by Rachel) and the truly tragic game of spin the bottle that they sat on the sidelines for, Kurt stood and grabbed for Blaine's hand.

"Rachel, my dad already knows I'm crashing here tonight, but I'm assuming it's okay if Blaine stays also?"

"Of course." Her words were slurred and she giggled as she tried to sit up. "You can sleep in the blue guest room."

"Thanks. I think we're going to turn in since it looks like the majority of you are either already passed out or on your way to being there soon. See you in the morning."

There was a chorus of happy birthday wishes and catcalls as they walked to the stairs. Before they'd even gotten halfway up, Rachel yelled after them.

"No sex! My dads aren't here, but no sex! Sleep only."

"Don't be a cockblock, midget."

Blaine grinned at Santana's comment.

….

Blaine grabbed his bag from the top of the stairs and Kurt went to get his from Rachel's room before they headed down the hall to the guest room.

They both got ready for bed and Blaine retreated back into the bedroom (his nightly routine much shorter than Kurt's). Kurt stared at himself in the mirror as he rubbed the cream into his face. He realized that he was nervous.

They'd become more comfortable talking about sex lately. Not that they made it a regular topic of conversation, but there was a level of comfort between them now that allowed them to be more open. They both agreed to wait on having penetrative sex. Kurt had turned ten shades of red during that particular conversation. There had been discussion about what they liked most that they'd already done and what else they wanted to try. Thinking of these conversations, Kurt suddenly wondered what was going to happen when he walked out of the bathroom. They hadn't been around each other in weeks and had now spent an entire evening making out on the couch, which had kept Kurt half hard the whole night.

Kurt washed his hands, took a deep breath, and switched the bathroom light off as he walked out. Blaine was stretched on the bed wearing nothing but a pair of sweats that hung low on his hips, the soft bedside lamp casting just the right shadows across his body. Kurt looked down at his own pajamas – a very nice burgundy silk top and pants set. He had never felt more overdressed in his life. He had also never felt so apprehensive to be less dressed.

"Come here." Blaine was reaching out in his direction and Kurt walked forward without a second thought.

….

Blaine felt like he'd been laying there forever. Just when he started to get self-conscious, he heard Kurt turn off the bathroom light and quickly called him over to the bed. They lay side-by-side in the bed, kissing lazily while Blaine drew random patterns with his fingers against Kurt's soft pajamas.

"Will you take this off?" He plucked at the buttons of Kurt's pajama top.

He felt Kurt nod against him and then pull away slightly to comply. When he pressed back in, Blaine sighed at the feel of skin on skin. He rested his head in the crook of Kurt's neck and traced feather light touches over Kurt's arms and back.

"You're lucky I'm not ticklish."

"So soft." Blaine pulled him closer, light touches becoming more solid. "Kurt, can I… I want to touch you. I want to see you."

"Like the face thing?"

"Like the face thing."

"Okay." Kurt rolled slightly so he was laying flat on his back. The bed dipped as Kurt rustled about and when Blaine reached out to touch Kurt's thigh he groaned. Kurt had removed his pajama pants, exposing more skin to Blaine, and leaving himself in just his underwear.

Blaine began kissing Kurt like he was on a mission, pressing Kurt into the mattress as he leaned into him. The kisses slowly got lighter and eventually Blaine pulled back.

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because I just want you to feel everything I'm about to do to you."

"What are you about to do to me?"

Blaine chuckled. "I'm keeping my pants on, don't worry. You can tell me to stop at any time."

Kurt reached out and caressed Blaine's cheek. "I never worry with you."

"I want to touch you everywhere, Kurt. Everywhere."

There was a long pause, the bass from downstairs faintly reverberating through the walls.

"Yes. Yes, okay, yes."

Blaine smiled and kissed his lips again. "Now close your eyes."

Kurt took a deep breath and relaxed back into the pillow.

Blaine started kissing along his jaw, nipping at his earlobe, and then licking a line down Kurt's neck. He sat up, straddling Kurt's hips, and began tracing a line from each wrist up to his shoulders. Blaine flattened his palms as he rubbed over Kurt's collarbones, down over his chest, and making a circle to sweep over each nipple. He felt the body below him arch slightly and Kurt let out a soft gasp.

Blaine's hands rested on Kurt's chest. "Your heart is beating so fast. Can you feel it?"

"Yes," Kurt whispered. "All your fault."

Blaine grinned and began moving his hands again. He smoothed his hands along Kurt's side, feeling the muscle and ribs there. It occurred to him then that Kurt had lost weight, but it wasn't the time to comment on it. His hands moved back to the center of Kurt's chest and then slowly began traveling down. He skimmed lightly over his belly button and then rubbed gently at his hips. Every place he touched elicited a new sound from Kurt.

Blaine lifted one of his legs and then settled it between Kurt's. Hesitantly, Kurt bent his knees and spread his legs further allowing Blaine to kneel between them. Blaine grabbed both of Kurt's ankles and then ran his hands up the calves and to his thighs. He massaged Kurt's thighs gently and then let his hands drift down the back side of his legs. His hands moved back up to Kurt's sides, making a figure eight of touch.

"Your skin is so soft."

"Proper, ah, moisturizing."

Blaine's thumbs stroked casually against the sensitive skin where it met Kurt's underwear. One finger dipped just barely under the elastic causing Kurt to exhale sharply.

"Is this okay?"

"Uh huh."

"Use your words, Kurt," he teased.

"Jokes in bed – not a good idea, Blaine."

"Trying to relieve some tension."

"Blaine Anderson. Did you just make a sex pun?"

They both laughed, but Blaine could feel Kurt's body relax underneath him - his thumbs never ceasing their tender movement on Kurt's skin.

"Kurt?" Serious now.

The sound of Kurt's quickened breathing below him was driving Blaine crazy. He counted to thirty-two in his head before Kurt finally took a deep breath and answered.

"Yes, god, please take them off."

Blaine rolled to the side as he hooked his thumbs underneath the waistband and slowly pulling Kurt's underwear off. He resituated himself back between Kurt's legs and they both moaned as Blaine lay over him to press kisses to his chest. Blaine lay still for a few moments, feeling Kurt hard against his stomach. Blaine placed wet kisses across his chest until his lips found a nipple and swirled his tongue around it.

"Oh my god."

He lifted his body up, hovering just over the warm body below him.

Kurt let out a whine at the lack of touch.

"Shh, just let me."

Blaine slowly began to move down Kurt's stomach, lips barely grazing the skin, his hot breathe being radiated back off the body. He could feel the fine hair on Kurt's skin, feel the goosebumps that blossomed after his warm breath had left.

He'd never touched someone like this. Never mapped the valleys and peaks of a body. In that moment, he felt like he was touching something precious. _Someone_ precious. Touching Kurt was absolutely intoxicating.

Blaine moved further down the bed, still only touching Kurt with his lips. He peppered the skin with kisses, dragging his mouth lower and lower, letting his lips catch on the smooth skin.

He licked across Kurt's hipbone and felt the boy writhe below him. One arm hooked under Kurt's leg, bending the knee and spreading Kurt open. Blaine kissed and licked along Kurt's inner thigh until he reached where leg met cheek. He nipped softly at the sensitive skin, barely scraping his teeth in a soft bite, and then kissing the same area. He let go of the leg and it dropped less than gracefully to the bed.

Blaine couldn't believe how amazing Kurt felt. He was soft and lean and toned. And he smelled incredible – a subtle sweetness and saltiness mixing together. Body wash and sweat.

Blaine began sucking a mark into Kurt's hip, letting himself rut into the bed slowly. The way Kurt was constantly making little sounds was such a turn on.

"Blaine…"

"Can I?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Please."

Blaine pulled himself forward slightly, his chin bumping into Kurt's erection, a small wet spot left behind. His first thought was to laugh and make a joke about Kurt's dick possibly 'poking an eye out,' but then realized what was about to happen and thought better of adding in his blind humor.

He reached forward and grabbed Kurt's cock, gripping it and stroking it a few times. It was different – it felt solid in his hand and the angle was weird. He leaned down and licked across the tip and Kurt arched and moaned lower than Blaine's ever heard.

"Don't stop."

Blaine sucked experimentally at the head and then slowly eased further down taking more into his mouth. Kurt was whimpering beautifully which only encouraged Blaine to continue. He grabbed onto Kurt's waist as he found a rhythm and moved his head up and down slowly. His hands touched every place he could reach, rubbing along Kurt's sides and chest and arms. Kurt was bucking up slightly and mewling with each move Blaine made.

He drew his hands back down over Kurt's hips and then to the coarse hair around his cock. His fingers traced lower, fondling his balls, feeling their weight in his hand.

"Nngh, yesssss."

Blaine alternated between sucking the tip of Kurt's cock and tracing the veins with his tongue. It felt hot and heavy in his mouth and the thought made Blaine moan. He took Kurt into his mouth as far as he could and then reached down to spread Kurt's cheeks. When he ran his thumb lightly against the puckered entrance, Kurt reached his hand up to grab Blaine's hair and pulled hard. That's all it took to make Blaine come into his sweatpants, Kurt bucking up and coming soon after. As Kurt fell back to the bed, Blaine did his best to swallow, and pulled off Kurt with a lewd pop.

The only sound filling the room was their harsh breathing. Blaine crawled up next to Kurt on the pillows.

Blaine coughed a few times to clear his throat. "Was that okay?"

"S'fine. Amazing. Fuck. Love you so much." Kurt sounded absolutely wrecked. Blaine had very rarely heard him cuss before. An arm reached out and grabbed Blaine's shoulder and he felt Kurt starting to sit up. "Now you."

"No, I, uh… that was amazing for me also as is evidenced by my wet pants."

Kurt giggled and kissed Blaine's shoulder. "Im'a be the 'lil spoon."

Kurt turned over and pressed back into Blaine. The stickiness in Blaine's pants was not how he wanted to go to sleep, but he couldn't make himself move away from Kurt. He pulled the covers up over them and wrapped an arm over Kurt.

"I love you."

"Loveyoutoo." Kurt sounded like he was already half asleep. A few minutes passed and then Kurt tensed. "Where's Roxy?"

"We've really gotta work on acceptable post-orgasm conversation topics. Family and animals are banned."

"Sex puns, too."

"No promises."

"So, where's Roxy?"

Blaine smiled. "A friend is taking care of her."

"You'll leave me tomorrow?" The way Kurt said it made Blaine's heart sink just a little. There was no choice to stay or leave.

"Yah, Puck's going to drive me back after lunch."

Kurt made a disappointed noise and drew Blaine's arm tighter around his body. "So glad you're here."

"Me too, baby. Happy birthday."

"Hmm."

With Kurt's body so warm and close against his, he smiled and started to sing softly.

_All of my life, yes all of my life_

_I've waited, waited, waited, waited for you_

_I dreamed and dreamed and thought and schemed_

_For someone, someone, someone like you_

_Now that you're here, please my dear_

_Don't ever, ever, ever, ever go_

_All of my life, yes all of my life_

_I've dreamed and I've longed for you so…_

"Beautiful," Kurt mumbled.

Blaine kissed his shoulder. "Very."

….

He'd been awake for a short time just watching Blaine. That night, Kurt discovered that Blaine talked in his sleep. He never said anything embarrassing, just seemingly random words and phrases. It was adorable.

Blaine startled suddenly, reaching out and running his hand along Kurt's chest and arm before finding his hand.

Kurt reflexively pulled the sheet up to cover himself.

"Good morning."

"Mmm, it is now that I'm awake and cuddling with you."

"You were dreaming."

"Hmm."

"Do you remember?"

Blaine pulled Kurt closer, burying his face in Kurt's neck. "I think I was flying."

Kurt giggled. "Like Superman?"

"Mmhmm."

They snuggled together for a few minutes in silence, the gears of curiosity turning in Kurt's head. "What are your dreams like?"

"Hmm?"

"Your dreams. Are they… I mean, do you see? Or is it just darkness?"

Blaine pulled back slightly to rest his head back on the pillow. "Strange questions for the morning."

"You're just very expressive when you sleep. I was curious."

"It's hard to explain." Blaine rubbed his hand over his face and stretched. "It's not darkness. I incorporate visual things that I remember from when I was a kid. But it's like things are sometimes blurred together. There are gaps in my visual memory, so in my dreams, things that I've never seen before can be hazy."

"What do you dream about?"

"Probably the same things you do. People I know, things I've done. Some good dreams, some bad. And apparently when I'm especially happy, I dream about flying."

Kurt couldn't help but smile. "Am I in your good dreams?"

"You do make quite a view appearances."

"What do I look like in your dreams?"

Blaine hesitated, thinking through his answer. "You look like a person with some of the basics that I can add in – brown hair, pale skin. I can never exactly see your face though. It's blurry because I guess my mind doesn't know quite what to see."

"If my face is blurry, how do you know it's me?"

"Because of how you make me feel. No matter what you look like in my dream, I always get butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat."

Kurt played idly with a patch of Blaine's chest hair he'd just noticed. "What about the bad dreams?"

"Mostly what you would expect – scary things, losing people, being alone. I sometimes still dream about the car accident." He sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "But those aren't the worst. Sometimes, I have dreams that are so real. I'll just be doing normal everyday stuff. But I can see clear as day and sometimes my mom is there and she just looks so _vibrant_. And then I wake up and it takes a minute for reality to hit. On those days, it takes everything in me to get out of bed."

Kurt saw the pain in Blaine's eyes and touched his cheek lightly. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

The pain flickered away, replaced with a reluctant smile. "Don't be. Sometimes it's nice to be able to tell someone stuff like this. And how often do I get to wake up next to my beautiful boyfriend?"

Kurt was the master of deflection, but he didn't want to pry anymore. Kurt leaned forward and kissed him softly. "It's still early. Let's stay in bed."

….

Blaine held Kurt tightly against him, but it still wasn't close enough. He couldn't believe all of the emotions that this boy made him feel. Blaine focused on the happiness and pushed his worry and fear and doubt away in that moment. For the first time in his life, he felt completely open and exposed to someone and it was both the best and the worst thing. He just had to place his trust in Kurt and know (hope) that he was doing the right thing.

His hands ran the length of Kurt's arm and back, feeling the smooth skin as the boy dozed against him. Blaine had too much on his mind to fall back to sleep so he lay there quietly until Kurt stirred again.

"Mmm, still don't wanna get up."

Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's chest for a minute before reaching down and pulling the sheet up tight around him again.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Try to cover yourself up when it's just me."

"Habit, I guess. Nobody wants to see that."

Blaine chuckled and moved to pull the sheet back down so he could continue running his hands along Kurt's back.

"Blaaaaine," Kurt whined, but didn't grab for the sheet again.

"I wish you could see how beautiful you are."

"That's easy for you to say since you can't actually see me." Kurt cringed against Blaine's chest. "Sorry, you know what I mean."

"Don't apologize. I know what you meant and I still think you're stunning. I wish you could see yourself the way I do."

"And how's that?"

"You're exquisite. Every dip and curve and line of you is breathtaking. Just because I don't have sight doesn't mean that I can't see how completely striking you are."

Blaine felt Kurt's face try to hide away against his side.

"I see everything I need to see, I just use my other senses to do it. I know you're blushing because of the warmth of your cheek. I know when you have your mouth open and head thrown back in pleasure by the way you let out these little stuttered breaths. I can feel your heartbeat and how it quickens when I touch you. And I know that you still don't believe me because of the nervous tension running through your body right now. You're not used to compliments."

"I've never had someone… see me like that before."

"Such a shame." Blaine nudged Kurt up until he pressed their lips together in a slow, languid kiss. When he settled back down, Blaine could feel Kurt's smile against his skin.

Blaine knew they would have to get up soon. As much as he wanted to stay in that moment, he knew that life must continue on. Blaine didn't want to leave for countless reasons.

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Are you safe?"

Blaine felt Kurt tense for a few seconds and then force himself to relax. "I think so."

"Nothing else has happened?"

"No. The guys are being really good about flanking me in the halls."

"You would tell me if something was wrong or something else happened, right?"

"Of course. You shouldn't worry so much about me."

"Can't help it."

Blaine kissed his forehead and got out of bed.

….

The visit was too short, but worth it. That night, back in his dorm room, Blaine dreamt of flying again.

….


	6. Chapter 6

Classes and extracurriculars once again took priority. Blaine started to feel overwhelmed around Halloween and things only got worse from there. Between his AP classes, piano rehearsal, and joining the school's competitive public speaking group, Blaine worried that he'd spread himself too thin. The classes and rehearsal were necessities and he only added the public speaking to have as an additional notation on his college applications. He considered withdrawing, but it turned into something he actually enjoyed and helped to boost his confidence speaking in front of the general public.

Texts with Kurt went back to being sporadic, Skype sessions even more infrequent. They talked every night on the phone though – even if only for a quick 'goodnight.' Blaine knew Kurt was busy as well. He had led quite the campaign for student class president, but admitted after he didn't win that his heart wasn't in it. When he landed a part in the school play though, Blaine had never heard Kurt squeal louder. So, now Kurt's time was spent between play rehearsals and the never-ending prep for sectionals.

Every morning, Kurt sent him a text with a countdown of the number of days until Thanksgiving. It always made him smile.

Blaine spent most of his weekends at his aunt's house. She helped him with his college applications, proofread his essays, and encouraged him to expand his options to schools other than OSU and the local community colleges. It was hard to get his father's nagging voice out of his head – a voice that told him he was limited, he didn't have options, he shouldn't bother.

Thankfully, his aunt and mother gave him nothing but encouragement. He finished his OSU application first, then moved on to smaller universities in Ohio. He even applied to a school in Illinois that had many amenities that catered to blind students.

He saved his application to Juilliard for last. It was the most in-depth, but also the one Blaine wanted most. His music teacher helped him arrange a performance piece to record and send with his application. Blaine practiced it until his fingers were numb.

He'd been sleeping less at night in the past few weeks – his mind going a mile a minute. As much as he wanted to go to school in New York or Illinois or even in Columbus, he was so scared. What if he couldn't handle it? What if it was too hard and he didn't get the extra help he needed? What if no one liked him? These questions in his mind sounded eerily like his father. Blaine placed the pillow over his head hoping to somehow calm the nagging voices within.

It didn't work.

….

For their first Skype session in two weeks, it wasn't exactly starting off well.

"Are you ok? You look horrible."

"You _sound_ horrible – why do you sound so tired and beat down?"

"I'm fine. Besides – I asked you first, Blaine."

"You know I've got a lot on my plate right now. I'm just stressed and not sleeping well because of it."

"You have to take care of yourself."

"And what about you? Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Of course. It's just sectionals stuff and college applications. Things will calm down once the holidays get here."

"You sound snippy."

"Well maybe it's because you keep poking and all I want to do is forget about the stress in my life!"

"Kurt…"

"Sorry. I'm just tired. And I know you're tired too. Two more weeks and then you'll be here, right?"

"Yah."

"You don't sound excited."

"Two weeks seems like a long ways away."

"It will go quickly. Now go get some sleep. Love you."

"Love you too."

Kurt closed his laptop and climbed into bed. With the covers pulled over his head, he cried himself to sleep.

….

They barely talked over the next two weeks. He seemed to hear Kurt's voicemail more than his actual voice, but Blaine figured Kurt's focus was on practicing for Sectionals. Kurt always made his glee teacher sound like an obsessive whack-job.

Two days before Thanksgiving break, Blaine got a text from a number he didn't recognize asking when he would be home. He text back asking whom the mystery person was and was surprised at the response: Finn.

**Finn**

_Sry I swiped ur # from Kurt's phone. Are you coming back to Lima soon?_

**Blaine**

_Yes, probably Saturday_

**Finn**

_Im worried abt kurt & evrything that went down_

Blaine was confused and Finn's response time was less than impressive, so he called the boy instead.

"Finn, what are you talking about?"

"You know, dude. The Karofsky stuff. It really messed Kurt up and you know how he is. I didn't know why he'd been so down lately. I tried bringing him warm milk three nights in a row and he just mumbled 'thanks' and told me he was tired. It all makes sense now. He won't talk to me and I know he talks to you, but it would be better if you were here. So when will you be here?"

"Okay, rewind for a second because I got confused between Karofsky and warm milk." Kurt had sworn Blaine to secrecy about Karofsky kissing him, so he needed Finn to clarify.

"You know – Karofsky threatening him and stuff. I mean, it was good that someone overheard it and then he shoved Coach Beiste and that was pretty cool to see her take him down."

"Finn, is Kurt there now? I tried calling him earlier and he didn't answer."

"Yah, he's talking to Burt in the living room. We just got home from school not that long ago."

"Can you take your phone to him?"

"Uh, I guess."

Blaine could hear chatter in the background that slowly got louder. _'Here Kurt, it's Blaine.'_

There was a long pause before he heard anything else.

"Hey Blaine, sorry I didn't call you—"

"What happened, Kurt?"

"Nothing, it was just—"

"Kurt."

"Blaine, can we do this later?"

"No, Finn just text me worried about you and the whole _Karofsky_ situation that apparently happened today."

He let out a defeated sigh. "Karofsky threatened me. One of the coaches heard him and stepped in. It was a little chaotic from there, but I wasn't involved."

"What do you mean chaotic?"

"Puck said Karofsky tried to hit a teacher, but Finn said it was just a shove. Either way, he's been suspended and Puck thinks they'll expel him."

"Was today the first time he threatened you since that day in the parking lot?"

The silence made Blaine's face flush from the anger held just under the surface.

"How many times?"

"Blaine…"

"How many times, Kurt?" His voice was still calm, almost clinical in his questioning.

"I don't know. A lot. Ever since that day when he kis—that day in the locker room."

"What did he say?"

"He said he'd kill me if I told. I started to think he really would." Kurt choked out a sob and Blaine pushed his anger down.

"I know you're not okay, but your Dad and Finn are there, right? You won't be alone tonight?"

"I won't be alone."

"God, Kurt, why didn't you tell someone?"

Kurt didn't answer, but Blaine heard him crying through the line.

"Kurt?"

"I have to go. My dad…"

Blaine sighed. "Okay. I'll be home on Saturday. Will you call or text me tomorrow and let me know how you are?"

"I'll text. And we can talk this weekend. I love you."

"I love you, too."

The call ended and Blaine wanted to throw the phone against the wall. He'd always been a very even-keeled person, but in that moment he was beyond angry. And he wasn't sure who all it was aimed at.

….

Kurt sent a quick text off the next day to let Blaine know he was staying home for the day, but was fine.

Blaine replied with a simple 'ok' and that's when Kurt knew he had really messed up.

….

Blaine was quiet the entire drive home. His mom tried her best to spark a conversation, but he made it fairly clear that talking was not on the agenda for this car ride.

When they pulled into the driveway, Blaine wanted to go straight to his room to clear his head for a bit.

"Kurt's on the porch swing and he looks upset."

Blaine just sighed. His mom grabbed his bag, let Roxy out, and said she'd start dinner while Blaine talked to Kurt.

"Hey, I wasn't sure when you'd be home."

Blaine leaned against the porch railing instead of sitting down. "Yah, long drive."

"You're mad."

"Yes."

"At me?"

Blaine bent his head forward and considered his answer. "I honestly don't know."

"Please don't be mad at me." Kurt's broken plea barely came out as a whisper.

"You lied. You said you were safe."

"I thought I was when I told you that!"

"But then things changed and you never said anything. Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone, Blaine!"

"I'm not just anyone, Kurt!"

"Please don't yell at me. I swear, I wanted to. But, I didn't want to worry you. And I was dealing with it."

"Dealing with it? By letting it get to the point where you actually thought he would kill you? What if someone hadn't overheard him the other day?"

"I don't know." The porch swing creaked and then Blaine felt arms around him and Kurt's tears against his neck. "I'm sorry."

Blaine's hands rested on Kurt's forearms for a few seconds before he lightly pulled them away from his body. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Blaine… please…"

Blaine released his hold on Kurt's arms and turned towards the front door. "I should help my mom with dinner. We can talk… later."

Kurt's crying was no longer silent. "I'm so, so sorry, Blaine."

He nodded. "I know."

He could still hear Kurt crying as he closed the front door.

….

Kurt stood on the porch for what felt like a lifetime. His tears had finally stopped, but he was sure they would start again at any moment. Why was Blaine overreacting to this? Kurt knew he should've told him, but every time they talked Blaine was so tired and overwhelmed. Kurt didn't want to add to that.

And he didn't lie! He just didn't say anything. Now his boyfriend wouldn't even hug him. Blaine left him crying, alone. Kurt was in shock.

Somehow, he finally made himself walk back across the lawn to his house.

Kurt was wrong when he thought things couldn't get worse.

….

Dinner that night at the Anderson home was quiet. Mr. Anderson was the first to break the silence.

"Why are you sulking, Blaine?"

"I'm not, sir. Just tired from the trip."

"Your mother and I heard that little exchange between you and the neighbor boy."

"It was…" He wanted to say nothing, but that was far from the truth. "We'll work it out."

"Well, in my opinion, you're far too attached to each other. I've seen the phone bill and he's practically the only one you call or text."

"Dad…"

"I'm just saying that he'll be going off to New York next year and you'll be staying right here so there's no point in continuing whatever it is you think you have with him."

His mother's fork clanked against the plate as it dropped. "James!"

"It's true, Christina."

"Blaine may get into school in New York also. He just finished up the last of his applications."

"He can't make it in New York. He needs people to support him and right now that's his family. He'll take online college classes or maybe get into OSU. We all need to look at this logically."

He didn't want to listen to his parents argue or his father's words about him that were filled with nothing but disappointment. "Can I be excused?"

Blaine didn't wait for an answer before he pushed back and went to his room.

….

Blaine waited until the following evening to venture next door. He knocked hesitantly and then worried that he should've called before just coming over.

The door swung open and Carol's cheerful voice greeted him. "Hey sweetie, we were just finishing dinner. Do you want me to make you a plate?"

"No thank you. I just came to talk to Kurt."

"Oh, sure. Come on in."

He waited awkwardly while Carol walked back into the dining room to retrieve Kurt.

"Blaine?"

"Hey, I didn't mean to interrupt dinner. I could come back."

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you're here. Let's go up to my room."

Blaine followed him and then sat hesitantly on the end of the bed. He felt Kurt sit up near the headboard and neither talked for a minute.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. You needed me the other day and I pushed you away." Blaine rubbed his hands together nervously. "I was so hurt though, Kurt. You lied by omission and you knew that I was already worried about Karofsky. You not telling me made me feel like you didn't trust me. And I just thought that… I thought that you did."

"I do! I should've told you. I trust you, I swear."

"Maybe you think you do, but it's not in what you say, it's in what you do." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted so badly to be there for you. It was hard leaving you after Rachel's party."

"You're here for me now."

"You have to let me be there for you all the time. For weeks you've been feeling like this and all you gave me was the false sense that things were okay."

"I thought that I was protecting you."

"I don't want you to protect me. Trust me, I've had enough of that in my life."

"Blaine…"

"I don't want to fight about this anymore."

"So are we okay?"

Blaine bent forward, his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. "I think that—"

"Blaine, please say we're okay. I don't want to lose you."

"You're not losing me. I just think maybe we need to take a step back. I mean, we jumped into this pretty quickly and now being apart, it's just harder than I think either of us thought."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I'm just not sure how this can work right now."

"Blaine, we'll make it work. I'll tell you everything and we'll talk everyday like before and we just need to make it to graduation."

"It's not that easy."

"It is if you want it to be. Please try with me."

"Graduation isn't going to solve everything, Kurt. What's going to happen when you get into NYADA and I'm still stuck back in Ohio? Things are only going to get worse. It's already too hard being two hours away. How do you think it will be when we're states apart?"

"But it won't be like that. I'll get into NYADA and you'll get into Juilliard or we'll both go to OSU."

Blaine chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "You don't get it."

"You're right! All I want is to be with you and I'll do anything to make that happen. I don't care if you're two hours away or two days away or next door."

"I'm really sorry. I have to be selfish here. And the more attached I get to you now, the harder things will be then. I want you in my life, Kurt. But for now, all I can handle is friendship."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I just think this is what's best for now. I'll always be here for you, let's just take some time to get perspective."

Kurt laughed bitterly. "Perspective? I don't need perspective, Blaine. I need my _boyfriend_ to forgive me for making a mistake."

"You're angry now and I completely understand that. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow?"

"Since apparently I don't get a vote, I guess we'll talk whenever you want, _Blaine_." His name on Kurt's tongue sounded venomous.

"I'll.. I guess I'll text you tomorrow."

Kurt didn't reply as Blaine left.

….

Trust.

A small word with a depth of meaning and emotion and power.

Children learn to trust from birth. An infant trusts that their caregiver will come when they cry. A child trusts that their needs will be met as they grow. A teenager trusts that their loved ones will look out for them.

The thing with trust, though, is that it takes time to develop. You have to earn trust and prove yourself trustworthy to others. Developing trust is an investment of time and effort.

But the breaking of trust can take an infinitesimally small amount of time.

When Blaine was a child, he learned quickly about the different facets of trust. He knew his mother would never betray his trust. He hoped the few friends he had would prove trustworthy.

The first time another kid picked on him and a teacher waved it off as 'kids being kids,' he knew that not everyone should have his trust.

Losing his sight changed everything. Blaine had to accept that he didn't necessarily get to choose the people he should trust in the beginning. People no longer _looked_ trustworthy or not. He didn't have the same visual cues that he took for granted before. But the one thing he knew for certain was that his mother could be trusted with anything and through her, Blaine learned to trust again. Albeit in a different way.

In the beginning, he learned to trust very easily as a necessity. When you need help just doing basic tasks like maneuvering in unfamiliar locations, eating meals, and finding the bathroom, you become less scrutinizing of those that offer a hand. But as Blaine became more independent, he began to build thicker walls. These walls protected him, kept him from trusting too many people in order to keep from getting hurt.

Blaine's vulnerability was sheltered behind these walls. He lived in his bubble of safety – home and school – where he was protected.

It wasn't until Kurt Hummel came into his life that he ever felt a crack in his walls. It scared him to death.

He ran the second he thought that Kurt might hurt him. It wasn't even that Kurt had actually broken his trust. Kurt had tried to protect Blaine, to keep the negative away, to bear the burden alone. But by doing so, Blaine felt like Kurt didn't trust him enough. So Blaine pushed him away, built thicker walls, and went on the defensive. In hindsight, it could've been an overreaction.

As Blaine fought the urge to cry, he tried not to hate himself for being so broken.

….

Kurt woke in a cold sweat. The voice in his head sending shivers down his spine.

_Where's your boyfriend? Poor Hummel – all alone. No one to protect you so you better keep quiet. Would hate to see that pretty little face of yours get hurt. Or worse._

He threw off the covers and got out of bed. There would be no more sleep tonight. After days of shutting himself away and ignoring the reality, he decided he needed Blaine in his life in whatever capacity he could have him.

….

Blaine still didn't agree with Kurt's decision to not tell him about the threats, but it was done and it was time to move forward. He missed him, wanted him, if only as a friend. While that still left Blaine vulnerable, he knew he couldn't just walk away.

He'd sent three texts that week to Kurt with no response, so Blaine was surprised when he received a response from his fourth text asking Kurt if he wanted to get together for lunch. He was even more shocked when Kurt said yes.

They said quick hellos as they met at Kurt's car and Blaine opened the door for Roxy.

"I hope it's okay, but I actually packed a picnic lunch and figured since it's an unseasonably warm day we could go to this really nice park I know of."

"A picnic? No snow on the ground does not equal unseasonably warm. It's like 45 degrees out. I wouldn't exactly call that picnic weather."

"Just go with it. It will be fun! We have tons of layers on!"

"You might be insane. I can't believe I'm agreeing to a picnic in the middle of winter. Apparently I am insane also."

Kurt wiggled in his seat as he started the car and for the time being the tension had dissipated.

When they got to the park, Kurt instructed Blaine to sit on the blanket while he set everything up. He'd made finger sandwiches, hummus with an assortment of veggies, and lemonade.

"You outdid yourself, Mr. Hummel."

"Yes, well, I guess I wanted you all to myself today."

"Kurt…"

"No, I know, just friends. But I can want to spend some time alone with my friend, right?" Kurt's words sounded tentative – almost as if he were afraid to even call Blaine his friend.

"Of course."

They ate in silence for a while, neither sure what conversation topics to venture into.

"I know you're sneaking sandwiches to Roxy."

"What? No I'm not. I'm just… eating… quietly… by myself."

"Really? Because she's been inching away from my side towards you for the last ten minutes and now I can hear her smacking on something."

"Fine. But she was totally giving me puppy dog eyes."

Blaine laughed, but Kurt stayed quiet. A cold breeze started to pick up, lifting the ends of their blanket.

"You know, I really am sorry."

"I know, Kurt."

"And I know you're hurt right now and you think us being apart is for the best. I don't agree with it, but I'll respect your decision. We want two different things. And I can't make you change your mind. But hopefully you will. And I'd like to think I'll still be here when you do."

Blaine felt Kurt's hand in his own. He squeezed back reassuringly. "I hope that if I change my mind you're still here also. But if I don't change my mind, we'll always be friends."

"Yah…"

There was a quiet resignation in Kurt's voice.

For a brief moment, Blaine thought about what walls Kurt had likely built to protect himself. He hoped he wasn't responsible for any of the cracks that may be there.

He remembers Kurt begging him, the way his voice cracked on a whispered plea – a sound he'd never heard from the boy before.

Blaine wondered if Kurt's instinct was not only to protect himself, but the loved ones he let behind those walls. He realized then just how small that group of people was – how few people Kurt let get close.

Blaine felt a shiver wrack through his body. He wasn't sure if it was the cold weather or where his hand was still grasping Kurt's.

….

After the Thanksgiving holiday, communication between them consisted of text messages only. They were able to maintain a level of friendly banter, but there was still an undercurrent of awkwardness. Kurt felt like Blaine had given up on their relationship too easy. He still loved him and wanted him in his life. Unfortunately, it was in a limited capacity.

Glee club won Sectionals, so that managed to improve his spirits for a few days before the high wore off and he no longer had the distraction. He missed hearing Blaine's voice. He missed falling asleep at the end of their Skype sessions. He was pining away and he knew it was pathetic.

He couldn't stop though.

….

Blaine studied tirelessly for the semester's final exams. It was easy to throw himself into things, let his mind narrow in on one thing, thus preventing it from wandering to other things. Every time he picked up the phone to call Kurt, Blaine could hear his father's voice in his head telling him to be logical – to accept his fate that he would never leave Ohio. People like him just weren't destined for big things.

This was a low point in his life. Things hurt now, but he knew it was for the best. Blaine had to realize where his place was. He'd let his mother and Kurt construct irrational dreams in his head.

Kurt was going to go on and do amazing things. Blaine was a fool for thinking he would be along for the ride.

New York wasn't an option. Being with Kurt wasn't an option.

If only his heart would listen on both accounts.

….

Blaine had been working in the music room most of the day. His aunt was going to drive him home tomorrow, but it sounded like most of the other kids were heading out as soon as possible now that the semester was over.

When he got back to his room, his roommate was packing the last of his things.

"Principal Foster just brought you a package – it's on your bed. Looks like you got an early Christmas present."

Blaine furrowed his brow as he sat on the bed. "Thanks."

He picked up the box and turned it in his hands, feeling along the sides. He reached over to his desk and grabbed the scissors to cut the tape. Inside he found something squishy, awkwardly wrapped in paper that crinkled loudly. A heavy envelope sat on top.

"I'm out of here, man. You need anything before I go?"

"No, have a good one."

The room was eerily quiet with his roommate gone. Blaine took the envelope out and felt the weight of it in his hands. It was thick. He couldn't feel anything on the outside to indicate its sender. He wanted to at least have some idea to determine who best to go to for it to be read to him with the least amount of embarrassment.

He slid open the envelope and pulled the letter out. Even folded, he knew immediately _what_ it was, though still not who the author was.

He unfolded the pages and skimmed his hand along the braille before moving up to start at the beginning.

_Dear Blaine,_

_You won't believe how long it took me to figure out how to get a braille letter printed, let alone how to actually write in braille. I am forever indebted to your mother for her help with the brailler, though I assure you she has not read this. All mistakes are my own and I can only hope that the words on this page reflect accurately what I want to say._

Blaine stopped himself for a moment, taking a deep breath and smiling. Kurt. Kurt had written him a letter he could actually read. No one had ever done that for him.

_I miss you terribly. I haven't held up my part of this friendship and I want to change that starting now. When you come home for Christmas break, I want to hang out with you every day like we used to over the summer. You have been kinder to me than just about anyone else on this planet and I am thankful for you every day. You're a stubborn one, Mr. Anderson, but I want you in my life forever. We will be the best of friends for years to come and I promise to treasure that always._

_My hope for you this Christmas is that you are able to believe in yourself more. You have so much potential, so many gifts to offer the world, none of which are hindered by your blindness. I will be your number one cheerleader no matter where you end up or what you do._

_But __**I**__ believe that next fall, you will be amazing the professors and students alike at Juilliard. So to help you get in that mindset as well, I have included a small gift in this package. You may open it now – I'll wait._

Blaine laughed and reached into the box. He ripped at the paper and felt soft fleece beneath his fingers. He ran his hands over every inch of it, stopping to trace the raised ink on the front.

_It's a Juilliard sweatshirt; black with white writing that says 'Juilliard' and then 'New York' under that. It has piano keys in the shape of the New York skyline. I hope you like it. Please wear it and continue to dream. Don't give up on yourself. I sent this to your school because I know not everyone is supportive of this particular dream. I know his opinion weighs heavily on you, so for now you can wear this around your dorm as a reminder of our friendship._

_I love you._

_-Kurt_

Blaine set the letter on his desk and wiped at the tears streaked across his cheek. He pulled the sweatshirt on over his shirt and again ran his fingers over the writing on the front.

He opened his computer and took what was hopefully a relatively centered picture of himself in the hoodie smiling. He sent it to Kurt through Skype with a simple message – _I love you, too._

….

Blaine's first day home had been awkward when they met up because Kurt wasn't sure whether to hug Blaine or not. He was able to relax when Blaine pulled him in close and held on like he was falling.

"Thank you for my gift. No one has ever done something that nice for me before."

Kurt rubbed his back in a soothing manner and Blaine pulled away to quickly wipe the tears forming in his eyes. "I'm glad you liked it."

Kurt watched Blaine fidget for a minute before gathering himself again. "Do you want your gift now?"

"You really didn't have to get me any—"

"Kurt."

"Yes, okay, I would like my gift now." They both laughed.

Blaine pulled a small box out and handed it to Kurt. He lifted the top off and found a small card sitting atop the tissue paper. It read, 'For the cold NY winters. Love, B.' Kurt pulled back the tissue paper and his mouth fell open as soon as he saw it.

"Oh wow."

He pulled the greenish-grey cashmere scarf out of the box and wrapped it around his neck.

"Blaine, this is beautiful."

"From the way the saleslady described it, I thought it would match your eyes. It's not exactly designer, but-"

"I love it."

Blaine beamed and Kurt couldn't help but launch forward and envelop the boy in a hug.

"That might be the best reaction to a gift I've ever received."

Kurt jumped up and pranced in front of the mirror. "We'll have to go shopping now so I can have something fabulous to wear it with."

And as simple as that, the friendship was back.

Things don't always stay so simple though.

….


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine didn't want to go to Puck's New Year's Eve party. From the way Kurt described it, there were going to be entirely too many people there – drinking and crowding around and unfamiliar to him. But after Kurt's eighth whiney 'Blaaaaine, pleeeeease?' he gave in. He knew Kurt wouldn't go without him and he didn't want to ruin anyone's night. Kurt had promised to stay by his side the entire night and said they could leave if it sucked.

When they arrived, the party was going full force already. They walked by some familiar voices that sounded several drinks in. Blaine heard someone yell 'Hey, Stevie Wonder!' before grabbing his ass and bouncing off. He was pretty sure that was Santana. He really hoped that was Santana.

Five minutes in and Blaine had never been this uncomfortable socially. He squeezed both hands that were attached to Kurt – the one holding his hand and the one gripping his upper arm.

"We're almost to the back."

They reached a slightly quieter and less packed area of the house. Puck came over and said they needed to catch up, thrusting two cups towards them. Blaine brought it to his nose and it smelled sweet, fruity.

"Puck said it's his special punch. Not sure if you want to drink it or not."

Blaine thought of his nerves and then shrugged. "Why not…"

He took two big gulps before sputtering a bit. Kurt patted him on the back and laughed. "Easy tiger."

"Holy hell, what is in that?"

"Who knows, probably a little of everything." Kurt bumped their cups together. "Cheers."

Blaine finished the rest of his cup.

They found an unoccupied corner of a couch and squeezed in close together. Most of the songs weren't really Blaine's style, but they both sang along loudly to the ones they knew. Sometime during their singing, someone had brought him another cup and Kurt told him it was okay so he drank from it. He took this cup a little slower, sipping rather than gulping. The music was much too loud for them to talk, so Blaine just tipped his head onto Kurt's shoulder as he felt the alcohol start to affect him.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Do you want to go or wait for me here?"

Blaine didn't have to go and he felt a little odd just tagging along to the bathroom. "I can stay here."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

Kurt gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek and then Blaine just felt cold where their bodies had been pressed together. He sipped some more on his drink and emptied the cup before he knew it. Three songs later, Blaine was a little worried that Kurt wasn't back yet. His mind felt fuzzy and he tilted his head back against the couch. Two more songs and Blaine had begun to work himself into a panic. What if something happened to Kurt? He said he'd be right back and it's been too long. The thoughts were swirling a mile a minute in his head. He reached his arm out across the couch until he felt someone.

"Hey, do you see Kurt?"

"Who the hell is Kurt?" The boy sounded angry and Blaine withdrew his hand.

Slowly, Blaine pushed himself to his feet and reached out to help maneuver. He only made it a few steps before he ran into someone.

"What the hell, man?"

"Sorry, I'm looking for Kurt."

Blaine felt unsteady on his feet. Spinning, feeling, grasping, searching. The music too loud and he couldn't focus. He's pushed and pulled, too many people, too close, too much.

He only made it a few more feet before his hands brushed against flesh.

"Dude, not cool." He felt someone crowding in close before a hand was snaking between them, pushing the other boy off.

"He's blind and gay, Scooter. Trust me, he's not trying to grope your girl."

Blaine's arm is grabbed and he's maneuvered away from the crowd.

"What exactly are you doing other than literally stumbling blindly through a crowd?"

"Santana," he breathed with relief. "It's Kurt. He went to the bathroom and then didn't come back and I was worried that something happened."

"I see him, he's making his way over, just chill out."

Blaine had to look a mess. He was scared and on the verge of tears, but thankfully he held them back.

"Blaine? Oh god. I went to the couch and you weren't there."

"Where were you? You were gone for like six songs!"

"There's only one bathroom down here and some guy puked all over the floor. I had to go upstairs and there was a line. I didn't realize how long I was gone."

Kurt's hands rubbed up and down his arms and Blaine's panic lowered with each touch.

"Just don't leave me. I didn't… I thought that maybe Karofsky was here and something happened."

"Blaine… I'm so sorry." He was wrapped in Kurt's arms then. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I need you. Why do I need you so much?" Blaine wanted to cry, mostly out of embarrassment, but also because of the helplessness he felt minutes earlier.

"Shh, I need you, too. It's okay. You're okay."

"Seriously, this is getting way too deep and I think you two are about to turn all Finchel up in here and make me want to barf. I'm going back to gettin' my dance on with Britt."

Santana's comments had distracted him and the tears and embarrassment ebbed away. Blaine smiled against Kurt's shoulder. He felt a little like an idiot for overreacting, but the alcohol was starting to kick in even more now.

"Are you giggling?"

Blaine tried to halt his movement and force his mouth into a straight line. Kurt pulled away from him and for some reason that made Blaine practically cackle.

"Oh my word, letting you drink may have been a mistake."

Blaine stopped giggling and his face became serious. "Stay with me."

Kurt continued rubbing Blaine's arm, but didn't reply.

Blaine dropped the serious look and started giggling again. "Can we dance?"

He felt Kurt's hands in his and let Kurt guide him. He figured they would be okay as long as they didn't dance next to the guy whose girlfriend he had just groped. The magical cup fairy brought them more drinks and Blaine decided as he finished the last drop that he had reached his limit. He felt boneless dancing with Kurt, but he felt amazing. Neither of them were masters of the dance world, so they mostly just swayed to the beat. The music cut off abruptly, pulling Blaine from his reverie and he started to yell at the person talking when Kurt put his hand over his mouth and laughed.

"It's that time – count down with me! 10.. 9.. 8.."

Blaine and Kurt both shouted the numbers out.

"4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

….

Blaine looked like a kid on Christmas morning, his entire face full of pure delight as he yelled out the numbers. When the countdown ended, Blaine's lips were on Kurt's before Puck even said 'happy new year.'

He was shocked at first, but opened easily and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck as the boy kissed him with such passion. Kurt wasn't sure how long they kissed, but he heard a faint 'wanky' from next to them. When they pulled apart, they were both gasping for breath.

"I think—"

But then Blaine was kissing him again and Kurt forgot whatever he was going to say.

….

At some point, they ended up curled together on the couch. Kurt heard Blaine groan next to him and he peeked one eye open to see the sun streaming through the curtains. He stretched and started to get up when a hand grabbed him.

"Stop moving. You're rocking the couch."

"I'm just going to go get some water."

The hand released and Kurt made his way into the kitchen. He opened several cabinets before he found some Tylenol and then filled two glasses of water.

When he got back to the couch, Blaine had snuggled further into the couch where Kurt had been laying.

"Blaine, sit up."

"Head hurts."

"I know. I have Tylenol and water. Sit up and drink it."

Blaine pushed himself to a sitting position, head lolling like he had no control of his neck.

"Open."

Blaine followed instructions and Kurt placed the pills in his mouth before bringing the glass to his lips to drink. Kurt cradled the side of Blaine's head in his hand, his thumb lightly tracing the scar over Blaine's eyebrow.

Several others in the group began to stir and Brittany suggested they all go out for pancakes. Most just groaned, but they had two cars full of people headed to Denny's within 15 minutes.

….

After breakfast, Kurt and Blaine said their goodbyes and headed home. It was still before noon, so Kurt figured his dad would be surprised to see him.

He kept chancing quick looks over to Blaine who just leaned his head against the cool window. Kurt wondered if Blaine even remembered the night before.

Kurt nearly swerved the car when Blaine spoke up out of nowhere – his voice hoarse, but the words clear.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Hangovers make you psychic now?" Kurt was going for light, but the words came out far too shaky.

"It wasn't because of the alcohol."

"What wasn't?" Kurt knew, but Blaine had to say it. Kurt didn't want to assume anything that might get his hopes up.

"The kiss. I didn't kiss you because I was drunk." Blaine's head hadn't moved from the window.

"Okay."

The silence stretched for the last few miles home. Kurt pulled into the driveway and put the car in park.

"Blaine, I—"

"I kissed you because I love you. And for a few brief minutes, I imagined what I would do if something happened to you. So I just wanted to be with you in the moment and just love you and kiss you."

"So what does this mean?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say now."

"You don't have to say anything."

Blaine smiled shyly and got out of the car.

Kurt got out and walked around to where Blaine stood, immediately drawing him into a hug. He kissed his forehead and then they both turned to go home.

….

They slept most of New Year's Day – too tired and hungover to do much else. Kurt came over mid-morning the following day equipped with enough baked goods to feed an army. Blaine knew Kurt baked when he was stressed, so the conversation between them was inevitable. He didn't think it would start from word one.

"So do we just pretend our midnight make-out session didn't happen?"

Blaine froze mid-bite and then set the cookie down in front of him. "Wow, okay, uhm, no?"

"Are you asking me?"

"No, I mean no let's not pretend like it didn't happen."

"What does that mean for us now?"

"I don't know and I know that's not an answer. I just don't want to hurt you and lead you on or anything."

"So, just friends?"

"You know you'll always be more than just a friend to me. You'll be in my life until we're both eighty and wrinkled and wheelchair-bound."

"Beautiful picture you've painted there."

Blaine could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm sorry."

"I was kidding, I'm sure we'll be fabulous when we're old."

"No, I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. I've never had this." He gestured between the two of them. "I'm really bad at this. I wish things were easier."

"Me too. Can we at least cuddle? Friends cuddle."

Blaine grinned and moved his cookie. "I'm always down for cuddling."

….

They didn't talk about what happened between them on New Year's Eve after that. Neither boy pushed for more and they settled into an easy friendship. There were many things left unsaid, but for the time being, that was okay. As the weeks passed, any awkwardness subsided. They flirted and teased and gossiped. Being best friends was a welcomed comfort.

….

He was shaking. Shaking and freaking out and he couldn't feel his legs. His father had left almost twenty minutes ago and he'd hidden himself away in the choir room instead of returning to class. Kurt's eyes shifted rapidly between his phone in one hand and the letter in the other. He'd sent off a quick text to Blaine immediately after his father left saying 'call me asap' and then quickly sent another that said 'don't worry, nothing bad.'

The phone lit up and he answered it before it could even get a full ring out.

"Blaine!"

"Kurt, what's going on? I just got out of English and got your text."

"I got my letter."

"Your letter?"

"From NYADA. I'm a finalist!"

Kurt heard a loud yell and then Blaine's hushed apologies to people around him. "I'm so happy for you. What now?"

"I have to sing for them in May. Live. Oh my god, what am I going to sing?"

"You have time. You'll figure it out. This is really amazing, Kurt."

"Thanks. Since my dad was obviously the first to know, I wanted to make sure you were the second."

"I wish I could be there to help you celebrate."

"You could come home next week for Valentine's. I'd ply you with chocolate treats and make you watch cheesy movies with me."

"I can't this time. Skype Valentine's chat? We could still watch a movie and eat chocolate."

"I wouldn't miss it. So have you heard from any of the schools you applied to yet?"

There was silence for a few moments before Blaine answered.

"I… yah. I don't think most of them will come for another couple months, but I heard from Juilliard."

"What? And? What did you hear?"

"I got invited to their auditions in March."

"WHAT?" Kurt practically shrieked. "When did you find out?"

"Like a week or two ago. It's no big deal."

"Please tell me you are kidding me. I can't believe you've known for over a week and you didn't tell me! We've got so much planning to do!"

"Kurt, no, stop for a second. It's not a big deal because I don't think I'm going to go."

"Okay, now I know you're either kidding or you've completely lost it. How can you NOT go?"

"It's just going to be so expensive to go to the audition, let alone if by some miracle I get in and have tuition and room and board and food to pay for. It's not really practical for me."

"That's not you talking and you know it."

"Kurt…"

"Can't you see what an amazing opportunity this is? People would probably kill to be in your shoes."

"Look, we can talk about it later. I don't want to argue on today of all days. NYADA better watch out."

"You know I'm not letting this conversation go that easily, but I do have glee and you're stubborn."

"I learned everything I know about being stubborn from one Mr. Kurt Hummel."

Kurt scoffed. "So many things I want to say about that. I'll talk to you later."

"Of course. Bye Kurt."

This was far from over. Kurt would make sure of it.

….

Every time he brought it up, Blaine deflected. Kurt was starting to get exasperated. He'd heard Blaine play, saw the way he felt the music in his soul. This was one decision that Kurt wasn't going to let Blaine regret.

….

The call woke him up entirely too early on a Sunday, but he recognized the ringtone for his mother and couldn't ignore it.

"Hm'ello?"

"Blaine, honey, get up and get dressed. I'll be there in about thirty minutes and we'll go to brunch."

Blaine shot up in bed. "Huh? You're here now? Today? Soon?"

"Surprise!"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, now get up sleepy head."

He was up and out of bed in a flash, stumping his toe against the desk, and hobbling to his dresser. Panic. He felt panicked. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, mind racing a mile a minute.

The knock at his door made him stop and take a breath. Surely he'd been breathing this whole time, right? He felt a little light-headed.

His mother's arms were around him before he even got the door all the way open. "Beautiful, beautiful boy. I've missed you."

"Mom, it's been like a month."

"Too long. I should come visit more. I don't see you enough."

She had unwrapped herself from him, now focused on smoothing his clothes and sweeping the hair out of his face. "Mom, you know I love you, but why are you here?"

"Brunch! I can't remember the last time we had brunch."

"You drove two hours to have brunch?"

"I would've told you sooner, but it was a last minute decision. I just had to see you." She pulled him back in for another hug, this one less frantic.

They went to their favorite spot – a little café that they used to frequent every Sunday when the family lived in Columbus. Blaine always ordered chocolate chip pancakes and his mother always ordered the cheese omelet. It was their thing.

They didn't talk about anything of real importance. Instead, they just reveled in the moment, the memories, and the good company.

….

It had been years since they'd last gone to the pond around the corner from their old house. She used to take Blaine there to feed the ducks. It was almost as if the ducks knew he couldn't see them, or wouldn't hurt them at least, because they flocked to him. Some days he would be completely surrounded, head thrown back laughing as the ducks crowded him to get a piece of bread.

There were no ducks today – still not quite warm enough to bring them back north. They still sat quietly on the bench just listening to the calm surroundings. As Christina looked at Blaine now, a sweet smile on his face, she saw that laughing little boy in a moment of pure happiness and it warmed her heart.

"I know about Juilliard."

His smile dropped. "You do?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I… I don't know. Did Kurt tell you?"

"Not exactly. Your Aunt Marcie told me you put your school address on only that application. I checked the website to see when letters would go out and found a messageboard where several people said they got letters a couple weeks ago. I may have led Kurt to believe that I already knew one way or the other about Juilliard. You should've seen how his face lit up when he thought you'd told me. That just confirmed it for me."

"I should've told you. I just know it's not worth the trip since I won't end up going there."

"Blaine. If you want this, I will take you."

"I have to be sensible, mom. It would really just be easier if I stayed close to home."

"Easier… maybe. But it's not about easy. It's about what you want."

"I'm not sure I'm really cut out for New York. It's too busy and crowded and it would probably be hard on Roxy too."

"Honey, stop. You can come up with a hundred excuses to talk yourself out of it. I just need to know if going to Juilliard is something you want."

"I want… yes, I want it. But it's too expensive and I know dad thinks OSU would be a better fit."

Christina grabbed his hand and scooted closer. "We can afford it, Blaine. Money is not the issue. And this isn't about what your father wants or thinks. This is about you."

"But I don't want to disappoint him."

"You don't."

"I feel like I do." A single tear rolled down his cheek and she lifted her hand to wipe it away. "First I lose my sight in the accident and then I told him I was gay. I know he wishes he could just have a normal son."

"Those aren't things you can change. He loves you, Blaine. He just doesn't know how to show it. He thinks by keeping you close that will protect you. He can't bear to see you hurt any more."

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut as more tears came.

Christina blinked back the tears that formed in her own eyes. "You are so special, Blaine. Don't you realize that? And as much as I want to protect you also, you're not my little boy anymore. There's a whole world out there to experience. Are you going to get hurt? Yes, but everyone gets hurt. You're also going to be an extraordinary musician or teacher or whatever you want to be. You can do this if you really want it."

He looked so small as the tears continued. "What if I don't get in?"

"What if you _do_?"

"It will be so hard, mom."

"But it will be so worth it."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

His mouth quirked up at the side. "Okay, I want to audition."

Christina jumped up, pulling Blaine with her and into a hug. "You can do this."

"Can we just not tell Dad yet? Not until after I know if I'm accepted or not?"

She pulled back and studied the trepidation on Blaine's face. "Sure, honey. Whatever you want."

She hooked her arm in his as they walked back to the car.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"None of it matters anymore – we've got to prepare for your audition. Let's track down your music instructor."

….

That night, Kurt saw his phone light up on his bedside table.

**Blaine**

_Thank you_

**Kurt**

_So, you're not mad?_

**Blaine**

_Of course not. I know my mother and her tricky little ways._

**Blaine**

_I'm going to the audition_

**Kurt**

_Eeeeeeeeeee_!

**Kurt**

_You are going to dazzle them_

**Blaine**

_I hope so_

**Kurt**

_I know so_

….

He'd practiced for weeks. Juilliard had very specific guidelines on what he could include in his audition piece and he was determined to be well prepared.

His entire life had been taken over by Mendelssohn, Debussy, and Stravinsky. Etudes, sonatas, and fugues filled his dreams. As long as he was playing, he felt completely confident. The second the last note faded, he shook like a leaf.

He had to try. He could do this.

….

The story his father got was that they were spending the weekend at Aunt Marcie's helping her clean out her garage and have a garage sale. It wasn't really surprising that his father never questioned it.

Blaine's audition was Monday afternoon, so the plan was for his mother to tell his father that she'd decided to stay a couple extra days to help clean up and haul away the leftover junk. The truth was they would soon be on a plane to New York, a hotel booked for just one night, a practice room reserved for the entire morning, and a return flight ticket in hand that got them in late Monday night. They would spend just over 24 hours in New York City.

….

"Hey, uh, Kurt!"

It was already too early on a Sunday to be up and out, and he really didn't feel like talking to anyone on top of that. But he wouldn't be rude, especially since this was the first time the man had addressed him.

"Morning Mr. Anderson."

"Do you have a moment? I was just about to come over and see if anyone was home. I see your father's truck is gone."

"He goes in early on Sundays to do the bookkeeping."

"Look, my car won't start. I think it's the alternator, but I don't have time to check it out, especially in this suit."

Kurt stared at him unsure what else to say.

"I was wondering if you could give me a ride? I'm late for a breakfast with some new investors and I don't have time to wait for a cab."

"Uh, I… yah, okay." Kurt didn't have a good enough reason to say no. 'You're kind of a dick to your son who is someone I really care about' didn't seem like it would win him any points with anyone. He'd also never seen Mr. Anderson so frazzled. The man was usually the model of composure.

They got in the car and Kurt was given directions where to go. Kurt thought he'd had some awkward car rides before, mostly with this man's son, but this was almost painful.

"I appreciate your assistance, Kurt. My wife is out of town and this is something I can't miss."

"It's fine, really."

Kurt must've sounded annoyed because the man next to him took a deep breath and turned slightly towards the driver's side.

"I can imagine what you must think of me. I know you care about my son and sometimes I say things that can come off rather harsh."

"Harsh and unhelpful." If Kurt wasn't gripping the steering wheel so hard, he would've clamped a hand over his mouth in surprise.

"You sound like my wife."

"She's a smart woman."

"That she is. But she's a dreamer, just like Blaine. I have to make sure they keep their heads out of the clouds."

Kurt really didn't want to be disrespectful, but he wasn't sure how much further into this conversation he could get without lashing out.

"Mr. Anderson, don't you want Blaine to be happy?"

"Of course I do. There's no question."

"Then you should encourage him to keep dreaming – to dream bigger. And if one dream doesn't come to pass, he'll find another."

"I'm assuming we're talking about him going to college."

"That is one dream, yes."

"He can't do everything other kids his age can do. He has to be more careful. He has to be looked after."

"No. He really doesn't. He's going to show you one day soon."

"What are you talking about?"

Kurt closed his eyes as he came to a stop in front of the country club. "You may think whatever meeting you have this morning is important. But you're missing out on one of the most important times in your son's life."

"I hardly think a family garage sale is that important."

Kurt shrugged, a slightly guilty look on his face. "Maybe you're missing more than a garage sale."

Mr. Anderson furrowed his brow as he reached for the door. "I have to go, Kurt. Thank you for the ride."

Kurt nodded his head minutely and pulled away as soon as the door closed, his plans for the day forgotten.

….

Blaine had left Roxy in Aunt Marcie's care, thinking it would be easier to use his cane and his mother for guidance. When he stumbled just outside of their hotel, he wondered if leaving Roxy behind was the best idea.

He was a ball of nerves. His mother whispered encouraging words to him, but neither slept much that night. Somehow, his music teacher was able to pull some strings and get him a rehearsal room with a piano just down the hall from where the auditions were being held.

He made mistakes in the first nine run-throughs of his performance. When he finally got it perfect on the tenth try, he almost broke down and cried with all of the stress. Through it all, his mother sat quietly to the side offering reassurance and words of love.

An hour before his scheduled time, he left the rehearsal room to let his fingers have a short reprieve. He still practiced though – running the songs through his mind over and over, imagining the pressure on the keys beneath his touch.

When they called him in, his mother kissed his temple lightly. He thought he might hyperventilate as he allowed the young woman to lead him carefully to the stage. Every whisper, shuffle of feet, and creaking chair was like a foghorn in his ears. As he situated himself on the bench and positioned his hands to start, he was finally able to take a deep breath.

"Mr. Anderson, whenever you're ready."

It was perfectly, blissfully silent. And he began to play.

….

He'd called Sunday night and Christina ignored it. It was late enough in the evening that she could claim exhaustion and going to bed early. She sent a quick text the following morning to acknowledge his call and lie minimally to cover.

But she knew after the 3rd phone call, she would have to speak with him sooner than later. He answered before the first ring ended.

"Christina, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, James. I'm sorry I missed your calls."

"You're not at your sister's are you?"

"No. I need you to take a deep breath and just listen."

"Christina—"

"Please, James. For Blaine."

….

Blaine was a bundle of energy the second he left the auditorium. It warmed her heart to see him so happy and she smiled along with him as he rambled all the way to the airport.

He passed out before the plane had even left the ground and was still far from rested when they reached their destination a short time later. His body sagged against hers as they walked, both completely drained.

They walked out to the passenger pick-up area and Christina stopped abruptly.

….

The jolt woke him from his emotionally exhausted daze.

"Mom?"

"Blaine, your—"

"Hi, son."

"Dad? What are you doing here? I… how did you know we would be here?"

"I talked to your mother earlier. I know about your trip."

Blaine fidgeted with the strap across his shoulder, unsure what to say and feeling suddenly guilty.

"It's okay though. I'm glad she told me. You played remarkably."

"You… you heard?"

"Only a little. I can't remember the last time I heard you play. I forgot how talented you are."

"Are you mad?"

"No. You know I want the best for you, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, sometimes I don't always know what that is."

Blaine felt like crying, but he hadn't done so in front of his father since he was a child.

"You didn't have to come. This must've been a long drive for you."

His father pulled him into a hug then and whispered in his ear. "Yes, I did, Blaine. I needed to be here. And I should've been there for you."

"But you didn't even know about the audition."

"Not just the audition. I should've been there for you all along."

Blaine had never heard his father's voice hitch like that. He tightened his arms around his father and in that moment, he had never felt more loved.

….

He remembers the ride from the airport to his school being silent, but comfortable. Both his mother and father hugged him tightly as they said goodbye. Back in his room, he finally let himself breakdown, hiding his face under the covers. He was happy and scared and hopeful and anxious. If his roommate heard him cry, he didn't say anything. He faintly recalls Roxy nuzzling his head gently before he fell into the comfort of sleep.

When he woke the next morning, eyes still puffy and body still tired, he turned his phone back on. It had been off for 24 hours – one less distraction.

He had a voicemail from his Aunt Marcie wishing him luck, two texts from friends with well wishes, and sixteen texts from Kurt ranging from "they're going to love you" to "I've never been so nervous for an audition and it's not even mine!"

Blaine chose to reply to the last one: _How did it feel to be in New York?_

**Blaine**

_New York felt amazing. Bustling and loud and warm. I want to be there in the fall._

He pulled himself out of bed reluctantly and got ready for class. It was going to be a long day, but he could come back and sleep after classes.

**Kurt**

_You will be. We'll be there together._

Blaine let himself imagine it.

….


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt practiced tirelessly. Ever since getting the letter that a representative from NYADA would be in Lima to view a live performance, he'd barely allowed himself to think of anything else. He'd changed his song twice and then ended up going back to the original one. Blaine was there for him constantly. Offering reassurances, praise, and constructive criticism when needed. It never ceased to put a smile on Kurt's face when they would start up a Skype session and Blaine was wearing his Juilliard sweatshirt and a goofy grin. They Skyped at least twice a week and he always wore it. Kurt teased him at first, but stopped when he realized that the sight served as motivation for him. Kurt had to amaze the NYADA judge. He had to go to New York for college.

….

Blaine had told Kurt that he'd be there, so he'd talked his mom into picking him up that weekend. He knew that he wouldn't actually be in the audition with Kurt, but he wanted to support him. It was really bad timing – he had finals to prepare for, he had to start packing his room up, and then the letter came.

He'd had it for three days. Principal Foster was the only other person that knew it had come. She'd been so excited when she delivered it to him, but he swore her to secrecy and then tucked it away in his bag.

Good news or bad, it could wait until the weekend.

….

Kurt was fairly certain he'd hurt Blaine when he greeted him with a rather enthusiastic hug that seemed to knock the wind out of them both. It had been _months_ since he'd seen him (and a glitchy computer chat did not count).

Blaine just gave him that thousand-watt smile and pulled Kurt in for another hug. He couldn't stay long – too many last minute things to work out for his performance the following day. His nerves were out of control, but the thought of his family and friends and _Blaine_ being in the same building when he auditioned made him feel supported like he'd never been before.

He would make it through this weekend and then it would be smooth sailing until summer. The end of his high school career was in sight and the future was his for the taking.

….

The next day, Blaine rode with Kurt and his family to the school. Thankfully, Burt drove since Kurt was too distracted to be able to focus on much of anything. Blaine sat with him in the back, their hands intertwined as they rode in silence. He ran his thumb across Kurt's knuckles in a comforting gesture, his other hand petting Roxy to keep his own nerves in check.

When they arrived, there was a flurry of students and parents and teachers. After Kurt signed in, he found out where he needed to go, and then gave rushed hugs to his dad and Carol.

Blaine hugged him tightly and whispered, "You are amazing."

And with that, Kurt was gone and all they could do was wait. Finn joined them before long, as well as several other friends there to support both Kurt and Rachel. Blaine sat on a bench, Roxy curled at his feet, and tried to will the time to pass more quickly. Carol sat beside him and wrapped an arm around him, her sweet perfume somehow putting him at ease. No one said anything until Kurt and Rachel finally emerged together.

The commotion of everyone asking how it went and Kurt and Rachel's excited replies were starting to overwhelm Blaine. He held Roxy's harness tight.

When Kurt's familiar hand found his, he smiled and let the breath that he didn't know he was holding go.

"Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be here for you."

Kurt squeezed his hand and pulled him towards to exit.

….

He spent the majority of the weekend at Kurt's – or more accurately, he spent the majority of the weekend attached to Kurt's hip. It was all purely innocent, but he had missed being able to hold Kurt's hand or hug him or just lay beside him while they whispered about all of the things to come.

Sunday lunch was reserved for his family though. Blaine had specifically asked that they have a meal together – just the three of them. It wasn't so odd for this to occur, but his father had become increasingly busy with work and this was a day that he needed them both.

Blaine sat on his bed and pulled the letter out of his bag. He held it in his hands like it was fragile. It wasn't really thick, but not thin either. He took a deep breath and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

"Perfect timing. I just pulled the casserole out. Have a seat and your father should be in any minute."

Blaine sat in his usual spot, the letter placed under him for the time being. His father was jovial – Blaine had noticed a change in him since that night at the airport. His mother was her normal, loving self. In that moment, Blaine said a silent thank you for his family. Things had not been easy, but they'd all grown and learned and developed into a happy family. This was exactly where he wanted to be when he found out about his future.

….

Christina can't remember the last time they had a day like this. James was so busy with work and Blaine didn't come home as often as she'd like because of his school responsibilities. It was nice to have her family together and happy.

"I, um, wanted to…"

Blaine's uncertain words pulled her attention to him. "Wanted to what, sweetie? Is everything okay?"

"Yah, mom. I wanted to let you both know I got my letter. From Juilliard."

She let out a small gasp and set her fork down with a clank.

"When did it come? What did it say?"

"I just got it this week." He pulled the letter out and held it with both hands. "I haven't opened it yet."

"What? Aren't you excited to hear what it says?" Her mouth was no doubt gaping.

Blaine just nodded before turning slightly towards his father. "Would you open it and read it?"

Christina looked back and forth between her husband and her son. She briefly made eye contact with James and saw the slight hesitation.

"Of course." He took the letter from Blaine and flipped it over a few times in his hands. He looked back up at her and she gave him a reassuring smile. "Okay, let's see what it says."

She watched him open it with slightly shaky hands, his face not giving away any emotion.

Blaine rested his elbows on the table, his forehead pressed against his clasped hands. It looked like he was praying.

James unfolded the papers and let out a deep sigh.

"Dear Mr. Anderson," he started and then took several deep breaths. Christina prepared herself for the worst. When James started to speak again, she realized why he had paused. It was clear in his voice he was fighting back tears.

….

His father's hesitation caused the lump in his throat to get bigger.

"We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Juilliard's Bachelor of Music program for the Fall 2012 semester." His father kept reading, but Blaine didn't hear the words. He'd been accepted and his father was crying.

Blaine buried his face in his hands as his own tears fell. He let out a muffled sob as a hand reached up to uncover his face. But it wasn't the soft touch of his mother comforting him – it was his father.

"Blaine? Did you hear what I said?"

He nodded. "I got in."

"Yah, son, you did."

"Why are you crying?"

It sounded like an accusation or that he was asking for confirmation of his father's disappointment.

"I'm crying because I love you and you deserve this and I have never been more proud of you than I am in this moment."

"What?"

"You did it." His father pulled him into a hug and they both cried, now obvious tears of joy.

Another set of arms encircled him. "Sweetie, you worked so hard for this. Your father and I love you so much."

Blaine couldn't talk he was crying so hard. He pulled them both impossibly closer and let them wrap him in their warmth.

_He did it._

….

After he pulled himself together and they had celebratory apple pie, Blaine could hardly control the speed of his feet as he walked next door. Finn let him in, but by the time he yelled up to Kurt that he had a visitor, Blaine was halfway up the stairs.

"What? Oh, Blaine. Hey. I thought it was family time today?"

"It was. But I had to come tell you something before I went back to school."

Kurt grabbed his hand and led him to his room.

"Is everything okay? You're grinning like a madman, but you look like you've been crying."

"I have. Kurt, I got into Juilliard."

Kurt gripped his forearms and then roughly threw his arms around Blaine's neck. "I knew it, I knew it. I knew you'd get in. Oh my god, what did your parents say?"

"They're happy."

"Your dad too?"

"Yah, he is." Blaine could feel the tears starting to form again.

Kurt pulled back, his hands still holding on to Blaine's shoulders. "Do you finally believe me?"

"What?"

"I told you that you could do anything. And now you're going to Juilliard."

"Well, I haven't actually gotten there. I mean—I could be a colossal failure and be back here in Lima even before Christmas break."

"Stop. You have to stop doubting yourself."

"Why do you always believe in me?"

"Because I love you."

"But why?"

"Why do I love you?"

"Yes."

"I don't know how not to. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met."

"I love you too, Kurt." He held both of Kurt's hands in his own. "I'm still **in** love with you."

"I'm still in love with you too. So why aren't we together?"

"Because I am an idiot."

Blaine said it very earnestly, but Kurt couldn't help but laugh. "You do have your moments."

"Do I have to ask you to go steady again or can I just kiss you?"

"Please kiss me."

Blaine brought a hand up to cup Kurt's face. When their lips met, Blaine felt the warmth between them and he pulled away slightly to smile. "I'm so happy."

They stood there, foreheads pressed together, just breathing each other's air for a minute.

"Will you still be happy and want to be with me if I don't get into NYADA?"

"You're going to get in. But if for some reason you don't, I won't make the same mistake twice if that's what you're worried about."

"You said it would be too hard with us being states apart—"

"I know, I know. Idiot. Remember? I don't know how to do all of this. I'm obviously not an expert when it comes to relationships, but I promise I want to try. And I'll probably screw up along the way. Please just try with me?"

"Always."

….

Finals were a beating. Packing all of his stuff, even with his aunt's help, was a giant undertaking. By the time Blaine actually got home for the summer, he was completely exhausted.

Kurt still had his last week of school to finish, but he came over to Blaine's house every afternoon. They kissed and cuddled and napped.

Maybe being a little exhausted wasn't so bad.

On Kurt's last day of school, he walked into Blaine's room, kicked off his shoes, and cuddled into Blaine's side without saying a word. Blaine felt Kurt pull him close and let out a contented sigh.

"Happy day?"

"Mmm, very happy day."

"You're free now."

Kurt nuzzled his face into Blaine's neck and they lay quietly for several minutes.

"What are you thinking?"

Kurt pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's neck before answering. "Just thinking about how I'm going to spend every summer day cuddled with my boyfriend."

"Oh yah?"

"And then how I'm going to have to compare our schedules next semester so we can cuddle every day in New York."

"I like the way you're thinking."

"Mmhm. And since we'll both be living on campus, we'll have to come up with bribes to get our roommates to give us alone time."

"You're quite prepared for our possible New York future together."

"Oh, it's not just a possibility."

"Well, obviously. I mean if NYADA doesn't admit you, they're idiots."

"Turns out they're not idiots."

Blaine tensed and then reached for Kurt's face. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you know, I just happened to get my NYADA acceptance letter."

Blaine sat up, almost throwing Kurt off the bed.

"Sorry, sorry. Are you serious though?"

He laughed. "Yes, Blaine. My dad met me at school today and brought the letter. We're both going to New York."

Blaine yelled and bounced on the bed until Kurt pulled him back down.

"For my congratulations, can you shout less and kiss me more?"

He was already breathing heavily out of excitement when he leaned forward and kissed Kurt with much more fervor than the boy was expecting. They separated only when the need for air got too great.

"I expect all of my good news to be met with congratulatory kisses like that."

They lay there together for a long time, the sound of their breathing the only sound in the room.

"I'm so happy."

"Good. I am too."

….

Kurt shot straight up in bed, his eyes darting frantically around the room. He lay back down when he realized he was in his room, the blue numbers on the clock glowing back at him: 4:12am.

He lay there staring at the ceiling recounting the dream in his head. It was so vivid. Endless emotions flowed through him as he remembered every detail. He tried going back to sleep, but all he could do was close his eyes and see that face.

A new dream and another sleepless night.

….

When Blaine's dad left for work at 7:30, Kurt knew Mrs. Anderson would be up also. He threw his robe on over his pajamas and walked next door not caring about his unkempt hair or what the neighbors might say if they saw him. He knocked lightly, hoping that if he was wrong and nobody was up that he wouldn't disturb them. Mrs. Anderson opened the door with a curious look.

"Kurt? It's so early, dear. Blaine's still asleep."

"I know. I just… I—"

"Are you okay?"

"I really need to talk to him."

"It can't wait? You're not dressed, he's not expecting you this early, so I'm sure he's not dressed either."

"It's not like that, I promise. I know he'll be ok with me waking him up and I can assure you that our state of undress won't be an issue."

She seemed to be looking for something in his face, hopefully not the bags he knew were under his eyes. Whatever it was, she seemed to find as her face changed into an apologetic smile and she nodded her head.

He walked quickly to Blaine's room and let himself in quietly. As he got closer to the bed, he started to second-guess coming over so early. This could wait—Blaine looked so peaceful in his sleep. Kurt turned and walked back to the door only to be greeted by a very enthusiastic dog.

"Hey girl, shhh."

"Mom? You let'n Roxy g'out?"

"I'll let her out," he whispered as he grabbed Roxy's collar and opened the bedroom door.

"Kurt?"

"Yah, I'm sorry, I'll come back later."

"What? C'mere."

"No, no, go back to sleep."

"Okay. C'mere." His eyes were still closed, head resting against the pillow, but an arm emerged from the covers and reached for him.

Kurt walked to the bed and grabbed Blaine's hand. "I'll be back over for lunch, okay?"

"Come heeeeeeeeeere," Blaine whined and pulled Kurt closer.

He let go just long enough to kick off his slippers and remove his robe and then he slid in next to Blaine. Warm arms immediately wrapped around him and pulled him so they were face-to-face.

"You're so cute when you're all sleepy and whiney."

"You're adorable."

"You're not even awake."

"Uh huh. I thought I was just having a really good dream, but now I can feel you and I know I'm awake now."

Kurt brought his hand up and let his fingers lightly graze over Blaine's face, finally slowing their movements and tracing the scar over his eyebrow.

"Not that I'm complaining, because I definitely want to wake up to you many more mornings in the future, but why are you here so early?"

"I had a dream and I couldn't go back to sleep. I wanted to tell you about it."

"Dreams are good." Blaine sounded like he was drifting back to sleep.

"It was about a young boy with sad amber eyes."

His eyes fluttered open, the urge to slip back into the unconscious seemingly gone. "Oh yah?"

"It was like a memory- a music room full of kids singing. Two boys running down the hall hand in hand."

"Kurt…"

"Please tell me it wasn't just a dream," he whispered. His finger delicately moved back and forth across Blaine's scar. "Tell me it was you."

Blaine closed his eyes again. "It was me."

"It's like bits and pieces in my head. There was something that seemed so familiar about you, but I couldn't place it. But you remembered? You've known all this time?"

Blaine nodded.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to _make_ you remember. And even if you never did, I was okay with that. It was a long time ago."

"I don't know why the memory came to me now. Do you think this is weird? Of all the people for my family to move next door to…"

"I think it's fate."

"You believe in that?"

"I don't know how else to explain it. That day—you didn't have to talk to me, but you did. What you sang and everything you said to me… you grabbed my hand and laughed with me like I was any normal kid. And so much happened after that day that led me to this house last summer. And again, you took my hand and brought me into your life and made me feel so happy."

"You are worth so much more than you know, Blaine." Kurt placed soft kisses all over his face before Blaine rolled on top of him and kissed him hard. Blaine's tongue was hot as it licked against Kurt's lips seeking entrance. Kurt opened to him and brought his arms up around Blaine's neck, losing himself as the kiss grew deeper. Blaine's hand rubbed at the sensitive skin just beneath the waistband of Kurt's pajama bottoms as he simultaneously kissed down his neck.

"Oh god, Blaine." Kurt loved the feel of Blaine's weight on him, the soft lips now trailing across his collarbone, and the way the teasing hand at his waist was making his cock throb.

"Want to touch you."

Kurt's whimper seemed to be permission enough and Blaine quickly pushed both of their pajama pants down. When Blaine was on him again, he felt skin against skin and moaned as their cocks rubbed together. He pulled Blaine down into another bruising kiss, teeth and tongue and wild need. His hips began thrusting up almost unconsciously and Blaine soon matched his rhythm. It was almost too much, too rough, until Blaine's hand grasped them both using their pre-come to make the slide easier. Kurt felt lightheaded from the kissing and touching and heat that radiated between them. He broke the kiss, took one gasping breath of air, and cried Blaine's name as he came hard between them. Blaine kept stroking and thrusting, breathing heavily in Kurt's ear until he finally found his own release with a moan.

Kurt rolled Blaine to the side and grabbed some tissues from the bedside table to wipe up the mess between them. He reached down and pulled both of their pants back up before snuggling back into Blaine.

Blaine kissed him just behind the ear and it sent a shiver down his spine.

"I completely lied to your mom this morning without even knowing it."

"Kurt, I swear, you should really just not talk after orgasms."

"I just meant that when she let me in-"

A hand came up over his mouth. "No, not another word. Inappropriate subject matter. Sleep."

Kurt huffed, but pressed his back into Blaine and closed his eyes.

He didn't say another word, but he really hoped Mrs. Anderson hadn't heard any of that.

….


	9. Chapter 9

Summer was great. No, summer was _fantastic_.

Lazy days, no worries, just enjoying each moment.

Kurt had become increasingly more open to walking hand-in-hand with his boyfriend when they went out. Ever since Karofsky was expelled and transferred to a new school, he didn't stay on edge just waiting for an attack. He'd even heard Karofsky finally came out and was headed to OSU on a football scholarship. Kurt hoped his bully had gained perspective, but refused to waste too much time dwelling on him.

Blaine didn't seem to hold back when they were together. Kurt could definitely see that Blaine dove head first into something when he was passionate about it. Things finally felt like they were falling into place. _This_ was happiness.

….

A month before classes started, the boys planned a weekend trip to New York City. They had wanted to go just the two of them, but that was quickly shot down by both sets of parents. In his wildest dreams, Kurt never thought that Rachel Berry would be his saving grace. Having also been accepted to NYADA, she said that she'd been looking for a weekend to go explore the city before school started and convinced her dads to serve as chaperones. After a rather entertaining dinner at Rachel's house with all three sets of parents, Kurt and Blaine finally got approval for the trip.

The day was mostly gone when they arrived on Friday, so they settled for a quick dinner in the hotel's restaurant and then went to their rooms. Rachel was assigned to stay with the boys, much to their chagrin, and Kurt was fairly confident that he would strangle her before the weekend was over just to make her stop talking.

When Blaine snuggled him close that night, Kurt stopped thinking about Rachel and started thinking about New York.

….

The first day was uneventful and Blaine was relieved. A quick cab ride, staying in a hotel on the outskirts of the touristy areas, a quick dinner, and then sleep. No problems so far.

And then Saturday started and it all seemed to go downhill.

Blaine knew that familiar whine that pulled him from his pleasant dreams. "Okay, girl. Just a minute." He rolled out of bed and stumbled until he found his suitcase, throwing on a hoodie, jeans, and tennis shoes.

"Blaine?"

"Go back to sleep, Kurt. I have to take Roxy out."

"Wait, I'll go with."

"No, I can do it."

"Don't be silly, just give me a second."

"Kurt, **no**. I can do this on my own."

Kurt was quiet and Blaine felt stupid for raising his voice. Rachel started to stir and Blaine quickly fastened Roxy's harness and left the room.

Blaine asked the doorman where he could take Roxy and the man just laughed and told him to pick a part of the curb. He didn't want to wander too far, the city being unfamiliar to both him and the dog meant to guide him.

They walked to the curb and Roxy just stood next to him.

"Go potty, girl."

Roxy hesitated, but followed the command. She'd been used to having free reign of their backyard at home and a designated area at his school. Blaine was sure she was confused with the lack of grass around them. He allowed her to walk a little further down the street, sniffing and stretching her legs. The noises of the city were hard to distinguish. Car horns, people laughing, store fronts opening for the start of the day—it all seemed to come from every direction. Blaine had no point of reference to lead him. They'd walked further than he thought and for a moment as they headed back, Blaine worried that they would walk right past the hotel. He was relieved to hear the doorman call out as he got close.

It took some assistance from another hotel employee for him to get back to the elevators and press the right floor, but he relaxed once the doors closed. Thankfully, he had counted the doors the night before and again that morning, so finding the room was relatively easy.

Blaine removed Roxy's harness and set his keycard on the side table.

"Hey girl, looks like you're going to do okay in the big city, eh?"

Kurt sounded unsure and Blaine just wanted to shrink away. "Is Rachel in the bathroom?"

"No, she got dressed and went to her dads' room. I just got out of the shower, so it's all yours."

Blaine grabbed his things and skimmed along the wall until he made it into the bathroom. He turned the shower on as hot as he could stand and said a silent prayer for the rest of the day to be better.

….

They met Rachel and her dads downstairs for a light breakfast before heading off on their adventures.

They stopped at NYADA first, getting the grand tour and finding their dorms. Kurt let himself get lost in the excitement of it all, still feeling like he needed to pinch himself to prove he would be here in another month.

Then it was off to Central Park where they seemed to wander for hours. They'd planned to take a boat tour next, so Blaine excused himself to let Roxy tend to her business again. Kurt took something out of his shoulder bag and walked over to them.

"You know, I've read up on it and technically you're exempt from the pooper-scooper law, but never fear, Roxy, I am here to help."

"Kurt, do you have a bag? I can clean up after her."

"It's fine, I've already got it. You know I have to love you a lot to pick up poop."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know. There are a lot of things I don't have to do, but I still do them."

Kurt saw Blaine purse his lips, obviously biting back a response.

"Come on boys—we've got a boat to catch."

Kurt just watched as Blaine walked back to their group.

….

Rachel and her dads seemed to squeal with delight at every new thing they saw along the boat tour. An older man named Jim pointed out the major points of interest along with a bit of history through the speaker. Kurt described things to Blaine as they passed, but got no response. Blaine looked weary and a little bit bored.

After the cruise, they headed back closer to their hotel to find someplace to eat. Blaine barely spoke through dinner, but Rachel filled the silence so no one else noticed.

Blaine finally perked up as they walked down Broadway, Kurt listing off the theaters and shows that they passed. The sidewalk was filled with people arriving for the Saturday night shows and Blaine grabbed onto Kurt's arm hard as a passerby jostled him. Kurt let Rachel take over the commentary after that.

When they got to the middle of Times Square, Rachel squealed and ran up the TKTS stairs.

Kurt watched Blaine who had now taken his hand back once the crowd thinned.

"You want to walk up the steps? I hear it's a must-do in Times Square."

"Are there a lot of people on them?"

"It's not packed, but there are quite a few. If we walk along the side, the rail will help. Here, just grab my arm."

Instead, Blaine reached unsteadily to the side to find the rail. "Go ahead, I'll meet you up there."

Kurt sighed but walked several steps up before looking back at Blaine. He was thankful that people seemed to take notice of Blaine and Roxy and moved out of the way as a courtesy. Blaine tentatively took the steps up, letting Roxy lead him. He bumped into someone that Roxy had tried to lead him around, but he refused to let go of the rail. Blaine apologized profusely and stood there for a moment before continuing to climb. When he reached the top, a smile lit up his face and Kurt couldn't help but smile as well.

"So, Mr. Anderson. You are standing in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by thousands of lights and billboards and people. How do you feel?"

"Completely overwhelmed."

Kurt frowned at that. "Do you want me to describe it?"

Blaine bit his lip and nodded.

Kurt crowded in close to whisper in his ear. He described every color, every billboard, every illuminated building. When he pulled away, Blaine's eyes shone with unshed tears.

"I wish I could see it."

"Me too." Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands and started to pull him to the side. "Let's go back down."

Blaine pulled his hand away and again reached out for the railing. "I can do it with Roxy."

This time Kurt let him go first. Blaine took each step slowly, skimming his hand along the side rather than holding it in a death grip. On the second-to-last step, he faltered and fell forward onto the sidewalk. He quickly got up, but several strangers came close to make sure he was okay.

Kurt rubbed his back and Blaine recoiled. "Are you o—"

"I'm fine, I just scraped my hand. Can we go back to the hotel?"

"Yah, sure. Rachel, you guys keep exploring without us. We'll see you back at the hotel."

Rachel just nodded and both of her dads looked like they wanted to speak up or offer comfort of some kind, but Kurt just shook his head.

They walked back to the hotel in silence, Kurt lightly holding the wrist of Blaine's scraped hand as he lead him.

Back in the room, Blaine went straight to the bathroom to run his hand under cool water.

"Here, let me look. I have my trusty first aid kit."

"It's fine, Kurt. It's just a scratch."

"Even so, let me at least disinfect it."

"Just leave it there and I'll do it."

"Blaine…"

"**What?**"

Kurt flinched at the tone and volume of the word.

"I didn't mean to yell. Just please, I don't need you to do it, I need to do it myself."

"I know you don't need me to do everything for you, but why won't you let me do _some_ things for you? I'm trying to be helpful."

"I have to be able to do things on my own or I'll never make it."

"You can't possibly do everything by yourself – no one can."

"Well, I need to do as much as I can."

"You've set some unrealistic expectation that you'll never achieve. Why are you so upset about this?"

"Because I can't become dependent on you! Don't you understand that?

"What? We depend on each other. Why won't you let me help?"

"Because one day you'll leave me."

"What?"

Blaine let out an exasperated sigh. "Forget it."

"No, no, no. What do you mean that I'll leave you?"

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. "One day you're going to realize that I'm too much trouble or that there's someone else out there that's better. Someone that's not so needy. Someone that can drive to the store, or hang a picture on the wall, or walk up and down some stupid stairs instead of stumbling and falling. You need someone that can look you in the eyes when they tell you how beautiful you are. I'm never going to be able to do any of that. I know you want to get married eventually and one day you'll want to bring a beautiful child into your life and you and that child both deserve more than me."

Kurt brought his hand to cover his gaping mouth as he stared in shock at the tears streaming down Blaine's face.

"Oh my god, Blaine…"

Blaine pushed past him out of the bathroom and sat on the bed with his face in his hands.

"Is that what you think?" Blaine didn't lift his head. "That I'm just with you until a better option comes along? That I'm patiently waiting for my real dream guy to come along?"

"No, not like that. Eventually you'll get tired of me. I'm your first boyfriend and you're about to move to a huge city with so many single guys that would kill to be with you."

Kurt knelt on the floor in front of Blaine. "First boyfriend or not, I don't want any of them. I love you and you're the only one I want to be with."

"For now."

"I can't tell the future, Blaine. But when I imagine that life you described many years down the road – getting married and having children. You are the _only_ one I picture by my side."

"Kurt…"

"No, stop it. You have to let me help. Stop pushing me away. You have to let me love you."

"Don't I embarrass you though? I can't walk down a busy street without latching onto you. I tripped and fell in the middle of Times Square."

"You act like no one has ever done that before."

"I was so embarrassed. And I could just feel their pitying eyes on me."

Kurt took Blaine's uninjured hand in his own. "I need you to hear what I'm about to say to you, Blaine. I mean this with every fiber of my being. I love you so much. And I am so proud to be with you."

Blaine took a deep breath trying to calm himself and stop the tears.

"I hope so. I want you to be."

Kurt rubbed circles on Blaine's thighs to soothe him. When Blaine seemed all cried out, Kurt retrieved the first aid kid from the bathroom and gingerly tended to the scrapes on Blaine's hand. They both changed into their pajamas, nightly routine forgotten as they climbed into bed without another word. Kurt waited until he heard Blaine's breathing even out before he let himself fall asleep as well.

….

The next day was better. They woke up in a tangle of limbs, too hot under the covers, but happy just to be together.

Blaine had reached a breaking point and said things he never wanted Kurt to know. His fears, his insecurities… all laid bare before him. And somehow Kurt knew just what to say. It didn't solve everything – Blaine still had those same worries, but he felt more confident in this beautiful man that he loved and who loved him back.

They continued their tour of the city's tourist attractions, another beautiful day.

After a quick rest and change at the hotel, they found a well-reviewed French bistro just around the corner from their hotel for an early dinner. The place was bustling, but Kurt assured them it would be worth the wait based on what he'd read.

"Oh no, I forgot my phone back in the room."

"That's okay, we've got several others between us should you need to make a call."

"No, it's just that with my dad… I always have to have my phone just in case. I'm going to run back really quick and get it since we have to wait anyway."

"Kurt, we won't even be here that long. Do you really need it? You can call your dad from my phone and let him know if you're that worried."

"I'm sorry, I just worry. I'd feel better if I had it. I promise I'll be right back."

"You can't go alone."

"Okay, okay. Rachel?"

"Yes! I would love to run to the hotel with you, Kurt!"

Blaine noted that she was awfully enthusiastic about the situation.

"We'll be back in fifteen minutes – tops."

It was awkward at first, being alone with Rachel's dads, but they made conversation easy. Shortly after they were seated, Rachel and Kurt returned.

"Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

Blaine could hear them both breathing heavily as if they really had run the whole way.

….

After dinner, the Berrys went off towards Broadway and Kurt said he wanted to go back to Times Square. Blaine inwardly groaned, but was also thankful to get a break from Rachel. The girl was like a really self-centered Energizer bunny on crack.

As they walked in the cool evening air, Blaine smiled.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I love this. Walking hand-in-hand with you in New York."

"Many more nights like this to come."

That drew another smile from Blaine. "I can't wait."

"Hey, actually, do you mind if we just head back to the hotel? I kind of just want to veg."

"Your last night in New York and you don't want to see more bright lights of the big city?"

"They're not going anywhere."

Blaine nodded and they slowly made their way back to the hotel.

The second the hotel room door was opened Blaine knew something was different.

"Kurt? What did—"

"Just come in."

Blaine walked in and was enveloped by the sweet floral scent in the room.

"So, I may have slightly fibbed earlier when I told you I forgot my phone."

"And by 'slightly fibbed' you mean you lied to come back here and put flowers in the room?"

"I have a surprise for you."

"I don't normally like surprises, but I think I might like where this is going."

Kurt kissed him sweetly then. Short close-mouthed pecks that made Blaine's lips tingle.

"We won't have a lot of time—Rachel can only entertain herself for so long walking around the different theaters."

"Trust me, Blaine. We've got plenty of time. I bribed Rachel with tickets for her and her dads to _Chicago_. And when the show is over, she's going to pretend like she doesn't want to wake us and sleep in their room tonight."

"Don't you think they'll be a little suspicious?"

"Who cares? I want you all to myself."

Kurt kissed him again then, less sweet and filled with want. Blaine was starting to lose himself in the kiss when Kurt abruptly pulled away.

"No, come back."

"I want to give you all my surprises though."

Blaine pouted and Kurt poked him in the side, effectively making him giggle and erasing the pout.

"So, first, I wanted the room to smell amazing."

"Is that lavender?"

"Hyacinths. I saw them at the vendor earlier and bought every one he had."

"It's lovely."

"I'm glad you like. Now come sit."

Kurt pulled him to the end of the bed and plopped them both down unceremoniously. He felt something smooth run along his bottom lip.

"Open."

Blaine smirked, but did as he was told. The chocolate immediately started to melt against his tongue and he took a small bite.

"Mmm, chocolate covered strawberries. Also very nice."

"I thought some dessert would be good."

They fed each other the strawberries until the plate was empty. Blaine pushed Kurt back and kissed him enthusiastically, licking his way into Kurt's mouth. He felt a hand against his chest, pushing lightly and then Kurt broke the kiss.

"Wait here, I have one more surprise."

Blaine flipped onto his back and threw an arm over his face. He heard faint music coming from the bathroom along with running water.

He pushed himself up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. Kurt met him at the door and started unbuttoning Blaine's shirt. Blaine let himself be undressed, placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder while he stepped out of his pants and boxers. He felt the smooth skin under his touch.

"If you wanted to get me naked, Kurt, you really didn't have to go to all this trouble." He'd meant it teasingly, but Kurt took several moments before he responded.

"I want to make everything special for you. You deserve that. Now come take a bath with me."

The water was hot – probably hotter than he would normally like, but it felt amazing as it engulfed his tired body. He settled back into Kurt who was already lightly massaging his shoulders.

"Just relax." The music played softly in the background and Kurt gently washed his body.

Kurt's breath was hot against his ear as he whispered. "One day…" A small kiss behind his ear. "I'm going to break you of this helmet hair."

Blaine chuckled and then let out a contented sigh as Kurt shampooed and massaged his head.

They stayed there until the water turned cool. Blaine had a feeling of complete bliss.

Blaine stood still on the bathroom mat as Kurt dried every inch of him with the towel. He briefly thought that he should be embarrassed being so exposed, but all he felt was safe and loved. The cool air sent a chill through his body.

"Do you want a bathrobe?" Kurt was still bent in front of him and the thought sent another shiver through him.

Blaine shook his head, not trusting his voice.

"Okay." Kurt slowly rose, his hands running from ankle to shoulder up Blaine's side. They stood there, only the soft sound of the music playing in the background, Kurt's hands rubbing gently at his shoulders.

"Kurt?"

"You're so beautiful." The way Kurt said it with such reverence made Blaine blush. "Let's go to bed."

Blaine let himself be led back to the bed and lay side-by-side with Kurt.

"We can just go to sleep."

Blaine grinned wickedly. "So you did all of this just so we could go to bed early on our last night in New York?"

"No, I did it to make you happy. But I didn't _expect_ anything tonight."

"I'm just teasing you." He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Kurt's forehead. "Thank you for doing this."

He leaned in again and captured Kurt's lips in a much more passionate kiss. Pressing him back into the pillows, Blaine could feel his skin burning everywhere he touched Kurt. When they pulled apart for a desperate breath, Blaine's body still casually rocked against Kurt's hip, the friction making him harder.

"Kurt…"

"I'm here, baby."

"Can we…"

"Anything."

"I want you."

"You have me."

"No. Want you inside me."

Kurt pushed back, flipping them so Blaine was against the pillows, pinning him with another eager kiss. "Yes, yes, oh yes."

Kurt pulled away slightly and Blaine whined at the loss of contact.

"Let me just get the… stuff."

The cold air chilled his body, but then Kurt was back on him kissing more franticly. Kurt's tongue explored his mouth and all Blaine could do was lay back and submit. It felt amazing.

Kurt pulled away from his lips, but started a trail of kisses along his jaw and neck. When he bit lightly on the side of his neck, Blaine's hips jerked up seemingly against his will.

Everywhere Kurt kissed and sucked felt hot, a tingling path of pleasure. But when he moved to a new spot, the cool air on the wet trail speckled his skin with goosebumps.

"Let me take care of you."

Blaine took in a shuddery breath and Kurt licked his nipple. He wanted to say something, do something, but he could only focus on Kurt's mouth trailing down his body. Hot and cool and soft and wet.

Kurt kissed and sucked along his stomach and elicited a high moan as he took his cock in one hand. His movement was slow, barely stroking, still focused on kissing every inch of Blaine's body. Blaine couldn't stop his hips from canting up. Kurt stopped kissing him and placed his free hand on Blaine's hip. Before Blaine could complain about the loss of warmth, he felt Kurt tentatively lick the tip of his dick.

"Oh god."

This seemed to encourage Kurt as he wrapped his lips around the head and slowly took more and more into his mouth. Blaine's body was on fire; he'd never felt anything like this. The hand on his hip kept him effectively pinned, so Blaine reached up and wound one hand in Kurt's hair, applying the slightest pressure to urge Kurt down further. His hips bucked up when Kurt rolled his balls in his other hand and then Kurt pulled off as he coughed and sputtered.

"Kurt, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Shh, I'm fine."

And then Kurt's mouth was back, tongue licking up the side of his dick and then down over his balls. Blaine felt a finger rub over his entrance and he clenched and bucked at the same time.

"Please…"

"Yah, okay…"

Kurt's voice sounded as desperate to Blaine as his own. He felt Kurt shuffling on the bed and then he resituated between Blaine's legs.

Hot hands pressed his legs up to bend, while simultaneously spreading him. A soft kiss was placed on each of his thighs before a slick finger was back at his puckered hole.

"God, you look amazing like this."

Blaine just whined in response. He was fairly convinced he'd forgotten the entire English language, reduced to only sounds to express his wants and reactions.

The finger slowly started to push in and Blaine immediately tensed. Kurt rubbed his thigh in comfort. "Relax."

Blaine took a deep breath, unable to focus on anything other than the finger that had barely breached his hole.

After a few more breaths, the finger pushed in slowly and then stopped. It didn't hurt, it just felt different. The finger twisted and then slowly pumped in and out. A second slicked finger began circling his hole before both were pressed in. He could feel the stretch and how the fingers dragged along his inner walls. After another minute, he heard Kurt opening the lube again and then three fingers pushed in. He hissed at the pain and Kurt distracted him with kitten licks along his balls. He focused on trying to relax and then the fingers inside him twisted and rubbed against a spot that had him throwing his head back with a gasp. Kurt rubbed against the spot again and Blaine was sure he could die completely happy in this moment.

"Kurt… now."

"Do you want to turn over? I heard it—"

"No, like this. Please, Kurt."

His fingers were gone and Blaine immediately missed the fullness inside. Kurt tapped his side and got him to lift his hips so he could put a pillow under him.

Blaine tried to spread his legs even wider and Kurt came back to settle between them. Kurt was ever so lightly rubbing up and down his thighs and Blaine felt so cared for by the soothing gesture.

"You're ready?"

Blaine nodded his head quickly and reached forward to touch Kurt. A hand met him halfway and then pressed a soft kiss to his palm. Blaine felt Kurt line himself up and start to push the head of his cock in. Blaine's mouth fell open but no sound came out and Kurt slowly pushed in until he was flush against him. This time, the fullness hurt and he desperately willed his body to relax. Kurt's heaviness settled over him and Blaine pulled him down for a desperate kiss. Kurt pulled out slowly and then pressed back in, finding a steady rhythm. He hit that spot inside again and Blaine moaned desperately into Kurt's mouth, the pain now being consumed by the pleasure.

Blaine brought his legs up around Kurt and tried to pull him closer. His arms clung to Kurt's back, the sweat covering both of their bodies making them slide against each other. Kurt began moving faster and Blaine practically wailed from the pleasure. He couldn't focus on anything except the steady drag, in and out. There was no space between them as they rocked and panted together. He felt Kurt shift and Blaine was suddenly overwhelmed as Kurt simultaneously hit his prostate and began pumping his dick. Before he could even think twice, he was coming hard and silent between them. Kurt groaned and snapped his hips forward half a dozen more times before he stilled on top of Blaine.

Blaine ran his hands along every inch of Kurt he could touch. His brain was unfocused, still riding the high of his orgasm. Kurt breathed heavy in his ear before slowly pulling out and away.

"No, Kurt, please…" He didn't care if he was whining and begging.

"I'm here." His warm body pressed close to Blaine and turned them so they were lying on their sides, spooning.

Blaine pulled Kurt's arm over him and shifted so they were as close as possible. He was overheated, still sweating, and couldn't calm his breathing. For a brief moment he thought he might actually pass out from the sensory overload. But then Kurt kissed his shoulder and the cool air in the room combined with the sweat on his body made him shiver.

"Was that… was it okay?"

Kurt sounded breathless and so unsure of himself. Blaine nodded his head and interlocked his fingers with Kurt's. "I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too, Blaine."

They lay there on top of the covers, the faint sounds of the city in the distance. If ever there were a perfect moment, Blaine was sure it was this. As he started to drift off to sleep, he was certain of one thing.

With this city and this boy, his dreams were coming true.

….


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt had lured Blaine out of the house that morning promising him coffee and scones. But on the way home, their route took a slight detour. It didn't take Blaine too long to notice and he asked copious questions which Kurt merely ignored or gave a quick 'you'll see' before humming along to the radio.

"Okay, so there are two things to be done before we leave for school tomorrow. Number one: have a spectacular going away party at one Ms. Rachel Berry's house. And number two: achieve the impossible."

The car stopped and Kurt shut off the engine.

"Now, I won't be sending you out on your own anytime soon, but I want to show you that all of those doubts in your head are taking up entirely too much space."

"What are you talking about? Where are we?"

"Get out of the car for a sec." Kurt opened his door and walked around to the passenger's side. He grabbed Blaine's hand and led him back around to the other side. "Now get in."

"What? What are you doing?"

"Get in. You're doing to drive."

"Kurt, this is stupid. You know I can't drive."

"So you've said. Thus, we will do that which can not be done. I think you can do this, so get in and prove me wrong."

Blaine was irritated, but he climbed into the driver's seat and pulled the door closed as Kurt ran around to the other side.

"Are you going to put your seatbelt on?"

Blaine tipped his head forward and leaned it against the steering wheel before grabbing the seatbelt and fastening it.

"By all means, let's make sure we're buckled in while the blind guy drives."

"You trust me, right?"

"Yes."

"Then start the car."

"Kurt, seriously, someone could get hurt. There could be other cars or pedestrians. Plus, this is totally illegal."

"Blaine, no one is going to get hurt, it's a beautiful sunny day."

Blain reached forward, running his hand along the steering column before finding the key. He turned the ignition and the car started.

"So, good enough?"

"Nope. Now put your foot on the break, reach up for the gear shift, and pull it down three notches so the car will be in drive."

"Kurt, I can't. I'm going to hit someone or something."

"It's safe. I promise."

Blaine reached up and put the car in drive. "Now what?"

"Now you take your foot off the break and slowly accelerate."

Blaine took a deep breath and moved his foot from the break over to hover just above the gas pedal. The car idled forward slowly and Blaine's grip on the wheel got tighter.

"Gas would be good now."

He hesitantly pressed just barely on the gas pedal and when nothing happened he pressed harder and the car lurched forward. The movement shocked him and he immediately hit the breaks again.

"Kurt—"

"No, just try pushing the gas slowly again. There's a little give in the beginning and you're going to feel like it's not doing anything, but just keep pressing little by little."

Blaine took his foot off the brake again and pressed the gas pedal. Eventually, the engine picked up and they started to move a little faster. A smile immediately spread across Blaine's face.

"Okay, now turn the wheel about two inches to the right. Slowly."

Blaine hesitated and pulled his foot up a little on the gas pedal, but turned the wheel.

"Alright, now release your grip on the wheel and just let it glide under your fingers until it's back in the home position."

Blaine followed every instruction to the letter, alternating between smiling broadly and biting his lip. After 30 minutes of driving in circles, albeit not over 15mph, Blaine put the car in park and turned to Kurt. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now don't ever tell me you can't do something again."

"Where are we?"

"The old Winn Dixie - nothing but concrete with weeds growing through the cracks since Wal-Mart came to town. So thankfully no real obstacles."

"But I didn't know that. Thanks for trusting me and believing in me."

"I always will." Kurt's cool hand played with the curls at the base of Blaine's neck. "Hop out. Now that I know about you and your lead foot, I will not be letting you drive me home."

….

The last Rachel Berry party had gone swimmingly for him, what with Blaine surprising him and the _other_ activities that night. This was their last chance to all be together before half of them went off to college and the other half started their senior year.

He felt a little bad for Blaine because this wasn't his core group. They'd all spent time together over the summer, but these were Kurt's friends… Kurt's glee club. But if Blaine was at all uncomfortable, he didn't let on.

There was surprisingly little drinking going on. Puck only showed up with a six-pack and there were still five left. Kurt didn't think too much of it though – they all seemed to want to keep these last memories clear.

Things looked surprisingly normal. The boys were huddled together making crude jokes and comments about some new teacher at McKinley that was supposedly "smokin'." The girls were taking turns singing karaoke songs on the small stage in the back. Kurt had spent most of the night sitting on the couch, head on Blaine's shoulder, rambling and feeling rather nostalgic about the people in this room. But now Blaine was… somewhere. Bathroom? Talking to Quinn?

Kurt walked over to where the guys were gathered and asked if they'd seen Blaine. Puck raised one eyebrow and pointed behind Kurt. When he turned, he saw Mercedes walking Blaine up to the stage and he couldn't help but smile.

'_What have these girls talked my boyfriend into?'_

Rachel handed Blaine the mic and smiled out at Kurt.

Blaine cleared his throat nervously. "Sorry to put the party on pause for a moment, but I just wanted to say something."

Kurt suddenly got very tense.

"I've had kind of a hard life and with that I kind of distanced myself from people. And then I met Kurt and as you all know he's kind of a firecracker."

"In the sack!"

Kurt glared at Santana, but Blaine just laughed. The comment seemed to relieve some of Blaine's nervousness.

"Well, Kurt, you lit a spark in me so many years ago. And then somehow we found each other again. And for the second time in my life, you sparked something within me just by believing in me when I was only filled with doubt. I'm thankful for everything you've taught me and given me. I am so thankful for you."

Kurt was blushing from head to toe.

Finn and Puck were making fake barfing gestures, but all eyes were on Blaine as he started to sing.

_There was a time _

_I had nothing to give_

_I needed shelter from the storm I was in_

_And when it all got too heavy_

_You carried my weight_

_And I want to hold you_

_And I want to say_

_That you are all that I need_

_For you, I give my soul to keep_

_You see me, love me_

_Just the way I am_

_I said for you I am a better man_

_I said you are the reason_

_For everything I do_

_I'd be lost, so lost without you_

_Under the stars_

_At the edge of the sea_

_There's no one around_

_No one but you and me_

_We'd talk for hours_

_As time drifts away_

_I could stay here forever_

_And hold you this way_

_You are all that I need_

_For you, I give my soul to keep_

_You see me, love me_

_Just the way I am_

_For you I am a better man_

_I said you are the reason_

_For everything I do_

_I'd be lost, so lost without you_

_I'd be lost, so lost without you…_

Kurt thought of two things simultaneously in that moment: Blaine had the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard and he was so head over heels in love with him.

There was clapping and cheers, but Kurt kept his focus on Blaine as he walked to the stage. His arms were wrapped completely around Blaine before he could even think about it. He started to cry softly into Blaine's shoulder.

"Kurt? What's wrong?" He started to pull back, but Kurt locked his arms, not letting Blaine move away.

"Nobody's ever sang to me in front of everyone like that."

"Is that why you're upset?"

"I'm not upset. I'm so happy. That was gorgeous."

"So you liked it?"

"Yes. I love you, Blaine. Promise me you'll always sing to me."

"I promise."

It wasn't until they got home late that night that Kurt finally let go of Blaine. They wanted to spend their last night at home in their own beds, so they parted with a sweet kiss, knowing that in just hours they would be headed off to school – together.

….

Everything was packed, the caravan of cars set to leave shortly. Blaine sat on his bed feeling scared and excited and unsure of so many things. The cool morning breeze drifting in through the windows felt soothing. Roxy rested her head on his knee as he combed his fingers through her soft coat.

"You've always been there for me, girl. Haven't you?"

She licked his palm and he couldn't help but smile.

"It's been you and me against the world for a while now. I couldn't have done it without you. I can't do what's coming without you either. It's not going to be easy."

Roxy startled, her body lifting and turning towards the window.

"Hey beautiful, you ready to start our New York life?" Kurt yelled from his own window. Roxy barked in response. "Then get Blaine off that bed and let's go."

Roxy turned and nuzzled Blaine's hand where it sat on his lap. He couldn't help but laugh at the dog who seemed to understand so well.

He sat there for another minute just petting her and thinking.

"We don't have to do it alone anymore, girl. We've got him now too."

She licked his palm again and jumped off the bed. Blaine got up and walked to the window. He took one last deep breath of fresh air and thought of his mother's beautiful green eyes, his father's comforting touch, and the way his heart seemed to swell whenever he was with Kurt. He closed each of the windows and walked to the door.

"New York, here we come."

….


End file.
